Feeling like a Failure

It's been awhile since I've posted anything here. I have been feeling like a complete failure these days. I have the "I don't care anymore" attitude which I hate. I have been a very very slow loser since the beginning. My SW was 238 on 03/10/16 and today almost 6-7 months out I weighed in at 190. This is so discouraging to me. I haven't even been taking my vitamins like I should. I'm beginning to make poor eating choices because I think what's the point of doing everything right if I'm not losing anyway. I need some encouragement at this point to just keep moving forward. Thanks for reading my rant.

Well I think 50 pounds in 6-7 months is still way better than I ever managed before surgery, so I think you're great.  And it IS loss.  It might not be as fast as you want and, seriously, when do any of us lose weight as fast as we want to?  

You need to get back on track.  Not tomorrow, but right now.  Make yourself a plan to take your vitamins and plan your meals out for the next few days.  I also really recommend that you find a therapist to talk with about your feelings of failure and your desires to self-sabotage.  

You CAN do this!  

First, a great big cyber hug! Next, let me help you see what you HAVE accomplished. Your ticker shows a starting weight of 265. That means you are down just shy of 75 pounds overall. That is really fantastic. Even if that has taken you a year, who cares? That is an awesome weight loss. 

I'm going to share my thinking with you. Take what you like. Leave what you don't....

Let's take a look at the behavior that might be contributing to your feelings. Taking vitamins is a no brainer! Just do it. You will feel better and taking vitamins is such an easy thing to do. You will also feel better knowing you are doing something positive for yourself and with the proper micro nutrients you may actually start to feel better physically and emotionally. So step #1 - take your vitamins. 

If you are anything like I am, when you begin to make poor eating choices you also stop really tracking your food intake with fidelity. You may guess a bit or estimate, but the drive for accuracy and accountability wanes with the poor choices. So, as grueling as it can be when you are in a funk, weigh, measure and track what you are eating. I don't particularly care if you get back on track today or tomorrow or next week. What I want you to do is be accountable to yourself for you food intake.

One thing I have learned since my VSG is that to maintain over the long haul willpower is not enough. There are underlying reasons we go off track. Willpower has been studied and found to be a limited resource. Because of that we have to start looking at how to reprogram our thinking. A good way to start, IMO, is looking at what you're doing right now and accepting it without judgement and condemnation. As obese people we often think we must be perfect on a "diet" or else we are failures. That all or nothing thinking won't get you anywhere in the long run.

You are a work in progress - just like everyone else on this board! Change is difficult. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Do not expect perfection. Instead expect the best that you are able to do each day. Your best will be a little different each day, too. That's okay. So, if you can commit to taking your vitamins and being 100% honest with yourself about your eating today, you will be doing great. Do that and you will be able to look at the clear path before you instead of looking at the mess you believe you've left behind you. 

Im new to this as well but speaking on my personal experiences... DONT GIVE UP! I caught that same attitude, and I ended up gaining back about 20 pounds. We are our greatest enemies you know. Stick with your meal plans and the weightloss will follow. I stopped counting and tracking my meals and I fell completely off track. Trust me its harder once you start to re-gain!! Im finding that talking to people helps, its like a form of therapy and by the end of the convo you might just blurt out what you've been needing to hear all along! I was sleeved on 2/19/15 around February of this year I'd reached my surgeon's goal for me which was 180. Today as we speak in currently 204lbs, and I know that I cant blame anyone but myself! I had a breakup and a job loss right after moving out of my parents house, so lifes stressor**** me hard!!! I turned to sweets, abd reverted to eating fatty foods. Im currently working on not only trying to burn the regain fat, but to also reach my goal, and learn how to maintain a healthy lifestyle! Dont be like me!! You're at an early stage and you're doing great so far! Stick with it. Trust me the hunger will eventually come back so its better that you keep yourself focused now, so that later down the line your habits are great, and you'll maintain good! Stalls are gonna come and go throughout this process, but dont let them get to you. Stay on track.. you've come to far to turn back!!

A quote from "Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life" by Eric Greitens. This is a book of letters from an ex-Navy Seal to a friend who was having problems adjusting to "normal" life again after serving in the war. Greitens' advice about being resilient in the face of adversity is applicable to everyone in every aspect of life. Here's what he writes about failure:

"You will fail. Especially in the beginning. You will fail. And that's not just OK, it's essential. Without resilience, the first failure is also the last--because it's final. Those who are excellent at their work have learned to comfortably coexist with failure. The excellent fail more often than the mediocre. They begin more. They attempt more. They attack more. Mastery lives quietly atop a mountain of mistakes. The exceptional artist throws away hundreds of photographs. The exceptional writer wears out the eraser....What distinguishes the exceptional from the unexceptional? A willingness to fail, and an exceptional ability to learn from every failure [italics mine]."

Dear BeautifulMe, don't dismiss as nothing what you've already accomplished. And don't let your current failure be your last failure. All of us fail. Welcome to the club! As kairk said, analyze what's not working for you right now, and make changes that will set you up for success, even if it's a slow ounce-by-ounce success. The hare and the tortoise both get to the finish line. It's not important who gets there first. Good luck!

psychoticparrot

Get back on the wagon as many times as you need. It's easy to get overwhelmed but def keep going. I had an awful surgery experience and was so scarred by it I had trouble from the start but everyday I try. Inspirational quotes and pictures have helped me alot personally.

Try to focus on your non scale victories. Like how many dress sizes have you lost? How do you feel physically? Are you able to move around easier? Are your medical stats improving?

I lost really fast in the first two months and it kind of freaked me out as I had a difficult time coming to terms with it mentally. I also had little energy. Now that I'm losing more slowly, my energy has come back.

The emotional side of this is as hard, of not harder than the physical. You are doing great! Congratulate yourself for getting this far!

LIsa