I AM SUCH A FAILURE :(

Formymind,

I can totally relate to the food issues as well as taking a care of the kids on your own, plus we're close together on our surgery dates. My HW was 259. Surgery 10 Jul weighing 230. Right after, I gained 10 lbs from swelling, etc. I'm 232 now.

Just because you slipped doesn't mean you are a failure! You will be successful! Just remember that every next decision you make is a chance to right any wrong before.

You mentioned cooking for your family. If it's just you and the kids, get them involved in eating healthier. They don't have to do liquids, but shakes are good for them too! :)

Keep your *****or like me, chins) held high! You can do this, and I'm proud of you for reaching out for outsiders' advice! Remember you ARE a beautiful person and mother!

If your very best friend had the same experience as you have described, what would you say to her or him?

I am thinking, gentle gentle gentle. This is a huge transition that I thought I was prepared for beforehand. You can't know until you go through it, though. It requires a gigantic amount of learning, and luckily there are a billion stories about how others have managed here online.

Our issues are complicated, no doubt about it. We are members of an exclusive club that we probably wouldn't have chosen if we'd had any choice. But you can learn and adapt and grow into the person you want to be. I firmly believe that. It will get better!

I see that you have many who are encouraging you to counseling. That is a great tool!

But, something my sis said to me recently when I was also feeling like a failure with this journey...PROTECT YOUR PROGRESS...it was exactly what I needed to hear to remind myself to stop beating myself up for "failure". I have not been perfect, but I need to give myself credit for all the success that are part of this history.

You have been brave...you have had body-altering, life-changing surgery and are looking to the future for health. You have lost more weight in just a couple weeks than probably in a month in your past. You can and will do this journey. And you will look back and be proud of the person you are. One with courage, determination, success, and health.

Be gentle with yourself. Remember to protect all the progress that has brought you here. And remember how you are sooooo worth it!

I haven't read through all the comments so forgive me if it's been said but... try and remember when you make a choice that isn't the best and you will from time to time.... we are human... regret, anxiety, guilt, beating yourself up... are all really pointless... you can't change the past but you can use the situation to pause and think... why did it happen/how can I plan or set myself for a better outcome next time.

They operate on our guts and weight loss will happen but the above the neck stuff... that needs to be worked on too and IMHO the hardest part of this journey... build that team... therapist, support group, friends and family, here! to help boost you up on days you are feeling weak and remind you to move forward always :)

Best to you!! ~Shelly

You are NOT a failure. It's okay to have a hiccup here and there, as long as they are mostly isolated incidents. It seems to be a common thing that people are suggesting, but truly, try to see a therapist.

I am the queen of self sabotage. We have an incredible opportunity to lose weight, which also means losing our security blanket, and our comfort found with food. I think self-sabotage comes from being scared of losing that comfort, which we may not realize.

I find myself slipping up as well, and I'm pretty freshly sleeved. This is a lifelong journey, it's not going to be easy, and there are going to be mistakes along the way. We will get there!