Talking about weight

It makes me sad that I cannot remember how it felt. In my head I think I did not give two ****s about other people and weight loss but I do remember as my weigh ballooned way out of control I became more aware of it. I lost a few friends who had WLS around the same time I did, they could not get passed their issues and self sabotaged and I was able to continue to loose the weight, I know I would encourage them to join me in working out etc.. but I did not feel like I was judging them I just needed friends during my journey.

Now I have three good friends left who have had surgery, all three gained a significant amount back, I am super careful not to mention anything about my working out or joining me on walks, or what I am eating to them. In fact I find that I am uncomfortable going out to eat with them because I dont want them to feel bad about what they are eating. Yes they could make better choices, but we all could to be honest. I could use to loose another 30lbs if I was being real with myself. I just try to be supportive, there is obviously something going on in their life (or not) that is causing them to go back to old habits. Sometimes it is just being busy, most of us started this journey before becoming working mothers. I have three and I know back when I only had one baby and was not married it was so much easier to keep my diet in check! So I try to be a friend, not feeling responsible for their feelings but being sensitive because I love them. It makes me sad sometimes because I love them no matter what size they are, and I know I feel an enormous amount of pressure at times to keep the weight off. Like everyone is just waiting for me to gain it back and the days I am not making great choices I feel like the world is looking at me.

Just another part of the struggle no one tells you about when you start.