Sharing the news?

Very true. I've built the level of integrity with my team over years. Since I'm open to talking about it in the future, then what it really comes down to is a question of timing. Thanks for the advice!

The people I worked with were part of my group of friends.  My surgery was an adventure for all of us.  For me, it was like watching a pregnancy progress.  My friends understood why I could only eat small amounts and no longer bought me donuts at break time.

They watched the sizes go down and saw my health improve.  I don't believe I would have done as well if I was not open about my surgery.  Life has many different events and surgery was just my particular journey that year. 

I heard stories about people who had bad experiences and I determined to be the example of the person that surgery worked for.  I could have easily hidden my surgery, but am not sorry that I shared the experience with others.

I thought much like you when first thinking about who I told and who I didn't. Then, I said screw it and told everybody. I'm from a witty bitty small town and own a community-based business (a dance studio) and a lot of people at my day job have kids (or nieces, nephews, grandkids, etc) who dance with me. For me, it was just easier to tell everyone and let the gossip be the gossip. At least the gossip would have truth attached to it rather than it be that I had some sort of strange exotic flesh eating amoeba and I was going to die in 24 hours, and take the chance risking possible loss of business.

For me, I just endured the endless questioning for a few days and then it died down. The shiny wears off. Oh, yes, and endured all of the stuff as shared previously above....My favorite? "So, my mom did the complete bypass 10 years ago and you need to make sure to blah blah blah". Choose your battles, save your energy for the most important stuff...which is you!

S.

I'm not from a small town, but the company I work at is pretty small - small enough that word travels. I often have to manage how information percolates, or at least when it is released, which is probably why I'm overthinking this scenario a little bit. In the end, you are so right that this is really minor in the grand scheme. Thanks for the tips!

I told everyone at my work bc I took a month off and bc the dramatic weight loss that followed would have told them anyway. I have seen people at work who didn't tell anyone and most people figured it out anyway.   Of course it's a personal decision and people do it however it feels right to them 

Hi Everyone,

I had my sleeve about four years ago and thought I would share my thoughts on this topic. My surgery has been successful, and I have gained some weight back.

When I had the surgery, I used two weeks vacation for my absence and I don't remember say much about it; just disappeared for two weeks. If I remember correctly, I only told a few people. In retrospect, I am glad I didn't disclose or say much to others because 1) it's your life and 2) I was concerned if I gained the weight back I would have felt too much judgment from them. My fear was their judgment that even surgery didn't help me with my weight loss.

My weight gain is about 40 lbs from my lowest (160 lost), it still bothers me to deal with my own opinion that surgery didn't work as hoped. In actuality, it did. However, it still is painful thinking about the gain and the judgment from others. By the time I reached the end of year one, the weight loss was on autopilot; everything was working well. I found the subsequent years much harder with the weight loss.

As far as telling others...The truth is, I believe, I was too controlling and caring of other people opinions and should have just let it progress. One thing I am learning is people don't really care about me, so to speak, as much as my mind thinks. I believe they are just noticing a dramatic change and maybe happy for me, but I believe its curiosity and being nosy rather than caring. It's interesting how much my need for approval from others has diminished.

I wish all of you the very best in 2017 and achieving your goals!

Vsgman

Great advice. Thank you!!

As a leader of a team, if you keep this from them and it gets out, you can kiss your credibility goodbye.  Much of the team dynamic is built on the foundation of trust.  Don't let rumors and speculation take the show.  Share it, own it and trust that they will support you.  Who knows?  You may just inspire someone else.

Yes very true. That credibility was built over years, and it's not worth losing over a question of when to say something about it. Thank you!

I'm a team lead, have been for decades, and honestly don't agree with this statement: "...you can kiss your credibility goodbye". My personal life and my professional life are completely separate.  My health choices are private, personal, and no one's business save my own. They certainly have nothing to do with my credibility as an employee and leader. I don't lie about my surgery, but I felt - and still feel - no need to offer up the full details of my weight loss protocol in advance... any more than I felt a need to explain my weight GAIN over the past 15 years. Subsequently, very few people have inquired in any detail - bottom line, most people simply don't care that much about the details. They're happy for you if you're happy, but they have their own lives and issues to worry about. Yes, we lose weight fast, but not so fast that most people even notice for the first couple of months!

My stock reply on the extremely few occasions someone has pressed for more info: "I'm exercising more, and making wiser decisions about what I put into my mouth." And that's the absolute truth: ergo, no credibility to lose!!

Note that I was a comparative lightweight (stats are below), and was only off work for 10 days (counting a weekend).  And, yes, I did tell my then-boss the type of procedure I was getting (especially as she herself is morbidly obese and an intensely curious, observant  individual), but I also asked her not to spread the word around.

I honestly believe your co-workers and team-mates will not consider you a liar and a thief of their trust if you choose not to share the intimate details of your health choices with them. Some things are just private - or should be. And HIPAA made sure we (in the USA) have that privacy as a basic right - to prevent discrimination.

I've been very happy with my decision to keep the information limited to my family and my best friends... especially as my family (parents/siblings) was NOT supportive, and as a result I wound up delaying having it done for seven very long years - a decision I deeply do regret.

My two cents!