Lack of support from spouse.

Anyone else have a less than supportive spouse? I am on nearly 4 weeks of liquid only. Had to go back when I had a bad reaction to mushies. I asked hubby to hide some little cheesecake bites that we had for the kids, and he pretty much exploded. Clearly there are  other issues going on I guess.....sad, feeling alone in my journey. Glad to have others to share with that understand what I'm going through. 

Stay strong 

I don't have a spouse but I can imagine that this is a big adjustment for the whole family so just try to stay strong and stay focused on your journey.

Are you able to hide them yourself?  

Have you considered couples counseling?

Hi there!  Sorry you have a less than supportive spouse but hopefully he will adjust.  The surgery is still really new and it can take some time for everyone in your family to adjust to the "new" you and your food choices.  My husband has been very supportive of me through the process BUT he and his sons did not want to change the way they eat.  Even though we have a really good relationship, we did get into a number of fights about food after my surgery. I remember one of the BIGGEST meltdowns I had was when he wanted me to go pick up fast food for their dinner and I caved and went but the smell of the fries in the car sent me into a huge meltdown and I blamed him for it.  It took a while for both of us to compromise.  He had to realize that I wasn't going to be so eager to go get fast food or pick up pizzas for dinner anymore.  Before surgery, I was more than willing because I would usually order extra and sneak eat some food in the car on the way home. After surgery, that was no more and my husband didn't understand why I didn't want to go anymore.  I also had to compromise and realize that I signed up for the surgery but he and the kids didn't.  I appreciate the support he was able to give but I couldn't be black and white about the food in the house or what everyone was going to eat. 

I feel like Communication is key to keeping your relationship healthy in this process.  The stats aren't great on relationships after WLS so it's definitely a challenge but if you are both in and work at it, things can get better. 

Thanks for the positive support everyone.

We have been in counseling for the past couple of years. I guess it feel bad because there were other challenges we faced as a couple, but I felt we faced them together. This time I feel really alone. Mine was a revision surgery, so we went through this whole thing in 2012 and it seemed like he was a lot more supportive the first time around. Anyway, it's just a reflection of where our relationship is now I guess.

We will continue counseling and I will face my journey alone and be strong. Those are my only options, so it is what it is. I guess I was just venting my sadness that things can't be different and our communication is so broken down.  

Thank you for all of the supportive messages and suggestions. It's well appreciated and helps to know there are others out there with similar experiences.

I know it's always nice to have support, but sometimes there are things that have to be done - for yourself.  Your health, your quality of life, etc. you own all those things...and owe it to yourself to take care of those issues.  Don't be sad about doing it alone, but happy that you have this option.  

I have some people who support but some family members who don't support me.  In the end i'd rather be happy with myself, than surrounded by people but be miserable with myself.

Stay focused.  You owe it to yourself to make the most of this opportunity.

Hugs OOXOXO

Thanks Skinny_gigi, I know you are 100% correct!

I don't have a spouse but have dealt with unsupportive people. 

Build a strong support network with friends who do support you. I met so many ppl here that I met in real life that were instrumental in my progress for the first few years. Now I have a great support network through OA and I don't think I could do it alone. 

I think the most challenging part is that he has been through his journeys (drinking problem, weight loss) and I feel like I was tremendously supportive and a partner to him. We have been married 23 years and have 3 kids - two in elementary and one in middle school - so there is a lot on our plate and I know it's difficult that I have to take things a little more slowly now. Our relationship was already strained and I just don't want this to be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

@Cassss6969 - saw your brief message last night and those two words were so powerful, it made me feel strong and hopeful. Thank you! 

@kyzze - thanks for your support!

@Gwen - I hid them myself, and later noticed he must have hid them even better. He did apologize last night but I wasn't ready and needed to sleep on it. I reached out to our therapist to set up a joint session this week, and hope we can work on communicating better with each other, because just like @KittyKaren said, communication is ABSOLUTELY key. Thank you!

@KittyKaren - Fast food would be really difficult! I am trying help with meal prep, but since having to go back to full liquids, I am having a difficult time stilling through meals. Last night, my son said he missed me at the table because "no one really talks." Which broke my heart, and is one of the issues I have with my hubby - he is often just generally disengaged. I'm glad you put your foot down and said no more to the fast food delivery service! That was smart and strong. Tonight, I will be strong and eat dinner with the family (even if mine is just strained soup!) for the sake of my kids having a fun and bonding family dinner experience. I need to be strong for them and for me!