Upset with myself

I'm writing because I know here is where people will understand what I am going through. I had VSG seven years ago lost a total of 117 lbs went from 267 lbs to 150 lbs in about 7 months. When I started this journey I had developed breast cancer for the second time was caught very early and did well. But losing the weight during that period was making me so happy that I didn't even care about the cancer.

Today I am back up to 189 lbs (gained weight in he last 3 years once I moved to a different area) and I am beside myself. I know what to do protein first, low carbs,walking for exercise. I start off all hung-ho and then slowly fall back into my old ways. The beginning was so easy, the weight just fell off. Buying new clothes, looking good - but after 2 years it hits me now what!!! All that excitement was gone - but I still kept it off.

I just don't know how to stay motivated to keep on track. I'm so angry with myself for getting back up to this weight. I just want to cry! I look at the clothes I purchased years ago was down to a size 8 now I am back up to a size 14 - so scared that I'm going to gain back all that I have lost.

I am very stressed now, dealing with my 90 year old mother who broker her hip in April. Having to take care of her when I can (I work), have sibblings who don't pitch in so everything in falling onto my shoulders.

Sorry, I just needed somewhere to vent. Thank you all for listening.

Toni

I'm sorry to hear you are going thru so many struggles. I will keep you in my prayers.

Thank you!

Sorry you are struggling. Stress with mom care no doubt contributes to eating issues. Take a moment each day to contemplate self care which equals eating right and walking or whatever you can do. See if you can get those siblings to pitch in. Not fair for you to do it all. (been there, done that) Diane S

Thank you for your reply. I've started on my journey (again) and determined to win. Easier said than done with my sibblings - but I always feel there's a reason that I was put on this earth!.

Thank you again!

Toni R.

The best way to get back on the wagon is to LOG EVERYTHING. Even if you eat something you shouldn't, record it in MFP (or whatever other software you use). Logging and staying accountable is a huge help.

Thank you. Yes I started that again today - I'm going to win this battle!!

I am sorry to hear your are struggling. I can't tell you I understand yet as I don't go for surgery until Friday, so I don't know yet what you have gone through. However, I can tell you that I will keep you in my prayers. Hang in there, I know its tough to care for someone and yourself, especially when those around you do not support your efforts.

Diane

Thank you for your reply. It's hard not to go back to old ways, but today is a new day and I am determined to win this battle (again).

Good luck with your surgery, I will say a prayer for you that all goes smoothly.

Toni

Toni, I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time. I know what it's like to have to jump in to take care of relatives with health problems while maintaining a career. It can be ridiculously stressful! Your mother is really lucky to have you watching out for her. Just please be sure to watch out for yourself, too. You can't be 100% for the others in your life if you don't take care of numero uno.

It sounds like you have been successful in the past both in losing weight and kicking cancer's butt. These are two things you can be proud of and you can build on those successes now. You know what to do...you mentioned it in your second paragraph...now you simply need to find the motivation to take care of your health. The good news is that you recognized this before you gained all the weight back, so you already have a head start.

Take care of yourself!