HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIDDDEEE!
This is exactly the problem I had over there . Exactly.
ISO ... New "clique" members. You must be kind, warm, welcoming, honest, intelligent, and have a sense of humor. The words "shamed" or "victim" can not be in your regular vocabulary. Sarcasm is welcome (and wanted!), but cruelty is not. You must not be a coddler or a shamer. All members are free to classify themselves as vets, newbies, grasshoppers or anything else they desire.
I enjoy long walks on the beach, puppies, sunsets and taking off my bra as I pull in the driveway. If you are like minded, you are in!
And remember, we are ALL worthy of love, humor, and dignity.
I started a new group here for my old BP friends and any new friends who have a sense of humor. Link to join:
It might be better to get know all of us before you come in and tell us not to badger you or anyone else. Your post assumes wrongdoing on our part. It's a bit like going to someone's house and rearranging their furniture while telling them their feng shui is bad.
I fight badgers with spoons.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Suicidepreventionlifeline.org
It might be better to get know all of us before you come in and tell us not to badger you or anyone else. Your post assumes wrongdoing on our part. It's a bit like going to someone's house and rearranging their furniture while telling them their feng shui is bad.
My apologies if that's the way I came across. That wasn't my intention. I was speaking of personal experience and how easily things can be misinterpreted.
HI ALL! New here from BP. Little about me.....I am 37 (38 next month ugh!) I had my sleeve done Aug 25, 2016 and am now approx 20 lbs from my goal given by my doc. 35lbs from personal goal. When i tell my family I want to lose that much still they reply with "FROM WHERE!?". Well I still see myself as fat when I look in the mirror. Its funny, when I WAS fat ( and i mean FAT), I didnt think I was near as large as I was. It wasnt until I seen a photo taken of me from my daughters bday party that I realized I had to do something about my "situation". I was utterly disgusted with what I seen. I cried and asked my very handsome husband why and how he stayed with me. I was always a skinny person until my dad passed 5 years ago. I fell into a food fueled depression and that is all she wrote. I think I am a slow loser but when I look for reassurance on discussion boards I find that I am similiar in stats to people with my starting stats. That makes me feel better. I am easily discouraged! If i hit a stall (right now) I convince myself that the sleeve stopped working and I am done losing weight. I look desperately for reassurance and validation at the same time. I have managed to stay true to my diet and have only had one planned cheat day this whole 4.5 months. I think that is pretty darned good. When i say i planned a cheat day, it was New years eve. I didnt drink at all but did eat some appetizers that werent on my plan. I had very little guilt about it but suffered greatly the next several days with cravings so i will not be doing that again. On to my name....I am a nurse....I am not ratchet....lol i just thought it was funny. :) With that said, on other forums people find out Im a nurse and want to inbox me all kinds of questions regarding their diet and surgery and side effects and exercise. I want to be clear that before this I have never even laid eyes on a bariatric patient. I know nothing more that what we were all taught during preop education. I knew what field I was going into so the one chapter we had on WLS in college was slept through. Im not trying to sound unapproachable. Please inbox anyitme, I am here to talk to others and learn and teach others. However, I dont know anything special that a normal wls patient would know. Sorry.......I value everyones opinion and honest feedback if they can deliver it in a polite way. Im all about tough love and real honest advice but do not badger me or others. Its uncecessary and I find myself getting overly defensive. With that said, Ive never had an issue with this.never cared what waht anyone said until a very good friend of mine lost her 19 year old daughter to suicide because of kids badgering her about stuff she did that she already knew was wrong. Do I think that everyone is going to make that decision if tormented? No,,,,,,however you dont know everyone and dont know the demons they suffer with so please be nice :)
This was a problem for me on BP. I go to overly sensitive and defensive. Sometimes I was in the wrong and sometimes I wasn't. The info given in the background of all of it was very helpful and true. I am learning to take what I need from the post and if there is something that rubs me wrong, leave it alone. It's a process so I still have "moments". With that said, I hope for a fresh start on here and to make friends with everyone to maximize what I can learn. I have a lot to learn from the surg vets and I can teach the newbies. I realized on BP that I was missing that vet advice and views after a handful of them were banned. Did I think some of the remarks were unecessary? Sure. I've voiced that for sure. But to ban them, took away from the site and was over the top.
anyway, I can't wait to hear your stories, successes and all about your journey!
if you don't want ppl asking for advice, you could keep your occupation to yourself.
Badgering is in the eye of the beholder.
I can only formulate a reply to the information given. If they don't like the response I give based on the input they give, that is not me badgering them, it is their inability to tolerate something they don't want to hear.
Oh brother.....I didn't say I don't like people asking. I simply said l, that I don't know any more than you. I worked my booty off for my title and proud of it. I'm not going to keep it private. I know that badger is in the eye of the beholder. That is exactly what I was saying. Maybe it didn't come across that way but that is what I meant.
Telling people how to post is extremely frowned upon here. Once you've been here for awhile you'll get the idea of how people post & respond to posts. As you said you get overly sensitive & defensive, that sounds like more of a problem on your side & not on the side of the people who post responses you might take a different kind of way.
Being "nice" is different to everyone, like I could take you telling me on how to post as not being "nice". Remember what is said on 1 end isn't always heard the same way on the other. 
No one surgery is better than the other, what works for one may not work for another.
T-Rebel
Lots of medical professionals here who are also vets, so I shouldn't worry about being inundated for your medical opinion.
It's a little rude to come to someone's house and start telling them you don't like the furniture and offering design advice. Sit down and enjoy the company!!!! Get to know everyone, the culture of the board, join in and you'll get on just fine. Forum nannies seldom do well here ...
Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist
