Whatcha Eating Today VSGers? Tuesday, 7/4/2017

Happy Fourth of July!

Ugh. I need to put on the food brakes... Too many gatherings, too many appetizers, too much grazing. No wonder I've gained 20 pounds in past summers.

B - coffee and yogurt

L - protein shake

D - shrimp boil

So, I'm happy to say that after my 300 calories of accidental consumption yesterday, I'm still down .2 this morning. I ended up with over 1,000 total calories yesterday for the first time since surgery. It's a little worrisome how much anxiety that caused me. My friend said I got a look of sheer panic. I admit I'm a control freak and a perfectionist. I wonder what that will say for or against my success long term?

I hope everyone has a happy and safe 4th of July! Pop a tent, call an Uber or a friend! Please don't drink and drive!

B: Premier Protein in 1/2 caff

L: Turkey & Cheese maybe?

D: Pulled pork with North Carolina BBQ sauce

S: No idea! Maybe some shrimp?

E: We're headed to the beach today, but my exercise has been minimal because it's 95 and humid!

I understand the "It's a little worrisome how much anxiety that caused me." sentiment. I think that, whatever else happens, it's good that you're thinking about this. It would be, maybe, a bigger omen if you weren't thinking about it?

I hope so. My friend, I think, was kind of concerned that I had such a "moment" over it. She keeps thinking that I'm approaching "eating more normally", and you can't really explain to someone not going through it that what I eat is my new normal (and eventually yes, I will eat a bit more total quantity to maintain). We have another friend who had RNY 25 days ago and yesterday she dumped while eating frosted flakes. That is terrifying to me. TERRIFYING. I was trying to explain to my non-WLS friend that she literally hasn't even healed yet and she's eating frosted flakes and that's just...WTAF?

Is your non-WLS obese? Or has she always been normal weighted? I think the only people in my life who have wondered when I'll be able to "eat normal" are those who are also obese and it's hard/rude to explain that "well, you have a skewed concept of what normal eating is." My always normal weighted friends tend to eat similarly to how I eat, but will splurge when eating out. I've noticed that the normal weighted people in my life are actually able to practice moderation. (Not what I claimed as moderation 5 years ago, but REAL moderation.) So when I think of "eating more normally" I think of wanting to eat like people who have healthy weights eat. :) Well... people my age who have healthy weights. I had a friend in high school who could eat all day every day every thing and still be a size 0, but that's just crazy teenager metabolism so it doesn't count ;)

And WTF at eating frosted flakes at 25 days out?! Those aren't on my plan at 3+ years out, much less 25 days!!

She's normal weight (though right now she's the biggest she's ever been, and she's bigger than me now). She has her own issues with food, for sure.

Don't we all, eh? :/

It's funny, in a not really funny use of the word, but I know I had issues changing my definition of Gwen from "Gwen, who is SMO" to "Gwen, who has lost a lot of weight and is really close to being normal weighted now." And I'm just NOW, like literally just in the last week or two, coming to the realization that other people might have issues dealing with that change in definition as well - especially people who have known me forever.

And this is something I need to think about and probably talk about with my therapist next time I see her.

Oh, my friends have issues with it. They will swear up and down they don't - but they do. My friend and I went into Hollister and I put on a pair of size 5 jeans and she was in a bigger size (but also shaped completely differently than me) and struggled with it.

If I'm honest, I struggle nearly as much with my changing perception of other people as I do with my own self. This friend was always my promise land. If I could weigh as much as "Sally" I'd be happy forever. I weigh about 5lbs less now, but she's pear shaped and I'm...ruler shaped. I also realize that being normal weight still comes with body issues.

I see people who are normal weight now and they don't look small to me. People who are big look bigger (both SMO people and people like this friend's husband who is 6'5" tall and 250lbs+). I feel small, but I don't always see it when I look in the mirror.

I had the vsg and was given a coke instead of diet coke at a drive through. I had a dumping experience and had to go home change my clothes and lay down for awhile. NEVER again will I order a drink without double checking with the person. That is a horrible experience. Other people don't get it unless they've been through weight loss surgery.

Your stats are amazing!!! Congratulations