Family&friends keep saying you can do it with out

I agree with some,  it is your decision for sure.  Also yes we could do this the "Natural Way" because we have done so well with that in the past.  NOT!!  This is NOT the easy way out as many would think.  This is hard work!!!   I am 6 plus years out and to this day the only people who know about this is my husband and 3 adult sons and my daughter-in-law and they have been very supportive and helped me keep my secret.  I knew that I would only hear many say don't do it!!!  Also when and if you do gain an ounce then the beating commences.  I was not going to let anyone influence my decision for what I felt was the only chance to get out of my 242 lb unhappy body.  I was ready for the good, bad and ugly of WLS.  I couldn't possibly be any more unhappy, unhealthy, unattractive, inactive, checked out of life, with WLS,  so I went for it. 

It was and is the best decision I have ever made for myself.  I say "F" all those who are sharing that "psychobabble" they are spewing and for your sake quit talking about you and keep your conversations about the weather and what is happening in your community, or your kids, the sports,  etc.  and go on about your business privately,  and if they ask you how your weight loss is coming .... you're doing well,  I am eating less,  taking vitamins,  walking,  you know all those things that help anyone lose weight.  It isn't any of their business what, when and how you are doing it. 

Good luck with this journey and hope this helps you deal with unwanted advise.  Just my opinion and everyone has a path in life and no one should feel they need to help us turn down a road that isn't on our map.

Just to add my 2 cents......I have to agree with what you are being told here.....it's YOUR decision - only YOU can determine what is best for your mind, emotions, head and health. One of the reasons I also decided to not share my decision with most others is that I didn't want the constant harassment of being told what I should and shouldn't do, how they did it, how their friends did it, etc.

As someone said, set your boundaries and hold them fast. If anyone asks why, what, how or when, just ask them why they need to know. Usually that will get them to stop hounding you.....if that doesn't work, just tell the person that you prefer to keep those discussions to being between yourself and your MEDICAL TEAM OF PROFESSIONALS WHO KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. (sorry for the caps).

I also revised from a band that was becoming problematic, but not to the extent that you've dealt with......sorry you've had to go through that. There are days I feel like maybe I made a mistake, but in truth those are not only few and far between, but they are on those days when I am going to some kind of event and worry that I won't be able to eat the way I used to......then I quickly realize that is why I needed to make the changes in my life and that I am far, far better off now than I was before. No matter what you do, always keep in mind that you will get your utmost best support right here with people who are in the same boat.

Hi Yendi,

Your message really stirred up feelings for me wrt the arm-chair experts who all have an opinion.

I don't think anyone can imagine how painful it is to be obese - both the physical limitations, and the psychological stress - In this society where a metabolic problem is considered a character flaw!  And then someone who has no understanding of the situation can come along and tell you how you should manage your obesity.  arg!

The first person I told, responded. "If you just stopped that low-carb diet and ate more veggie and fruits, you wouldn't need surgery."  Right!  what great wisdom and experience was she using as a basis for this "advice?" 

If you could lose the weight on your own, without surgery, it would have happened already.  I'm sure you are determined and would have succeeded already if it was possible. 

I tried to do it on my own for almost 40 years and the end result was 385 pounds and a BMI of 60.  Now I'm 162 pounds with a bmi of 24.  I'm 3.5 years post op and I've been maintain near goal for over 2 years.  There is no way I could have done this without surgery.

In my opinion, obesity is a disease and WLS is a treatment that works.  It doesn't cure it, but it makes it manageable.  It doesn't make it easy but it makes it possible.

Don't let anyone talk you out of it.

best wishes,

Carol

 Where do I even begin! Nothing but gratitude! For the wisdom, guidance and care!   Every single message I received has been taken to heart and I will move forward with your wisdom and input.  Sometimes we just need some support and firm push in the right direction !!!  Ladies thank you so very much so thrilled I found this board! 

I feel your pain.  My sister is a size 2 or 0.  She tells me all the time that there is no need to have surgery.  Just stop eating so much and workout.  She is also the kind of person that checks in at the gym 6 days a week on Facebook and talks about how blessed she is.

Funny thing she is a smoker and can't quit.  I tried to explain that her addiction to nicotine is similar to my addiction to food.  Since she is not trying to quit smoking she just says she does not understand.  Either way we go round and round.

Family is tough.  They all have opinions but they have never walked in our shoes.  Do it for you and make it happen on your terms.

Jeremy

 So true!