I don't want to use the world jealousy but ...

So, I'm 22 years old and I weigh 226 pounds (it fluctuates) . I'm in the process of getting vertical sleeve ( might have it done by September) and I'm happy and I do feel this surgery is right for me . My boyfriend is the first person I told about this and he's 100% supportive and has come to support groups with me and he is ready to change his eating habits with me . Then I told my mom and she's very supportive and excited for me and since she's had it done, she knows exactly what to cook and how to care for me (: .. Then, I told my best fiend . And her response was .. " I don't agree with it and surgery is dangerous and I think you should just do it the old fashion way but ... if you want it . It's your body. I'll support you but, I just don't agree with it " . And I was kind of upset but , whatever . But, everyone I mention it , she changes the topic or she gets very annoyed with me . I HATE to jump to conclusions and say she's jealous .. I wouldn't understand why because she's like 5"0 90 pounds and she's gorgeous . Everyone knows her as the pretty friend . There are times where I'll be talking about it and she'll sound completely okay. Then, other times she's very snappy and rude . Just the other day I was telling her my surgery date is coming up and she said " well you're the one who chose to do this " . And another time she was jokingly saying "I'll be the one struggling to not gain weight and you'll have it easy" . And NOW she starts talking about how it's hard for her to maintain and she has to work hard and she's always trying to work out and saying she's putting in work.. when she never use to talk about it before . I told her it's NOT the easy way out and her response is " well you're losing weight by eating smaller portions and you're pretty much forced to eat smaller portions anyway" .. lately she's been really snappy with me and I confronted her about it and she said "well I'm sorry I can't see things your way" . CAN SOMEBODY please give me advice .. or let me know your opinion? I hate to use the word jealous and I can't ever imagine her being a jealous person.

Sort of sounds like she might be reacting to the changing dynamic of your relationship. You will no longer be "the obese friend." I'm just guessing at this. I would write her a letter and tell her how you feel using "I feel" statements instead of "you make me feel..." statements. Write the letter without expecting an apology. See how it goes. You may have to think about letting her go from your life if she is impacting your friendship in a negative way. Right now you need healthy, positive support from the people around you. Or, you could just not talk to her about the surgery at all and only discuss it with those around you that support your decision. Good luck, I know it's hard.

I have spoken with her about it but, she just was very snappy and didn't seem to take me seriously . I think you're right though , that I won't be that "obese" friend anymore .

I would recommend that you stop talking with her about it. It clearly makes her uncomfortable and she has tried to change the subject. Respecting that seems wise.

She talks to me about her problems all the time and we just talk. Even when I don't agree with stuff she says , I still comfort her and talk with her . I was hoping me talking about it wasn't going to be a problem since she talks about every single thing in her life . It was always a mutual thing until this . But, I guess I should stop.

Sometimes people have boundaries we don't expect. It sucks, but... that's life. There are definitely people in my life who are similar. If not about WLS then about something else. I'm sure I'm the same - I'm pretty much an open book with my friends but some topics I avoid like the plague no matter how close a friendship is.

That's upsetting . Even when I talk about my boyfriend she gets really annoyed with me . He's gone for two weeks and all I said was "I'm going to miss him", that's it . Nothing more. and her reply was "it's not the end of the world stop acting like you're going to die without him" . She was also very annoyed that I hangout with him every day .. she never asks me to hangout and I'm always the one asking her so I don't feel it's because she wants to hangout .

It seems to me that she does not place the same value on your friendship that you place on hers. I'm sorry. This seems like a very lopsided relationship. Perhaps it might be wise for you to invest your time and energy in those *****turn the favor instead of this person.

So, it's not just the subject of weight loss surgery that she gets annoyed at. She is snapping at you when it comes to other subjects in your life, like your boyfriend. I think you need to tell her how you feel, if you can't say it to her directly I think a letter is in order like I mentioned above:-) Sounds like she may not be a very healthy or supportive friend, just by what you are saying here.

I've already confronted her and she didn't really take it seriously .. I'm just upset because it was never like this . It was always equal. We always talked about everything . She always use to care . It's ever since this surgery thing was brought up, she changed into a different person and it makes me really sad .