Messed up big time

How did you do today?

I did great today. I stayed focused.

Breakfast, Lunch, Snack had protein shakes

Dinner baked cube steak with a little less sodium brown gravy little cheese and cottage cheese.

Got in 11 cups water. still going. Didn't think about food today.

I have a sprained ankle so did chair exercise.

I agree with all the posters that suggest you get some mental health therapy. Unless we deal with the WHY in terms of our eating, we don't have much chance at being successful. 

I had a 90lb regain and decided to get involved with Overeaters anonymous. Not only have I lost almost all of the regain, my life has changed sooooo much for the better. If you'd like to know more, send me a PM. 

I am going to check out Overeaters Anonymous. Please tell me more. Thank you.

You said a lot in 10 short sentences.  Self blame.  Depression.  Weight regain. Guilt over a relationship. Loss of sex drive.  Seeking help. You are pretty tuned in.  I encourage you to seek medical help.  I would ask for at least a thyroid function, testosterone levels and maybe a sleep study.  There are so many reasons for depression and it is nothing to fool around with.  Psych meds can be at least a short term fix to allow your to work on long term solutions.  If everything medically checks out maybe you will be able to focus more on therapy.  I also am finding material / podcasts from overeater anonymous very helpful.  You have a lot going on and you are not alone. 

I was told my thyroid is fine. I do have more testosterone then most women because I have PCOS. I had sleep apena but it went away. I have always been an emotional eater. I had a few events happen to me that is why I am on depression meds. I have tried therapy nothing.

Talk therapy is not for everyone.  Maybe time for Med adjustment if current dose is not effective. 

Well everyone tomorrow is the day I'm starting over. I can and will do this. I am also going to call a therapist in the morning that specializes in helping people with there food problems. I think I'm also going to look into eaters anonymous also. The emotional eating is what I have to control. I can do this and I will. My goal is to be at my goal weight by next summer. I'm back up to 250lbs want to be at 190lb. What's sad is I was 287 when I had surgery in 2015. Its time to say Goodbye bad food hello healthy food.

I learned to "start over" my next meal... Not "a next day" or "tomorrow" ..right there... At the moment when I realize I am off track - I put myself back on track.  I don't wait till "tomorrow" , Monday, next month.. Etc. That how I used to be before WLS.. Not it is "right now- today"... That way I have no excuses, but results. 

One day at a time - one meal at a time.