I AM SUCH A FAILURE :(

I will have a look at it, its hard to explain my turmoil is to do with how i feel about myself, not the food itself? if that makes sense, like the punishing myself , is because of how i feel about myself i love food in itself . ( which is why i ate so much of it lol) i have a tendency to always have an issue with failure, or the thought of failure in all areas of my life.

It does make sense. I've been there too. My therapist always tells me that I give myself the double whammy - I judge myself negatively. And then I judge myself negatively for judging myself negatively :P

One of the things that has helped me in life, to overcome issues/thoughts of failure, is to find things that I'm really good at and then do those things often. This probably sounds really simplistic and dumb, but it has worked very well for me. Being successful at something makes me feel like I am a person who CAN be successful and that makes it easier to be successful at other things.

I'm saying this in a way that means "you sound like you could use a therapist on Team You." Many of us have this need and there shouldn't be a negative stigma attached to mental health. We see doctors when we're physically unwell, so why is mental health different?

I apologise then, I find my whole post pretty embarrasing , I am not really readily open in real life, and quite closed up so when that was the first responce with nothing else, ( as in like what you explained) it sounded quite harsh like you were saying " oh **** cart her in this b*ish aint right lol)

There is a huge stigma , i know :) i help people with mental health issues everyday ( i volunteer)

but for myself i just already found my post pretty pathetic. lol

I wasn't offended so no need to apologize, but thank you. I wish our society wasn't so anti-mental health that asking someone if they had a therapist came across as "you're crazy." Because, seriously, I can ask a friend if they've got an orthopedist and it's not even a tiny issue :)

Don't worry too much about sounding pathetic. Many of us have been where you are. So... if you are pathetic, take comfort in the knowledge that you have lots of company!

oh and i dont know why mental health is different for myself. its not different to me for others. but for myself id rather not go into it lol probably to do with my upbringing as i was pretty much laughed at by my dad when my ocd diagnosis first came about as a kid lol

I actually understand this, how it's different for self than for others. I am 100% on board with encouraging my friends to seek therapy and medication (when necessary) for mental health concerns. But when I realized I had Binge Eating Disorder and decided to pursue medication? OMG, I was super resistant to that. Totally cool and supportive of other people getting proper mental health medication - felt like a complete and utter failure at life when I needed to do so for myself.

it seems my responses are abit lagging lol but your responce about me being in company did make me giggle so i needed that :) thank you!

One thing that has worked for me is to keep up my liquids so I am not dehydrated. Also, I drink an herbal tea to help without caffeine.

And no it was not worth it , im just burping like crazy