Undecided

Hi All,

I've been considering VSG surgery for a few months before I decided to consult with a surgeon. When my consultation appointment finally came, it was a wash - I sat there like a mute. I didn't have any questions prepared - I just listened. I think I was in shock that I was sitting in that seat. I learned that my insurance requires that I go for weigh-ins for at least 6 months prior to surgery approval so I've been going. At times though, I think I'm ready to go for it and other times I think I'm crazy. Did anyone else go through this? If so, any words of advice?

I'm 42 years old and always been overweight - anywhere from 50 to 120 lbs throughout my life (currently 120lbs overweight). When I put my mind to it, I've been able to lose weight; the most I've lost was about 60 lbs -- it took 3 years with massive meal planning and exercise. Problem is I can't keep it off. I've lost and gained 40, 50 and 60 lbs three different times in my life. The fact that I've been able to take the weight off on my own confuses me about making the decision of whether to get the surgery or not. I feel like if I can take it off (not once, not twice, but three times --each time about 5 years apart from one another) then why must I go for this surgery? Then I remember how I keep putting it back on and that scares me too... I don't want to go for this surgery then gain weight again. Any one else out there with a similar story? Were you afraid too? How do you feel now?

I've consulted with 1 surgeon so far and have appointments with 2 others. My other question is how do you decide which surgeon to pick?

Yes, I'm extremely indecisive and I'm not sure if it's because I'm so scared or what the reason is...

I'm open to hearing what anyone has to say about my thoughts above. I'm sure something will help put my mind at ease.

It's totally understandable to be uncertain. I would feel good about my decision, then flip to wondering what I was doing. I'm someone who could lose weight like a champ. 100, 120, and 170 pounds. But I have never maintained. Ever. My surgeon said current thinking puts the chances of someone obese losing and keeping off their excess weight on their own for 5 years at 2-4%. Such dismal odds. The surgery gives you a fighting chance to keep it off.

I will say early on (and every once in a great while now), I think, "I could lose this much eating nearly twice as much pre-surgery." But that capacity is what made it so hard to maintain. Because before I could fit a large pizza in there with room to spare. There is no situation where that kind of bottomless pit capability is a good thing to have. I can't do that anymore and I think I will come to really appreciate that over time.

I do think a lot about maintaining weight loss. I worry about being one of the ones who finds a way to eat around their sleeve. But I hope that with lots of therapy, support from sites like this, and 80% less stomach, I might just be able to do it this time.

What you are going through is not unusual. Most of us lost weight over and over again, only to gain it back, with extra poundage. And most of us had thoughts of "I've lost weight before, maybe I really don't need to have the surgery" but then realize we never were successful in keeping the weight off.

WLS will change your life -- so it's a big step to take. Read as much as you can here. Check out the Resources tab at the top of the page. Read the blog theworldaccordingtoeggface.com. Have questions prepared for your next appointments -- learn the difference between RNY and VSG surgeries.

Best of luck on your journey. Keep reading and learning and you'll feel more comfortable and secure with your decision to proceed.

If you understand that the biggest part of weight problems is psychological, not physical, then is when you are ready to do something about it. Your post-op new tummy is just a tool--you still have to work at losing the weight. There is a huge myth out there that you can have WLS and then eat what you want, and everything will be fine. But we see every day people who have regained on each of the surgeries because they went back to old habits--it's how the mental game is played that determines if you win or lose!

You really need to figure out what it is that causes you to regain the weight:

• Is it just that you eat too much when you eat?
• Is it that you eat all the wrong things?
• Do you binge eat?
• Are you willing to make permanent changes to your diet to maintain weight loss?
• Can you give up carbs and be happy with a high protein, low carb lifestyle for the rest of your life?
• Are there other underlying factors (for example, past trauma) that are behind your weight problems?

The answers to these questions will determine which surgery is best for you. I chose VSG because I could eat as healthy as anyone...I just ate too stinking much! I lost weight more times than I can count. Once I lost 95 pounds on low cal/low fat. Problem is I figured out how MUCH I could eat for my allotted calories per day, and could I eat a lot! Once I stopped counting calories, the pounds came back with a vengeance because I still ate a ton.

Since portion control was my demon, VSG (gastric sleeve) was the perfect surgery for me. Now I get filled up on 6 oz of food...and will never be able to consume more than 8 oz at a time. I had already changed WHAT I ate, now I finally have control over HOW MUCH I eat.

Besides VSG and RNY (gastric bypass), there is also the duodenal switch (DS) surgery. Before your next visit with your surgeon, do some serious research on all the options, make a list of questions, and really find out which one might be best for you. This is a huge decision, make sure it's the right one, and that you are confident in your choice. Best of luck!

I had VSG this last Monday April 10th. I agree with all 3 ladies completely. I have lost and gained too many times. I was totally where you are at, many of us were. This is a tool and I need a tool that will help me with portions. With that being said I need to work the tool - I need to eat right and keep measuring. I tried loosing and keeping it off for the past 17 years and I was tired of it and did not want it to be another 17 years...when by that time I might have Diabetes, High Blood pressure, poor knees, etc. etc. etc. I currently do not have any of those health problems, but I was headed that way. The surgery went great and I am healing and feel really good physically and emotionally. I have no regrets and believe that I can work the tool i have been given. Tomorrow is Easter, my husband and I went shopping to make Easter baskets today. I am pretty darn sure that if I had not had the surgery that I would be eating a bag of peanut M&M's - am Easter Whoppers! I seriously am not even tempted, I have tasted them before and I excited for a new body, more excited than the short term taste of sugar. Did I have the same questions as you - yes I did and the whole 6 months that I did the meetings, Dr. Visits and etc. - I did not lose a pound, even though I had planned on it and if I did I would not do the surgery. When I confirmed my decision and set the date I lost 10 lbs with the 2 week pre-op diet. Sadly, I should have been loosing the entire 6 months, but I was not strong enough, every Monday I would start again. I have done great the past 3 weeks, for the first time I feel like I am not doing this alone. I am grateful that things have gone so easy this past week, I'm sure I will have struggles, but the past often predicts the future and I am glad I am not eating Easter Candy! I scoped the site a lot and often I have read that so many people wish they would have done it sooner, right now I have to agree. Good luck!

Most diets work for a time... but they usually aren't sustainable for life. I think that is a big difference with WLS it allows you to see such great weight loss in a shorter period of time, relieves tons of related health issues, a huge helping hand. WW & JC are 2 of the best programs out there (surveys say) and you are looking at 3% to 5% sustained weight loss after 1 year. Weight loss surgery will lead to 60 to 80% sustained weight loss after 1 year.

That is life changing... given you use the time to make behavioral changes and deal with perhaps any emotional issues related. Obesity is a chronic disease, we'll always be treating it in some way... healthy eating, moving as much as we can, recognizing when we need to adjust the sails by getting support in areas we need it because the scale does still move in both directions... and being scared is not a bad thing... it means you realize this is a major, big deal change. Now it's up to you to make the decision whether you are ready for it.

It was the best decision I ever made. I used to say my only regret was not having it earlier in life but... I'm not sure emotionally I would have been as committed as I was. I was afraid but I knew the alternative... I was suffering from some things that were going to take me out eventually and I wasn't really living, I was existing.

I hope you will find peace with whatever decision you make. Best wishes!

I gained and lost MY ENTIRE LIFE, until I was 100 pounds up, with high blood pressure, sleep apnea, pre-diabetic.

I went to a couple of surgeons, and ended up choosing the head surgeon in a Center of Excellence. I am so happy with the surgeon and the entire program.

VSG was the BEST thing I've ever done for myself: the surgery was way easier than I expected, as was learning to drink/eat differently. I wish I had done it years ago.

Thanks everyone for your replies - they certainly have me thinking! If you don't mind, I'd like to go on with some additional thoughts.

So what if I am a binge eater? or an emotional eater? or a PTSD eater? or worse - all of the above? What do I do? I'm 42 years old and have treated with a LCSW within the last 5 years who helped me identify and understand why I have PTSD. The PTSD is what lead to elevated emotions. Then the binge eating comes from laziness - thats on me and I know it. I work like an animal and when I get home the last thing I want to do I wreck my kitchen so I'll eat something carby or fattening or plain ol' junk food -- and I'll eat a lot of it because I like it. Yes I feel like crap afterwards and look forward to that not being a "thing" anymore. Taking all this into account, my question now is, do I need to do more therapy before I go for surgery? For the most part I'm at peace with my "issues" but I'm still a nervous person and I still work like a beast. Plus, work makes me nervous all the time because I need to meet major deadlines with courts around the country and comply with different rules for each court - (I'm in the legal field) and it's nerve racking!! Finally, there's the cultural thing - being an Italian-American we are constantly celebrating/socializing with food....food is our lives...and we all cook really good. Food is such a big deal that I had a dog named meatballs while growing up. true story. I feel like it's imbedded in me to EAT for every reason. So of course I'm scared to let go of that and I'm scared that once I do decide to let go I'm gonna fail then be miserable that I've failed and can't go back to being me! When I was on the diets and would do good for 3 years at a time, if I ever felt like I needed to eat a steak or a bowl of macaroni with meatballs - I did because I could. Now I won't be able too. thoughts?

Moving on.... How do you guys handle your families? Now that you can only eat 20% of what you used to eat, does your family only get fed 20% ? lol. I'm trying to be funny simply to make light of the situation but it's a serious question? How do you all feel about eating around others when you can only eat so little in comparison to everyone else? I feel like it will make me feel like the odd one out of the bunch which is what I was trying to eliminate in the first place. I was always the fat one. Now I'm gonna be the one who eats 3 fork fulls of food. I don't care if people know I've had the surgery but I don't want to constantly have to explain myself- that 3 fork fulls is enough!

Finally, Ladies -- have any of you lost hair? this terrifies me too. the doc says it grows back. Does it?

OK guys - time to get ready for Easter. May you all have a wonderful day whether you celebrate easter or not. thanks again for listening to my rants...

I am glad that you have come to terms with some of the issues from your past and have found some peace. I am thinking that going back to therapy to deal with your nervousness and work issues would be of great benefit to you. I am a nervous person as well and a constant worrier. I am 14 months post op and still go to therapy once a month, pre op I went once a week. Therapy has helped me deal with my nervousness and worrying with different techniques like breathing exercises, visualization and meditation. If I had the surgery without these other tools I don't think I would have been successful. I would have turned to high carb foods in smaller but frequent quantities to "calm myself down."

The only family member that knows about my surgery is my mother. Our family celebrates everything with food as well. We had an early Easter dinner last night at my favorite seafood restaurant. I ordered a blackened shrimp pecan salad and just said "no thank you" when the appetizers were passed around. No one noticed what or how much I ate, it was like that even when all I could eat was 2-4oz. If they did notice, all I said was I was cutting back on carbs and eating more protein...which is true!

My hair began to fall out around 4 months out, but by one year it had grown back. It wasn't dramatic, just a little annoying.

I had my VSG at age 49, like others have said I don't regret it for even a minute. I wish you all the best. Read everything you can, come back to the forum, ask more questions and most important...listen to your heart.

If you're a binge eater, emotional eater etc you'll need to work on those things with your therapist. You'll know when working with yours if you need more therapy or not. Working on those things b4 surgery I think is more helpful then after, but everyone is different. As long as you're getting help that's all that matters.

As far as the cultural thing & food, that's a tough one. You'll have to change your attitude towards food even if your family doesn't. There's some foods like pasta & bread that you'll have to avoid, but on the other hand you'll be eating more protein like meat. Come up with a list of answers whenever someone asks why you're eating so little if you don't want to talk about wls. Re direct the conversation. Talk about something else that other people will talk about, that way they're not so focused on what you're not eating.

I didn't worry about the hair thing. For 1 it grows back, & 2 there are so many wigs & weaves etc that you can do to your hair, it was 1 less thing I had to worry about in the morning. Plus summer is coming, a short cut or a ponytail works with all that hot weather!

Good Luck on you weight loss journey.