Lack of support from spouse.

I'm going to ask a question that is very unpopular among children.  Do you have to have cheesecake bites in the house?  I notice that when I have snacks that kids don't need in the house, they become snacks that I don't need -- and my addiction makes it difficult to abstain 100% of the time.  Kids around here dig sugarfree popsicles.  It's a treat for them and bad for no one.  (well, except for the artificial sweetener which is an entirely different conversation)

I couldn't agree with you more! We have NEVER bought cheesecake bites! I was shocked when the hubby came home with them the other night, totally randomly. He thinks he is doing something nice for them I guess, but one of the 3 didn't even like them...thereby leaving more for me to struggle with. If it were up to me, they would never have left the store....... :/

You could have thrown them away after everyone had one or two?  

I know I pulled the rug out from under my family but I feel like my health was far more important than their perceived need for crap food.

I had a talk with each of them (husband, son (15), mother in law) and explained how it was going to be from now on. 

No longer will I cook separate meals. Eat what I eat or make your own. 

I will not shop for pasta/crackers/chips/potatoes/starches of any kind. If you want those things, buy them yourself. 

I dont eat fast food anyway so not a temptation so I will occasionally treat my son. 

Results?  My husband has lost 40 lbs.  My son 11.  My mother in law 9 lbs and her a1c is considered normal and her dr said her diabetes is well under control. 

We (as humans) need to get out of the mind set that we need food that doesn't fuel our body. I believe teaching that to our kids and family as a whole is one of the greatest gifts we can give them. After all, wouldn't it be wonderful if they never had to experience life as an obese person?

Stay strong sister. 

Well said, point taken, and I appreciate the feedback and support. Great job getting your whole family on board and healthier! I will take this to heart and follow your lead! :)

Yup, ditto.  

I will make plain carbs like roasted potatoes, pasta, or rice, because those things are easy, but I will not cook separate meals.  They can get stuff I don't cook when we eat out or they can go to the store themselves, etc.  

Chances are the things that are unhealthy for me are unhealthy for others in my household as well.  

My hubby was pretty supportive but we don't have kids. In the early phases I would just fix him a dinner and drink my protein. My friends were very understanding when we would go out and I would get just soup. Later on, when I could have more normal meals, I would make chicken and veggies with a larger portion for him and maybe a baked potato or some other carbs that I skipped.  He is now sleeved too which makes it easier.  Must be hard to fix food for picky kids and keep your own plate healthy.  gl  Diane S

My DH wasn't great at first.  Now, he's starting to notice that I am feeling better.  I have not fought with him over food, however.  When I was early out, like you are, he did some of the cooking for himself and the kids, but I made sure that before I went in for WLS, I had some not so healthy, but easy and fast meals for one of us to cook.  I would cook a meal for DH and kids, and I would have my broth, pureed, soft foods.  Essentially, I was cooking two meals...one for them, one for me.   

DH's main concern at first was that he would have to start eating things that he didn't like because I would get tired of cooking two meals.  I felt strongly about my diet decisions, but I wasn't going to make those diet decisions for my husband.  I told him that it wouldn't happen.  One thing I did do, to kinda get the fam on board...I started cooking a little differently, even made less food, as my portions were more than cut in half.  Now, DH has lost weight, we have healthier foods in the house, but I don't make them do without things that they may love.

For example....I still fix mac and cheese and mashed potatoes.  I just do not partake.  Neither does he.  Having some things in the house is hard, but you have to get the head on board with the new pouch.  You have to be able to tell yourself no.  Right now, you're going through a lot of changes, and so is he.  I'm sure he's feeling concern for you.  

The farther out you get, the better he will be.  I do a fine job of telling my kids no, not buying treats that they shouldn't have.  They don't NEED cookies, sweets, etc.  It's a rare occasion for them to get those kinds of things.  We have more fruit than anything else.  Everyone in the house is starting to actually feel better and have more energy.  I'd say it's a win.

Now....DH was less than supportive to start with, but he's on board now.  He still does like to have a breaded pork chop on occasion, and I let him.  

There's no need to feel alone in your journey.  Everyone at OH wants to see you succeed. 

Thank you for your great post! And support. I prefer not to stock the house with a lot of the sugary, processed and unhealthy treats. I am going to have to have that conversation with him soon.........thanks again!

My boyfriend was totally against me having surgery at all.  But I was determined and stood my ground.

After surgery, he made it difficult for me... ordering pizza, picking up McDonald's, etc.  After a while though, he let up because he saw I was not giving in. 

I had such determination back then... wish I could get that attitude back again. 

I'm sure things will improve for you... maybe your husband just needs time to adjust.  Hang tough!!