How you overcame your fear of surgery?

Good morning / evening everyone.

I would like to express my fear and concern over VSG. I am dedicated to having it done on the 6th of August 2016, but as the day gets closer and closer, I feel more afraid of the surgery. I am so scared to screw something up post surgery, how do you know when you've eaten enough? How do you know if you've damaged something? How do you know if your surgery is leaking (Which I hear is a very serious issue). For me, I have never had a surgery before, so my fear of having half my organ removed is natural. But if anyone has any reassuring news or advice, tips, stories or experiences; Please share them with me. I can tell you this though, no matter what happens or how afraid I am, I will NOT back down from the surgery.

For me, my resolve to have the surgery comes from my depressed state of mind. I am sick of looking at myself in the mirror. I am tired of people judging me by my outer appearance, although I do my best to dress good, look good. My failed marriage is also another big reason for me doing my surgery. I want to add more years to my life, I want to walk lighter feel lighter and stop sweating as much as I do.

Please help 

Best regards,

First, let me just say that you are in good company here! Your thoughts and concerns are/were shared by just about all of us - it's a scary thing and anxiety is totally normal.  My best advice is for you to read as many older posts as you can and see what others have shared about concerns and how to deal with it, as well as their stories.  I feel that the more informed you are, the less freaked out you'll be.  The person who posted right after you just shared what an easy surgery he/she had (yay!).

I felt very much like you before my surgery a couple of years ago.  Depressed, frustrated, tired, feelings of failure because I couldn't fix this by myself.  My surgery was super-easy - I've had dental work that was more icky than this surgery.  Mine was outpatient, so no hospital stay.  I had the usual post-op discomfort (soreness), but they give you pain meds so that was no problem.  I took it easy for a few weeks just to let my body heal, but felt very well the whole time and was able to get back to my daily life pretty fast (with naps now and then).

Don't worry about the post-op stuff - your doctor's office will give you loads of information about all that, as well as a very specific eating plan for each stage of recovery.  The mantra around here immediately post-op is "sip sip sip, walk walk walk" so memorize that one! :)

Congratulations on your new beginning - it sounds like you deserve it! Fire away with any questions you have, and I'm sure you'll find many people jumping in to help.

Thank you very much for your reassuring words. Regardless of how nervous or freaked out I feel, I will go through with this no matter what. It's good to know that I have moral support here. One more question, usually how long before I can resume work. See I work in an airport environment where I am required to give training and lectures and On job training. On a normal day I walk anywhere between 7 to 12 km a day and I am standing on my feet for very long periods of time. It's also very hot where I am from. I'm concerned about dehydration and not being able to get the nutrition I require when I am on the job and lack of energy. As for my time off work, I have 2 weeks of no training - that is when I scheduled the surgery as to not clash with my work. How would I go about doing this? My goodness, I have about a million and one questions! When you sip sip sip, how big or little should you sip sip sip =( I'll make a bigger effort to browse through the forums though.

Thank you very much again =( I know I sound very very nervous which is usually not me - even though I'm currently over weight I do have a lot of confidence usually... usually.

Again, thank you!

It's hard to say when you can resume work since it's sounds like your job is fairly strenuous with all that walking.  Two weeks is probably fine, but try to build in some rest periods so you don't wear yourself out and impact the healing process.  In regard to sipping, your body will tell you how big a sip to take - it will be very small initially but gets easier over time.  Since the sips are so small at first, you have to do it all day long to get enough water, which is why we say sip-sip-sip. :)  That's really the most important thing at first - stay well hydrated.  I've seen so many posts from people who became dehydrated, felt awful, and ended up in the ER for fluids.  Hang in there - it will be fine! :)

Hi Khalid

For me, it was actually pretty simple. My back story may scare you, but it should not. I first heard about weight loss surgery after my brother had Open RNY in 2002 (I think) and died 3 days later in the hospital. The reason to this day I do not know. I wont ask my father about it, he was distraught over it.

I took to the internet at the time to look up my brother, as we had fallen out of communication due to a falling out between him and my father. I found this site and began to research when I was in college, as I was already morbidly obese.

Roads did not bring me to getting surgery at that time, but I ended up back here within the last 6 months and have had surgery since then. 

I was understandably nervous, but I have had surgery before and while the VSG does remove your organ, those kinds of surgeries happen all the time. Gall bladder.. appendix... VSG... The rate if issue now days is so much smaller than it used, I imagine due in large part of surgeries being laparoscopic versus the open route.

My breaking point is I have been doing all the diets, working out, medical weight loss, etc and I kept putting the weight back on. I am freshly married (now 2 years) and want a family. I want to keep up with my children. I want to outlive my parents. 

That meant I needed to load the odds in my favor for weight loss, and I felt due to some individuals on this page and online that I could do just that by adding this tool to my life.

As for eating enough, I get the full sensation still in addition to feeling hungry. I dont really ever feel thirsty, which I dont really like. I have to remind myself to drink.

Leaks happen, but theyre not too common from my understanding. Talk to your potential surgeons, ask them their rates for complications, leaks, strictures, deaths, etc. Get all the facts and use to make your determination. My surgeon had two deaths and zero leaks.

If you have any other questions feel free to reply or message me, I am more than happy to answer

Chris

Like you, I have never had surgery before. Its scary to think about!

I am still preop as well so I don't have much advice. The one thing I know that might comfort you is the worry of leaks. You will likely have a "leak test" before you are allowed anything even water, and that will help the Doctors determine if you have any or are prone to leaks!

Congrats on taking this journey....it's a very brave thing to do!

Fear is natural.  What i did was weight and measure everything.  I still do.  I track in my fitness pal.  The nerves in your stomach are cut so the full feeling is not to be trusted.  Early on you will not be able to eat very much.  Concentrate on fluids and walking.  Your body will use fat stores for energy supply.  If you are more nervous (normal) the day of surgery, tell your nurse and ask for something for anxiety.  Most places will give you something as soon as your paperwork is signed.  Seek help for your depressed state of mind.  Surgery will make it easier to lose the weight but it can't fix our minds.  Focus on a healthy life both mentally and physically will help on your journey.

Hi,

I sure can relate to fear of surgery.  I postponed my surgery until I was 63, and nearly 400 pounds.  I could see my life being a downward spiral of less and less mobility, more and more isolation leading to an early death.  I had to do something even if it was risky.

It turns out the surgery was such a non-issue.  I had little pain, no nausea thanks to the strong anti-nausea drugs I requested.  I had a headache and felt achy and tired - like I had the flu for a few days.  But by day 5, I was back to normal.  I was tired and needed long naps for a few months, but other than that I was doing fine. 

On the bright side, the anesthesia is much better than when I was young.  If you are in decent health, the WLS is not very risky.  Leaks are serious but not that common.  Most likely, you will come thru it just fine.

I do want to add that it wasn't easy -- its a lot to go thru, but it was always manageable.  I found the process of getting accustomed to my new tummy to be the harder part.  It took months to feel "normal" again.  It was probably 8 to 10 months post surgery before I felt like - "Yeah, I could live like this the rest of my life and it would be ok." That's a long time thinking that this is not that!

But it is so worth it.  WLS doesn't make it easy.  But it makes it possible.  You can do this.  Try to put your fears aside and keep you eye on the long run.  I lost 225 pounds and went from a 5x to a size 14.  I lost 98% of my excess body weight and have been maintaining for nearly 2 years.   It is so worth it.

You have to make a commitment to follow the program.  You can defeat yourself if you don't keep to the plan.  But if you do, you'll have all you want and deserve.  We all deserve good health, and the WLS makes it possible.

Carol

I haven't had my surgery yet.  Haven't even had the consult.  I am just getting the process started.

As far as the fear, I tend to look at things very analytically.  I know what my risks are (and the odds, so to speak) with the surgery.  I compare that to what I believe the risks are of continuing life in this manner.  Do I think I have 10 years left (I'm 43).  I'd guess at the way I'm going right now, I have somewhere between 1 and 20 years left.

IF I get the surgery, I have a short period where I need to be concerned about the increased risks.  After that, I increase my 1 to 20 to 1 to 50, but a greater likelihood of hitting the backend (30-50).

That doesn't even take into consideration the quality of life.  It is, at times, miserable being me.  The things I miss or skip because of my size bothers me.  It bothers me that I could provide a fuller and better life for my children through greater participation, I often can't because of my limitations.

At the end, because of what I believe, I know that me and my family will be cared for, regardless of what happens in an operating room.

 If you've decided you want the surgery, don't let the fear stop you. Just show up for the surgery, they can give you something for anxiety, say your prayers, and it's out of your hands. After, just do as you're told. It's really just that simple.