Goal Body Image(?) Rant

You probably feel that more people are noticing you now, hence the anxiety about how you present yourself.   It's hard to adjust to our remodeled bodies.  We see every single flaw where others don't.

I still pick out clothes that are sizes too large for me to wear because I can't wrap my head around where I am now.  

I think you are definitely right about that, and I think that one of the reasons why I gained so much weight so quickly was as a protective shield around myself to avoid attention. Sometimes I definitely marvel at what my pants look like when I take them off - so small! Before, it was hugely depressing!

Welcome to the "skinny girl's club" . 

As we get smaller - the extra 2-4 lbs of water retention - may show as "a belly roll" - that normally is not there...2-5 lbs weight fluctuation when I am smaller shows in my clothes - how they fit, how I fell in them.   

when i was bigger - things either fit or they did not. I knew how to dress to "camouflage " my fat..and rolls...and +/- 3 lbs did not even register how my clothes fit me. 

I am 8 years post op - at goal.. I have days that I feel bigger than I am. (I feel fat in size 6-8)) . 

Days like that- poor choice of outfit may make me feel worse - taking me back to the "I'm fat" days..

I chose to try to look my best on days like that. Also - as we get smaller - the extra 2 lbs of water retention - may show as "a belly roll" - that normally is not there... Welcome to the "skinny girl's club" . 

You're right! My clothes make me so much more now than before. I guess I was just resigned to looking "bad" before, and now that I know I can look good, feeling like I made a bad outfit choice really has the impact to alter my whole confidence level.

I wasn't able to really "see" myself as I really looked until after I had plastic surgery. The excess skin messed with my head and I focused on that. I had to always adjust things and wear support wear to keep the jiggle in place or I would feel self-conscious. Plastic surgery on the parts that bothered me the most made me feel "whole" again. It took time for me to find self-acceptance, but I did find it. I think most of us do eventually find peace with our bodies.

I can't wait to be able to pursue this avenue! But I am also trying to work on being OK with my body as is, if worst comes to work. I figure I still have gained so much through this process because I mean, it's not like I was rocking bikinis before either, but ALSO didn't look great in clothes. Now at least I have the latter thing going for me. :)

I go back and forth. Some days I feel okay, and some days I feel the size of a tanker truck. On the days I feel like a tanker, I try to remind myself of how much better my health is and how my seatbelt doesn't strain and saw at my fat neck.

I relate to this so much. I feel way less body confident at a size 8 than I was at a size 20. I think part of it can be that we lived with one body for years and looked at it every day and was used to it. It didn't change rapidly like it does after surgery. It could just be a matter of time and getting used to what you see in the mirror.