Having Surgery on Thursday 3/23/17

Hi All-

I have been reading and lurking about here for a while now and have found so much useful information. I just thought that with my surgery so close now I would go ahead and do my first post. I have lost 100 lbs around 3-4 times before and I know how much support like these forums really help. I am very nervous about the surgery, but I know it is for the best. I have not been able to focus and stay on a weight loss path for over a year and a half now and I really need a good tool to help me get started and stay focused with.

I have been doing a pre-op diet for the last 3 weeks and have struggled a couple of times with it. I am all liquid these last few days now and hopeful.

My stats so far are:
HW: 410, CW: 383.8

Right now I have only shared that I am having surgery with my wife, mother, boss and my kids (8 and 10.) I was very public with my other weight loss attempts, whether it was juicing or going to the Biggest Loser Resort, but for some reason I don't really want to talk about this one with everyone. I just am tired of always talking about what diet or thing I am doing to lose weight with acquaintances that have no idea what food addiction is like. I feel at this point it is more draining than just about anything.

I hope I will be checking in again on Friday or Saturday after a successful (an hopefully not too painful) surgery. I can't wait!

-Dwayne

Good luck!

To really succeed at surgery, the vast majority of us pour everything we have into it. A lot of time goes into studying, concentrating, and working on our diet, health, and activity. And most of us talk about it. A lot. And our friends and loved ones get really tired of hearing about it.

Don't be afraid to come back often and ask questions, vent, or just plain discuss. We've all been through it, and we get it.

Thanks so much for the reply. I plan on pouring my everything into it this time. I want to succeed and I think this tool will help me greatly in adjusting my life to a health lifetime and enforce it long enough that it becomes a lifestyle and not just a diet.

I know my wife has to be sick of hearing me talk about it, so places like this forum are going to be great for me.

-Dwayne

Haha, I definitely fell into the "talk about it a lot" category, but managed to channel that to the forums so it became "post about it a LOT." Thankfully I managed to keep my talking about it to my parents and partners - and then it was mainly just when they had questions.

But, yes, when I felt the urge, I'd come to OH instead. :D

Welcome, Dwayne! I commend you for lurking and reading for a while before joining in! I know when I was pre-op I read through EVERY SINGLE post in the VSG forum. (I had more time in my life then....) I felt like the best informed pre-op ever. Of course, I still got thrown off by things post-op, so I tried not to be too ****y. Life never goes as expected, eh?

For me, what WLS did, was to give me the space I needed to be able to shore up my mental defenses. I highly recommend that you add a therapist to your "Team Dwayne" and work to address the mental side of obesity along with the physical stuff.

I get the choice to only tell a few select people pre-op :D I only told "the people who will care if they find out about my surgery when they get a call telling them I died." Yeah... I can be a bit morbid. This amounted to my partners, my parents, my brother (at my parents' insistence, he's weird about challenging things so I hadn't planned to tell him prior), my three best friends, and then my massage therapist and my voice teacher because surgery/recovery was going to impact those things. For me, I knew that I didn't want to deal with people trying to talk me out of it.

My surgery was in March and I think I told everyone in July. And by "telling everyone" I mean that I posted it on Facebook. I had told my local friends in the meantime, but July was the point when I felt strongly that "oh, this is working" and "it's not like anyone can talk me out of this now!" I was going to be seeing a lot of my long-distance friends at a convention in August, and I know from past experience that it's a gossiping point when a person loses a lot of weight. I was also concerned, since my dad had cancer and I was very open about this with my friends, that someone might switch things in their brain and maybe associate "someone in Gwen's life has cancer, she's lost a lot of weight, OMG DOES SHE HAVE CANCER?!" So at that point, full disclosure was the way to control gossip and to ensure my friends knew that I was okay. The responses I got to my disclosure were astoundingly positive and my friends have given me so much support and cheering over these last 2.5 years that they've known.

Anyway... welcome :D

Hi Gwen,

I already have a therapist on my team now. I have had her for several months now. I think it is having a therapist that has allowed me to realize how much help I need and allow myself to get surgery.

I think I will probably tell people as they notice and ask, but it is not something I am going to trumpet around like I have in the past.

Thanks for the warm welcome and kind words,

Dwayne

Dwayne,

I share your exact same story - I'm a pro at losing weight - keeping it off is my downfall. I started again on my "diet" in Jan. 2016 and lost 50 lbs., but then it started creeping back. I made the decision to get the surgery to put an end to the yo-yo. Yes, I know we can put weight back on, but my main problem was a hunger issue, as I was always starving. Glad to report that now, that is gone!!!!

I was very nervous too going into surgery. Yes, everyone has a different experience, but I can say, even with a hiatal hernia repair at the same time, it was really no big deal. It is a major and life-altering surgery, but stressing myself about it was far worse than the actual surgery/recovery. I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I have told only 3 people because of the same reasons as you. I really don't want to keep having my weight/weight loss be a topic and people watching me eat. My daughter and her husband, and my best friend are the only ones that know. I only feel bad because my best friend gets hammered with questions but she said she is fine with it and supports me 100%.

Though only 5 weeks out, I am already loving this journey. It's important to set goals, not just about weight loss, but an all around healthier lifestyle. I told myself at the end of my 4th week I would hire a trainer and I start tomorrow. At 6 months, I told my daughter we would hike the Grand Canyon together. It's baby steps, but I feel important to always have some type of goal to work toward and once reached, set another.

Wishing you the best and have no doubt you will do great. Keep your eye on the prize!

Hey, thanks for the reply!

I know what you mean by setting goals. I have already planned a hike in Acadia Park as our vacation for the year in July. One thing I found out through my weight loss attempts in the past is that I love to hike. I think my hiking vacations are something I am really looking forward to, and my overall goal is to hike to Machu Picchu. I am also really looking forward to riding a roller coaster with my son, which I have never been able to do at this point.

I am definitely nervous, but very very hopeful which is a feeling I have no had in a long time.

-Dwayne

I'm a pro loser too having also lost well over 100 pounds 3 times. I've never kept it off, which led me to this surgery. I just couldn't bring myself to lose it again knowing I had such miserable odds of keeping it off (around 2% current thinking says).

One thing I struggle with as a former pro loser is knowing what "healthy losing" looked like for me before (eating 1500 calories, lots of veggies) and what I can eat now. It feels wrong somehow to eat pretty much just protein and around 650 calories. But I know that's just how this works. I think once the scale starts moving again after this week 3 stall, I will be able to see it working and that might reinforce that "different" isn't "wrong." In the meantime, there is a slight mourning going on for the quantities I used to be able to eat and the variety. So I try to remember that while it always worked for a while (sometimes over a year), I could never keep it up for maintenance. Hopefully this I will be able to.

Congratulations Dwayne for beginning this amazing journey!

Most of us here have fought the fight that you have and are now successful with our tool. Remember to sip lots of water and to walk that gas out of you in the hospital. Water is #1 priority and then think about protein shakes etc.

Best wishes for a great surgery and I can't wait to see you on the loser's bench!

-Jan