Body Realization

Yesterday I had the realization that I will never be a woman with huge boobs again. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm sure, like many fat woman, my boobs were a defining feature of my old body. DD+ cups, woo? I'm having a breast lift later this year (no augmentation) and I'm pretty sure I'll end up as a C cup, which is just sort of "normal," definitely not HUGE.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I've actually been misgendered a few times in the past 2-3 months, granted it's when people have seen me from the neck up (one time in a headshot picture and another time when I was at a hair salon and draped in a cape). A friend told me over the weekend that my face was really angular and I had to go look at myself in a mirror to verify this. In my mind, my face is really round. But it's actually not.

I don't know what point I'm trying to make. It's just odd when your brain image of yourself doesn't match what you actually look like. I thought I'd adjusted to this a year and a half ago when I was having terrible borderline body dysphoria!

I think that when we lose weight we can't see it directly. I take pictures of me sometimes because it makes it easily to view how you really look.

Breast size is important to us as one of the major factors in feeling feminine. I understand it. I'm kind of hoping to shrink, personally. I am excited to be smaller but of course I'm guessing the boobs will also be empty and droopy at that point. Still I bought two sports bras one size down.

But remember, the person who has to define how she appears must work at it. I'm sure you are beautiful. Go take a picture and see that woman...

In 2010 I was a 46H. I'm now a 36/38D and that's only when I'm in a nice bra . I'm guessing by the time I get to goal and the time I get a breast lift I'll be pretty damn small. I haven't decided on augmentation yet, I'm not sure a lift is going to do...much. RIP, big breasts.

But yes, I still see myself as big in all aspects. The picture below came up on my Facebook memories today from exactly 7 years ago, this was close to my max weight.

I'm happy that my chest is getting smaller. I think I look thinner with B's instead of D's. And it's easier for sports and blouses fit better.

I know where you are coming from. Being overweight, our main "beauty" features are long or thick hair and big boobs or booty. After WLS, we sorta lose our old identity. I am almost 60, my big boobs were before everyone could buy a nice rack. It was a defining piece of me. Now, I am glad they are gone. I have started adding iron to prepare for plastics. I don't know how much I want to spend from my 401k. I want to wait for another year but my thighs are so jiggly that people stare so I only wear shorts that go down to the knee when I leave my house. My husband and I are tentatively planning on driving to Mexico and spending the winter down there after we both have some plastics. We both have jobs, but we also receive pensions so we could quit our jobs. I like working and have only been at my current position for 90 days. If I have plastics, I will lose my job. I am following your posts on your plastics. I hope you post pics. I am very excited for you.

I hear you on this one. One of my vanity weight loss goals was to have a chest that stood out further than my belly..... but at this point, I've pretty much given up on that hahha. Although I'm still wearing a large cup size, it's only because it's the only way to coral the extra skin.

On the other hand, I'm now super excited about the idea of not needing supervwide bras straps. To be able to buy bras because they are cute, and not because of superior engineering hahahah

also: strapless bras!! At a 42G, there wasn't enough boning in the world that could support those beasts.

But having said all that, yeah, it's a trip. There is definitely some mourning along with the celebration!

I'm still in the pre surgical date phase of all THIS but the thought of what will happen to my boobs had crossed my mind. Even before I gained all this weight I was gifted up top, but I must admit I too am looking forward to not needing a boulder holder and being able to wear comfortable and breathable bras. And OH MY if I'm ever able to wear a strapless bra I'll be in weightloss heaven! LOL

I totally understand...but can't get past it and thus opted for the augmentation. When one of my consulting surgeons told me I'd end up as a small C after just a lift, I almost cried. I have always been a super busty chick and it's tied so much up into my idea of self that I couldn't reconcile not being that way anymore.

The way I see it is that I'm getting plastics not to attain a look that was never me, but to get my body back to how it should look. For most of my life, I was no smaller than a DD. I'm just trying to get that back and my flat tummy from when I was younger.

But yeah, my dysmorphia is pretty bad even at 2 years out. People tell me they would consider me "thin" or "lanky" now and I don't see that at all. I'm not saying I look how I did, but I certainly think I still look like an overweight person.