23 days!!!! hot dang!!

In 23 days I will be checking into the hospital, I am getting so excited, so nervous, and a little Debbie downer. I NEED to be healthy for my son, and my self. I am not sure if this procedure will help my condition, since it is auto-immune. I am excited, that clothes will be cheaper, and not just Disney, and floral print on steroids.

But my brain is currently on a "am I doing this for me or society kick"

I can't wrap my brain around why.... yes I am MORBIDLY fat, yes I hurt all the time.... but I will probably always hurt..... am I "fat" enough where I am unhealthy..... or is it just the genetic makeup that my family has. I have a wonderful support team, and they are wonderful. They support me in MY choice to do this, and a few of them, also keep it real. They remind me even though I DO have all my ducks in a row now, many times a little one wonders off...

I have read many of you getting the doubt right after the operation, but does it happen before like this to.... I am questioning EVERYTHING!

It's pretty common for people to second guess their decision before surgery and, really, it should be. You're having a major and elective surgery. You SHOULD question this choice. Any surgery is a potentially risky thing and this is one that we all choose to have - i.e., we're not forced to have it due to an emergency like imminent appendix rupture.

For me, my questioning was all done prior to seeing my surgeon the first time. Once I made that appointment and really got the ball rolling, I never had second thoughts. I was committed. But, for other people, that questioning lasts longer. You're definitely within a range of normal :)

All that said, focus on why you've chosen this. Focus on your intended outcome. Focus on all of those reasons you started your WLS ball rolling. And try to keep your eyes on that "prize" that awaits your vigilance and perseverance.

I know I have EVERYTHING, thought through and set. I bought gallons of distilled water, my 5 gallon jugs, gross power-aid, about 10 kinds of jello, chicken broth, 3 kinds of protein shakes. I have clothes labeled and set up according to size. I HAVE THE BEST support team ever. I just seem to be lost in my self on the why....

Well, why did you start this process in the first place? What inspired you to pursue WLS and to jump through whatever hoops you were required to jump through? What motivated you to start?

well, honestly I want to be there for my son. On my fathers side of the family, me at 36 am currently the second oldest alive.... most have died before their 42 birthday. I am trying to be healthy, for my kid..... I can not imagine a day with out him.... I want to live to see him do so many things in life. He is my heart out side my body.... nothing makes me happier then being a mom... a gift I never thought I would have.

I recommend trying to focus on this. If you're crafty at all, make a collage of activities that you're looking forward to doing with your son - if he's old enough, maybe he can do it with you? Physical activities, graduation, wedding, all those sorts of things that you look forward to being able to do with him or to cheer him on through.

If a collage isn't your thing (it's not mine!), maybe just lists of the things you're looking forward to doing with him or for him. Surf websites for ideas too and save links of activities that you think you'll enjoy as he gets older.

I feel like this would be a good way to focus on your motivation :)

YEs, My first date was November 2 actually, but I did not know for sure it would be that day we guessed... then they bumped me up a week, because my doctor will be out of the office. So now it is October 23.

Yes I call my self crafty. I am currently working on wreaths for different people and holidays. I also am working on like 5 diaper cakes. Trying to keep myself busy to pass the time, so I don't overthink EVERYTHING!

I do like that Idea. My son and I have a great bond, he understand that I am not always able to do things with him.....sadly he understands. It hurts me sooo much. he wants us to take on the world with running around, playing football, swimming, and I just don't have the energy or strength to do all of that.

Yay for the earlier date! :D

And I'm seriously in awe of crafty people. I cook. And sing. And.. yeah. I used to cross stitch a LOT when I was younger, more broke, and had time.

You will have the energy and strength. You WILL take on the world with him :D

haha I can't cook, and I can't sing... I have a few dishes that I make well, otherwise everything is the same.....

I am defiantly making time for my little project, on my tight budget. Its the little things I can do me for.... and nobody can take that away. I lose interest in things fast, especially if some one out shines me and rubs it in. I am not saying I NEED or WANT to be the best, but if people read a book over my shoulder or do spoilers, bye bye book. But its like that with many things in my life.... and I am wondering to myself if that is why I am doubting this

I hear you. My partner teases me because I get TOTALLY involved in something and then, eventually, drift off. But it's one of the things I'm working on about myself even though it's challenging. I can definitely see how that propensity would make you fearful about whether you could stick with this.

But you can because you have an amazing motivation. Sharing the life of your child is way better than just seeing what happens at the end of a book :D