Meh.

Congrats! 180 lbs is phenomenal! As far as the being single thing... I hear you. I've been single for over 12 years and haven't been on a single date in over 8 years (I'm 35). You aren't alone. I wish I had some advice for you on this, but I'm the wrong person to ask. I would just suggest trying to find your own happiness and don't wait for another person to validate your amazing life. I go on vacation alone every single time and I've learned to prefer it because I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Strange looks from other people be dammed. 

I second the idea of giving an online dating site a try. Gotta show up if you want to be seen kind of thing! Congrats on your awesome weightloss!!

I second the idea of giving an online dating site a try. Gotta show up if you want to be seen kind of thing! Congrats on your awesome weightloss!!

Hey dude. Don't give up. I didn't get married until I was 43 and met my husband at the gym where we were both fatties. Our nephew is 34 and had been looking to settle down for a long time. He just got engaged to a wonderful girl who is a little younger but perfect for him. They met on line dating - match.com I think. He lives in LA so its sometimes hard to meet people in such a huge city. 

Tell your friends you are on the look out. Lots of women are looking for a man who wants kids. Be open to any opportunity to meet people. Good luck. I have heard getting involved in political stuff is a good way to meet people. And congrats on your weight loss. Diane S

I guess I need to do more on the full disclosure end of things. 

34 and Gay. 

Thank you all for the comments I just replaced proper pronouns for a lot of these posts. 

I have been and am still on two dating sites. There have been a couple of hits and more than a few misses. Online dating seems to work better for me. Not really or ever have been a bar fly or club goer.

The worst aspects of the gay male community are also some of the worse aspects of humanity in general.

The hard part is finding someone who is okay with me, can love me, and accept me now along with the person that I will shrink into and eventually have excess skin removed.

I love the body I have shrunk into for the most part. The biggest thing I hate is my sagging skin on my arms, legs, and abdomen. I am so thankful for my health and the life I fought for from when I was 577 pounds.

Well, being gay is a complication on the child thing, but I have a long time gay friend and he adopted two boys from Cambodia. They are a great family and he has a partner.  So it can happen. Guess the same rules apply. I have a gay brother who has a very active social life though he lives in another city and not sure what his social habits are but he is always going to something that sounds like fun.  GL. Diane S

This information doesn't change a single word of what I wrote :)

The gay community is very hard with that, you are absolutely right.  I know exactly where you are coming from.  Having said that, there is still hope, even if it feels remote.  Many people in the queer community online date these days.   There are also many gay men in the same position you are in.  It may take a while, so I would encourage you to keep doing an awesome job taking care of yourself. :)  Keep meeting people and do not isolate.  Build a support network.  It may not be a significant other, however it will help you tremendously.

It's okay to be jealous and cynical and angry.  It is only not okay to let that stop you from doing things.

34 is young for a guy to still have kids.  Now most people are having children at 35+.  I actually know many couples who had children at 40 and over. Many professional women don't even start getting pregnant until 38 or later these days.  Also, there is nothing worse than having children in a bad relationship.  Well, maybe nuclear warfare, and possibly vegemite, are worse. 

I am in the same boat.  I'm 39 post divorce.  I have lost about 450 pounds and am also still single.  It is very hard because I am also, likely infertile.  I have decided to adopt once my practice gets started.  I have not written kids out of my life just yet.  I'm honestly not worried about it. I worried for quite some time, don't get me wrong.  Still at 300ish with endocrine issues makes fertility unlikely.  I will not let that stop me.  When the moment is right I will have children.  Even if they are not biologically mine, they will be mine.

I, too, am often a malcontent and jealous cynic.  I, too, have a really hard day more than once a month.  Everyone also wants to be with others, too, and there is nothing wrong with that.  I then remember that the way we attract others is by living live and by being the people we want in it.  I would suggest still going on your trip to Toulouse.  Even without a significant other it will have meaning and joy.  Is it the same?  No!  It can't replace one either.  

I have found a very satisfying and happy life single post-op.  Everything is not perfect, however I am content for now.  If love happens it will happen.  If it doesn't, it doesn't!  I'm gonna adopt anyway, eventually! Of course, adoption is not for everyone.  However, what I am getting at, is there are options and possibility everywhere.  It requires you and I both keep on going even when we don't want to.