Why Can't I Feel Super Excited About WLS The Way Everyone Else Does

I'm still very afraid of having surgery and somehow believe it is not for me despite still being SMO. My surgeon is not helping things either:The first time I met him he was an hour and a half late. There was a big storm at six am but I made it carefully on the highway in the storm and arrived on time.

When he finally showed up he was squinting as he read my paper work( oh and btw the camera does add ten pounds he looks so much leaner in person) I said to him try these as I handed him MY glasses and he was like oh okay my mouth went wide as I thought oh my word is this how surgery is going to be?? After that shock he asked if I had any questions or concerns, he answered all my questions and then I admitted although I need surgery I do not want to have surgery! His one eye raised and he responded with well I'd like to hear you say that in three months and the other attending doctor said perhaps we can record her saying that and I felt a bit of embarrassment. The next day I decided to cancel surgery. That was two months ago.

A month later during my cycle I bought a half gallon of delicious ice cream along with ten sugar bowl cones and finished all of it the next day. So I decided to call back his office to get back on the schedule. Yesterday I went for the EGD. I was very nervous to the point where five of them had to talk to me reassuringly. Then they turned the lights down low and had me visualize being on a beach well that worked. However, it was NOT my surgeon who performed the EGD which was clear of everything. My Dr. Duncan was five hours late and another patient before me had given up, she left screaming in the phone to his office personnel. I arrived at 9 and wasn't taken bac****il 2:15 because he was called for an emergency procedure. I am so torn over having wls. I'm afraid, I do not want it, I now don't trust my skilled surgeon. I was petrified over just the EGD. I do have a bit of sore throat today and my belly is gurgling probably from starving yesterday. I ate broccoli and shrimp and soup yesterday and lots of water and yet my urine smells medicinal. HELP! I don't know what I need to adjust my thinking I may just need counseling.

I do have everything in place for the surgery on the 18th. A girl is coming to help with my needs, and a driver will deliver me to my 2-day f/up. Why can't I be over the top excited the way everyone else is. I'm still so fat and don't want to be. On the other hand this high protein two week plan has been wonderful. Not as hard as I thought. I am learning to chew and chew some more. I don't drink with meals and I some how no longer crave sugars. I have been slurping on those tasty sugar-free pops. Man those are good. I even made high protein pops and they are delightful. I swim and tone four times a week. My face is smaller and my bellies are leaner. And yet I'm still fat. I don't know how to decide. I just can't get past the possible outcome and being a whimp and anticipating such possible outcomes is driving me crazy. Oh and then I found out a family friend had non wls and is now paralyzed!

Oh my word!!! The nurse just called interrupting my typing...she said she had a few more questions to go over about my procedure next Tuesday, I told her I would call back and quickly hung up. Don't know what to do...

Getting surgery is a terrifying process. You are right to feel some fear. Having said that, the payoff can be worth it. In your shoes I would be reluctant based on your surgeon alone, too. My surgeon is the head of surgery at one hospital and works at several others and is rarely late, though cancelled appointments do happen, and they cannot predict it.

It is a scary process in general. Do you have any support to help you through it? I definitely would suggest counseling to come to terms with surgery, or whatever else you choose.

Ask yourself why you want to change. Are you really tired of being over weight? If you still are buying and eating a half gallon of ice cream, then your mind hasn't really gotten on board for a permanent change. The surgery is a permanent tool, but it will not magically cause permanent loss. Only your brain can do that.

I know I am tied of lugging an extra person I don't need around. What I wanted was a way to loose the weight and have a reset so that my new diet will stay where I should be. That is why I chose VSG.

at this point I have now ability to eat anything sweet. It makes me gag. Which is fine by me. I spent months prior to surgery weening myself off of sweets. Sugar and starches are addictive and I don't need those monkeys any more.

but that is just me. You have to decide for you. I had my fear gremlin all the way into surgery. But I had shrunk my down to such a small size that I was able to flick it off my shoulder easily.

Best of luck!

Not everyone is super excited before surgery. Myself, I was just sick and tired of obesity, and WLS was my last resort.

Most of those that do get super excited are also very scared. You can be both.

I roll my eyes a bit when I see people super rah-rah excited about wls surgery. I wonder if their expectations are in the right place. I wonder if they understand that losing is the easy part and changing their habits long term to be able to maintain is where the real work is done. I wonder if they are one who will be back in a few years having gained weight back. Heck, I worry if I will be that person. It's cynical, I know. But this is serious business. It's major organ-altering surgery. It is merely a tool and not a miracle. So give me a wary person who has healthy fears and is asking themselves questions about their readiness for such a change any day. That is a realistic person.

If you aren't comfortable with your surgeon, find a new one. He may have just forgotten his reading glasses in the other room that day. And if you were the person who needed the emergency abdominal surgery, I'm sure you'd be glad he dropped everything to help you. As for the person paralyzed by non-wls surgery, that's like saying you can't ever fly because you know someone who was in a car crash. Apples and oranges. The odds of something like that happening to you are so slim it's not worth thinking about.

Nearly all of us have lost weight like you are doing now and thought, hey I can just do this and lose all my weight! None of us would be here talking about our surgeries if that had worked out. You have between a 2-4% chance of losing the weight on your own and keeping it off for 5 years. Sadly, those are pretty dismal odds no matter how easy your diet is right now.

All that said, none of us can tell you if this is the right thing for you or if you're ready or if your surgeon is a good one. That is for you to soul-search and research until you can decide for yourself. Best of luck to you!

I am hearing two different issues.

One is fear about the surgery and the lifestyle change. That is for you to figure out how to manage, and I strongly recommend therapy. I started therapy months before the surgery, and it's been just as important to my health improvements as the surgery itself.

The other issue is frustration with your surgeon and/or his staff. You're far enough along in the process that you may not want to cancel and go through all of that with another surgeon. You said you've lost confidence in the surgeon. That's serious in my book, and I wouldn't go through with surgery if I didn't have faith in the ability of my surgeon. However, I'm hearing more frustration with scheduling, being late, and being insensitive to you than things that would shake my faith in the surgeon's competence. Those are also serious issues, but to me they are outside the question of competence. I wouldn't have tolerated being treated like that from the beginning, and would have moved on to another surgeon after the first visit. But then, I'm a nurse and very familiar with the health care industry, and I'd have also given him an earful about his manner. Most patients aren't comfortable confronting physicians. At this late date, I would advise figuring out if you truly have lost confidence in his ability, or if you just don't like him personally... and let that drive your decision.

As for not being "super excited", I don't think that's a requirement. I was excited because it was a big change for me, but I made the decision because of worsening health conditions and I was very practical about the decision and the preparation for surgery. Each person has their own feelings and thoughts about the surgery, and it's hard but important to not judge your feelings based on your perception of other people's feelings.

I can tell you that this is hands-down the best thing I've ever done for my health, and my only regret is that I didn't do it years ago. Most people on this and other boards will tell you the same thing. It's not the "easy solution" many think it is, but it is a powerful tool to help us regain our health.

ETA: Also, worrying about the small chance of a surgical complication is normal. But remember that your chances of dying or becoming incapacitated because of the SMO is many many times higher than the possibility of a surgical complication.

Surgery does have some risk ... so its natural to be a little bit afraid. What you need to spend some time and think about .... is that obesity has the same level of risk. For every story of a WLS gone wrong we can find an equally grim tale of an overweight person that had a heart attack or some complication from diabetes.

For all the discomfort you might have recovering from the surgery ... how much daily discomfort do you have right now from obesity? Joint pain? Chronic fatigue? Trouble breathing? The surgery pain will heal and go away ... the pain of obesity will not.

Now the real question you need to ask yourself ... can you lose the weight on your own without the surgery? Before my surgery I was able to keep to a diet for a solid 6 months and lost 30 pounds ... but I could not keep it up beyond that and the weight came back. Ultimately the decision is yours. You are the only one that has to deal with the consequences of that decision. Either way I wish you well of it.

Erm, your surgeon could not see you had to hand him your glasses?

Lord I would have been out of there so fast, my first surgeon rubbed me the wrong way, so i cancelled my surgery booked with him and went with another surgeon and all went well with my surgery!

I was nervuous and anxious till it was awake and realised it was done :) i hope things get less stressfull

I don't want to discourage you but with so much doubt, personally, I don't think you sound ready. I'm not sure how long you went through the authorization process but if that took 6mo-1 year, it should have been time for you to get more comfortable with the idea.

I had the lap band and it didn't work so i went back to the surgeon *****viewed options, i thought about it and did nothing. Super frustrated, I went back to him and talked about the sleeve and gave it thought then decided it was for me. I was scared to death going in surgery and I'm still on soft food. The journey has been a lot harder for me than I've heard other people but i keep faith in that no one has regretted it. I'm single and it's hard going through this without a partner because my lifestyle has changed so much. All my friends are drinkers so I can't go out drinking but have gone a bar with them once. They other option is to go out to eat and i'm just now starting to go to restaurants again but every time the server asks me if my food was ok. Lucky for me, i don't really care what they think so i smile and say sure was!

What i'm urging you to think about is this is a MAJOR lifestyle change that can't be taken lightly. Does the good outweigh the bad...is your weight hurting you physically or will it eventually? I can't wait to get out of plus size clothes, get my confidence back and start dating again. I knew this would be a rough summer and hoping by fall things will be in good shape. Are you ready for that commitment? Try not to rush into anything...i am also concerned about your surgeon and wonder if you should try seeing someone else?

Good luck in making your decision!

It doesn't sound like you should continue with your surgery at this point. It's not going to keep you from binging on ice cream or anything else and you don't want it.

Are you seeing a therapist?