Some people just don't get it.
Just venting, but I got my surgery date yesterday (July 25th - yay!) and now that it's becoming a reality, I'm starting to tell more people. I was hanging out with a couple friends and a couple people I don't really know tonight, and against my better judgement, I told my friend who didn't know yet. I preferred not to say anything in front of a couple strangers, but my other friend who did know already spilled the beans and I verified it. I should have just said, "I'll talk to you about it later."
One of the ladies at the table smiled and said, "Have you tried the cabbage diet?"
UGH! REALLY?!
Then she went on to talk about someone she knew who had "it" done (obviously not the VSG) years ago and gained all the weight back. Then she started asking me if I've been on specific other diets.
What's the best thing to say to these people? What dumb things have people said to you?
My mother once said that once you hit 70 you can say anything you want and people just think you've lost your marbles.....so, since I'm 70,I'd have a few choice words for those people.
Seriously, this is why I chose to not tell anyone other than a few close people.....my brother and 3 of my closest friends - two of whom have had WLS. I'm sick of judgmental people.....who do they think they are to tell you how to lead your life!
Anyhow, I posted in another thread that a very close friend of mine has a stock answer to anyone who asks nosy questions.....his stock answer... Why do you need to know?
I used to have a neighbor (she was a size 2 but always wore a size 0 because she thought it looked sexy....truthfully, she looked like a street walker most of the time....sorry, I'm being snarky...and 70).........she used to tell me that she had a Wendy's salad for lunch every day and was so stuffed from it that she usually couldn't eat dinner......she suggested that I try that. Aside from the fact that there was virtually no nutritional value in the salad (she ate just the vegetables...no meat), I didn't find that a salad would hold me til the next morning.. Her daily menu consisted of coffee and two crackers in the morning and then salad................BUT she did manage to go to Dairy Queen every now and then but she would get the child size cone. Anyhow, she found out that she was severly vitamin deficient (go figure how that happened) so she was told to start eating like a normal person. She moved away several years ago and I saw her at the mall about 6 months ago.....apparently eating like a real person didn't agree with her and she's probably a size 12 now.......tee hee......(there I go again....being 70).
My best suggestion would be, now that the cat is out of the bag, is to say that you had not intended to let the whole world know about your decision, that it is not open to public discussion. I would also say that what you do or do not do is a decision that you are making with your health care team; the people who actually know what they are talking about.
If that doesn't work, tell them that you know a 70 year old lady who might have some words of advice for them.....LOL.
Good luck....I hope you'll be able to fend of the fools.
Good friends are like stars.
You don't always see them but you always know they're there. 
I'd just tell them this is how I chose to treat my disease & my Dr agrees with me. Also every time someone comes up with the oh I know such & so & so who gained all their weight back, just say funny the people I know lost their weight & kept it off. Funny how that is, isn't it? 
No one surgery is better than the other, what works for one may not work for another.
T-Rebel
It really is frustrating. I have two camps. My closest circle, the "Core Group" as I call them, are all so supportive and are proud of the decision I've made. I've told my family and some are a bit puzzled, but my mom, brother and husband-- all of the most important people to me- are thrilled. Just last night one of my employees called me as I had sent an e-mail saying I'd be out for a several weeks for medical leave and she wanted to see if I was ok. I told her, because I'm an honest person, what was going on. She told me that I should start a protein full of fruits and only drink water in the morning and blah- blah- blah- blah.
My reasons are different from everyone else's. We are all doing this for ourselves- not for them. Have I tried every diet on the books? No. Have I yo-yo'd with my weight? No. I am a 37 year old, extremely busy professional, in school for two master's degrees simultaneously, have a three year old... I am jumping straight to the chase before wasting years trying to lose the weight. Sure, some people think I should've tried "this" or "that" before having surgery. But you know what? I'm listening to ME. Only one percent of obese people in this country have surgery. When medical advances in medication, like insulin or other drugs came to market, people took them to get better. When advances in surgery can improve your life, take advantage of it. This is a disease and for some of us, we need a tool to help us beat this.
As my nurse at my clinic told me- "You're making a decision to better your life. Haters gon' hate. They're going to start showing their faces sooner than you'd expect. Be ready. Remember why you're doing this." So true...
So, excuse me for venting :) Can you tell I'm going through the same nonsense? Congrats on your surgery date! I'm three days from now! Only 11 more pre-op shakes left. We can do this. We will do this and we will be much better off for it.
Good luck! Can't wait to hear how you're doing:)
Vanessa
Doesn't matter WHY you're doing this....it matters that you are taking control of your life YOUR way.......there are too many people out there in the world who think they have the right to impose their thoughts on you and tell you how to live.........ignore them!!!! As that nurse said....Haters gon' hate........she's so right.
Good friends are like stars.
You don't always see them but you always know they're there.
Oh geez @ your employee. That's just ridiculous.
The "you should try" stuff kills me. I know ONE person, just ONE who has lost a significant amount of weight dieting and kept it off (so far). One of these days I should have a snarky response like, "You should try shutting the f up!" but I know I'll just think it instead.
Congrats to you too! Can't wait to hear about your progress as well!
I completely understand where you are coming. I actually had a friend tell me they didn't condone my decision. I wanted to respond with (in my NY accent) "I don't remember asking for your f****g approval!" lol. He is going to school for nutrition and felt like I took the easy way out. People are going to say stupid things. I'm 5 months out and hear stupid stuff all the time from the select few that know out my friends and family. It kind of amazes me that no one was ever so "concerned" about my health when I had my gallbladder or hysterectomy surgeries, but mention weight loss surgery and they lose their minds.
I've already learned to let it role off my back and chalk it up to jealousy ;) As your nurse said...haters gonna hate!
Over ten years ago, I decided to have breast reduction surgery. I was so excited that I told anyone who would listen, and I learned pretty quickly that people could be all kinds of tactless in their responses. It was truly the best thing I've ever done for myself, and my only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.
Now that my sleeve surgery date is fast approaching, I've only told my husband, three close friends, a friend back home who just had the surgery in Mexico, and my in-laws. MIL and one friend (who are both nurses) have expressed doubt that it will work and wonder why I don't try Weigh****chers first, but everyone else is super supportive. I don't intend to lie if someone asks me outright, but I'm going to keep it under my vest for a while.
