Losing hope & hair *but not weight!*

Hi everyone, 

I am at the end of my rope and I truly need some help. I am 6 months out, having started at 370 (I'm 5'4). I've lost 60 pounds, and it's slowed to the point where I'm barely losing 4 pounds a month. 

 I read several threads from people at my BMI having lost 100 + pounds in 6 months. In fact, almost EVERYONE with a high start weight like mine has lost more than 100+ in 6 months that I've seen.

 I have come to the conclusion that I have failed at this. I am eating 800 cals a day or so, getting my water in, doing at least 40 minutes of exercise a day. HOW the heck have I screwed this up? Today I saw my family, and it was obvious that to them, I look exactly as I did a year ago. UGH.

 Has anyone out there with a higher BMI lost as slowly as I have and still been successful in the long run? Please, tell me there's still hope.

You haven't failed, just keep your carbs low.  For right now just stick to meat that you like with a bite or two of a low carb veggie.  Don't go to bed without drinking all your water and add little more protien and you will be fine.  Stay away from corn, potatoes, peas. Carrots, and fruit for right now and you will see faster results.  

I am so sorry that you are frustrated.  I started at 385, and I lost less than 100 pounds in the first 6 months.  So its not uncommon.  I did lose 50 pounds pre-op and that helped me feel good about the whole process.  Even so, I did get to goal in 18 months.

I know it really sucks that you are losing so slowly eating only 800 cals per day.  But please don't let it defeat you.  As long as you are losing weight each month, you are getting healthier and looking better.  In the long run, does it really matter how fast you lose?  As long as you are making progress, you'll get there eventually. 

As heavy as I was, people didn't even notice that I had lost any weight until I had lost almost 100 pounds.  I was so proud of myself when I lost the first 50 pounds, and no one noticed.  but eventually they did. 

Hang in there.  Try keeping  your carbs really low.  Carbs really slow my weight loss.  Also, at one point recently, I started taking Xanax for anxiety, and I was gaining weight on 1000 calories a day.  So I stopped it.  I'd rather be thin and anxious, thank you!  Are you taking any meds that might cause weight gain?

hang in there.  You can do this!

Carol

You haven't failed. You are losing weight, even though I know it isn't as fast as you want. To quote Teddy Roosevelt, "comparison is the thief of joy"! I know it is hard, but really try not to pay attention to how fast other people are losing. They aren't you and expecting your body to behave like theirs is just stressing you out and making you unhappy.

It sounds like you are doing what you need to be doing, but if you feel like your efforts need tweaking, you probably know that better than we do. I find that changing things up, both in terms of intake and exercise, is helpful for me (I never go high carb though). Making sure you get enough sleep (7-8 hours per night, no excuses) and protein is also important.

Keep focused and keep going -- you will get to goal, but you need to not let these insidious comparisons get you discouraged.

I started at a point not to far from you (5'4 and 359 lbs), and I had a few months here and there where my weight loss slowed to almost nothing despite my doing everything "right." But it usually picked up again and it all balanced out in the long run. I was also a "slow loser" -- not even close to 100 lbs in six months! But I kept going and I reached my goal.

I removed all tickers from my profile on all weight loss surgery boards because I realized that other people's tickers were making me feel bad and discouraged about my rate of weight loss, and I didn't want to participate in that at all. I also never say "I lost x pounds in the first month" or "I reached my goal in y months" because the ONLY thing that information provides is fodder for comparison with other people, and that never results in happiness -- mine or anyone else's. So I really try hard to stay away from that kind of information. I have trained myself not to look at other people's weight loss tickers and I just click away from any threads that share a lot of information about how fast weight loss is going. This has made me much happier and enabled me to be satisfied with my progress.

What are you eating? Posting a sample day can be really helpful and folks can help you figure out if there's anything that should change.

Hi,

Listen everyone is different don't get caught up in the comparison game because you will tear yourself apart.  Always remember your WHY?  You actually may be eating too little, it is all about portion control.  I agree with keeping the carb intake the lowest but you don't want to eliminate an entire food group because that's just not maintainable.  As far as working out what are you doing?  You have to shock your body and definitely incorporate strength/weight training for the best results. 

You haven't failed, do not beat yourself up like that. Comparing yourself to others is a recipe for disaster. Now I am not going to sit here and pretend like I do not do it too, I do it all the time. But you know what I have discovered? It does not help, it only hurts me.0

If you convince yourself that you are doing it wrong, you are only one step away from convincing yourself that the sleeve does not work, so why bother trying. It is a dangerous and slippery slope.

You are doing a fantastic job and any of your friends or family who judge you are either jealous that you are getting healthier than they are, or....well its just that. Jealousy is a strong feeling, whether they are jealous that you are going to look better than them, or jealous that you are accomplishing what you have set out to do, it is all the same. Keep on keeping on, one month will be slow and the next might be better. Just keep up the good work :) 

I always compare myself to others, it's so hard not to, but you haven't failed.  As long as your weight is going down, you're making progress!  I'm just about 6 months out and have lost 52lbs.  I feel that it's not fast enough myself.  Like you, I'm counting calories, I'm exercising and lifting weights like a mad woman but in the past 3 months I have only averaged a loss of 1 lb a week.  I see my doc Monday and I hope he's not disappointed.  So I feel your frustration but keep on and you'll get there!!  

If you are not doing so already, I would get out the measuring cups and food scale and make sure my portions have not creeped up. A little more each meal really adds up. As a group, we generally do not know what a portion size looks like by just looking at it. We are bad "guessers".