Secret Confession Time!

I don't do this much anymore due to lack of time, but while browsing in the malls - I used to try on fancy dresses in the normal section of the store. Not the plus size section.

Or going out to eat, I try to get in a booth. At 326lbs booths were a battle. Now they sure aren't!

I still have all of my jeans from when I was at goal before, and made my mom promise not to get rid of any of them when she had them.  They're skinnys, which I love.  I noticed my tummy is flattening back out very nicely.  And I'm wearing more jeans lately because they're not pinching and giving me a huge muffin top!

I didn't reach a goal weight, but I was 180 2 years out from surgery. I have 2 pair of my jeans! I wont donate them. I also have some shirts and a bathing suit that I rocked. I am determined.

I too feel myself up all the time just to feel the bones I never knew existed!  I'm totally uncomfortable unless my legs are crossed now.  And now I've started to pull the extra skin in different directions to see where I might be after plastics.

HIP BONES!  I tap on my hip bones, cos the only way I ever used to feel them was to lay on my belly and stretch my arms and chest up off the floor.

My secret confession is not a secret to my husband...LOL. I have a horrible time trusting what I see in the mirror. So I bug him to point out women who are the size I used to be and the size I am now so I can compare.

I also find myself checking the windows in the office to be sure I have not imagined the weight loss!

I have done the same thing with my husband! Which is difficult on him because he likes to still say things like, "you were never that big" when we both know fully well I WAS! But once I try and explain to him how I can not see myself the way others do I think he understood. I have also asked my daughter to do it a time or two. 

I always check out my bum (for the squat gainz) and my abs to make sure they are still there :)

I'm always feeling myself up! Collarbones, hip bones (they go really high on the sides, who knew?!), and most recently, I can feel a muscle on the backside of my thigh... where in the world did that come from?

I walk by windows, and I'm constantly sneaking a peak at myself.

I've taken to taking so many pictures of myself in front of my full length mirror... then I cover my face and get very critical with things (That should stop)

Every time I want to eat crap I poke my extra neck skin for motivation to not eat crap, ha.  There is sadly a lot.  I would get neck plastics now if I could.