Emotional trauma and head hunger

Hello all, 

I've been overweight most of my life, and probably like most of us, have yo-yoed up and down and up and down. My weight issue initially started in my very early teens after being sexually abused (sorry for TMI) and turning to food for comfort. I hit my highest weight of 280 in 2008 after another traumatic experience and began therapy shortly thereafter to deal with all the things I'd been stuffing down (literally and figuratively) for so long. My therapist is an eating disorder specialist and has definitely helped my relationship with food (I never purged, but I definitely binged!). As of right now I have not binged in over five years, but my weight still remains around 270. 

I have been considering VSG for quite some time and have been doing my research, reading forums, etc. My therapist, though, is VERY anti-surgery and is concerned that not being able to eat to soothe head hunger will possibly cause other other issues to arise. I honestly don't know if my head hunger will ever be totally gone, but at the same time I feel like VSG would at least give me a fighting chance to get to a healthier weight (and possibly leave the house, get off antidepressants, etc.). 

My ultimate question is this: For those of you who have had VSG, how successful do you feel you've been in conquering head hunger? Do you feel having the physical limitation of a smaller stomach has forced you to deal with it, or have you developed other habits (either good or bad) to compensate?

Thanks for any feedback you can provide.  

- Katie 

Hi, Katie,

I'm sorry for what you've had to deal with in your life. No one deserves to be treated that way. We all do what we need to do to survive.

For me, VSG has been a blessing. I'm only 3 1/2 months out, but, so far, I'm doing well physically and mentally. Every day is a struggle to fight the head hunger, but each day it's a little easier. I still get cravings, but I find something else to replace it. There are so many options available today to help satisfy those mental urges. I attend a support group once a month, and the ladies there are masters at taking those wonderful foods we all used to eat that helped lead us to obesity, and making them healthy, wls-friendly. And, to the shock of my family and friends, I've started to cook for myself using their ideas and ideas I've found on OH, Bariatric Eating, Bariatric Foodie, etc. Before, I ate out every meal. Now, I can cook what I want in a much healthier way. And the food is good, so I'm not feeling deprived. Now, that's not to say I don't miss certain things, because I do. My surgery has helped me to make better choices, so the cravings don't (always) win. I mean, seriously, why would I go through the trauma of surgery only to throw it all away for a cupcake? Cupcakes are why I had to have the surgery in the first place. I'm off my blood pressure and cholesterol medications and my Synthroid has been reduced and I'm not longer pre-diabetic. That's a win -win-win! And another win? I feel so much better mentally. I'm no longer in that constant pissed off mood. The weight was part of the reason, but I believe the bad food choices also played a role in my bad attitude. 

So, to answer your question, I believe it's both. The smaller stomach has allowed me to make better choices due to its smaller size, but with that help, I've also been able to make better choices mentally. Because I'm not eating the foods that trigger head hunger and cravings, the cravings are MUCH decreased. I'm a teacher, so I have students daily offering me donuts, candy, McDonald's, etc., and I've been able to say no. Not just because my stomach doesn't want it, but because "I" don't want it. 

I hope this helps. Good luck to you - whatever you decide to do. It's your life and your choice. Do what's best for you. 

Hi Tonya -- thanks for your reply. That's crazy that Dr. Sebastien did your surgery since that one of the names my insurance company just gave me! How was your experience with him?  

Katie,

Dr. Sebastien and his entire staff are wonderful! They really educate you on what you need to do to be successful both before and after WLS. The nutrition classes with Christine are very thorough (and the most rigorous), the nurse practitioner, Meg, is honest and forthcoming (she's been through it herself) with tough love, and Dr. Sebastien and his nurse Bridget make you feel comfortable and ready as you begin your journey and hold your hand if you need it after surgery. I couldn't be more pleased with the care I've received from East Coast Bariatrics and Dr. Sebastien. There is also a support group that meets at Halifax Hospital the first Tuesday of every month at 6:00 with the NUT, Christine, leading. The group has several long-term WLS people who are so willing to share everything they've experienced in their journey, newbies who want to ask questions, and those contemplating surgery. Come to the next meeting (April 5th) if you're interested. You don't have to be a patient of Dr. Sebastien's to attend. I hope to see you! 

Food will never stop being a crutch. With that being said, having surgery has changed my relationship with it.  I now eat because I have to , not because I want to.

Knowing that I took this huge step has made a world of difference and I don't want the crap I used to eat.  Quality or I'm not eating it. I'm not hungry and my head is taking its own sweet time catching up .  Overeat and it makes me feel horrible or throw up! Eventually I will learn but I'm ok with that.

I have heard that food addiction can be replaced with some not so healthy ones, but so far I'm good...keep my carbs low, no alcohol, exercise and repeat.  So many people say "surgery isn't the answer" well poo on that.  It is by far the best thing I have ever done for myself.  I have been overweight so long, I don't know what normal is anymore. But I'm learning. One day at a time.  I have only shared my journey with a select few but my husband has been my rock. It is a reprogramming, a rebirth of sorts to me.  Opportunity to live a healthy and satisfied life.  Take it and run with it.

This is forum is a sounding board because they just get it.  Surround yourself in such a way that support is all around you.  Keep the crap out of your house. Make it all about you.

I have never lost this much weight and not been hungry. I probably should be in therapy, but retail therapy is working so far.

 Have Surgery for the right reasons not as a quick fix to life.

 Just my thoughts 

Great post, Smallbites! Thanks for sharing.

Retail therapy has helped me, as well - mostly online shopping.  Maybe a little too well. I think it might just be my transfer addiction!  

Hi I am one month post op. I have bipolar so was very concerned how not being able to eat would effect me. I am being completely honest with you, I hardly have any head hunger. I think about a snack at night once and awhile because I was a night eater. 

I went to a friends for tea lady Sunday. She made biscuits (my favorite) and blueberry cake. We sat and talked for two hours with those goodies on the table. Not once did I crave the food. Before the surgery the food would have been on my mind the entire time. I would have had one biscuit and a small piece of cake and then craved more the whole time. 

I think it's because I am not really hungry that I'm not thinking of food. When the hormones grow back (around six months) hopefully my eating habits will prevent going back to head hunger. 

At 5 years out, there is NOTHING about simply having a smaller stomach that makes it easier to battle emotional eating. Surgery changes our stomach, not our head. Early out of surgery, when you have no hunger and get full easily, it's very easy to avoid emotional eating. The further out you get, the harder it gets if you don't make serious changes to your emotional and mental health. As someone who has been through serious and similar trauma, we carry an even heavier burden. It took me 4.5 years after surgery to find a solution for me, but I've managed to lose 40lbs of a serious regain. I'm more than happy to chat more with you if you want. 

I have BED, and have been seeing an eating disorders therapist.  My head hunger has not gone away.  I still thing about food constantly, but now I don't act out on my impulses as much as I did in the past.

I still have moments when I lose control and binge, but it's not every day like it was when I weigh over 400 lbs.  The smaller stomach definitely helps to restrict how much I can eat at one time.  However, you can eat around your sleeve by grazing on foods that do not leave you satiated. 

I like to think that I've rebooted the way I eat for 90% of the time.  I never used to cook, was a junk food/fast food junkie, but all that has indeed changed.  What worked for me was restructuring my lifestyle and not eating certain foods that trigger me to make poor choices.

There are many people who have a history of sexual abuse and are overweight.  I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you    I had other life traumas that set me on a course of self-destructive eating.  Therapy helps, but for me, it hasn't taken away my compulsive/obsessive relationship with food.  I just seem to control it better.   Losing a significant amount of weight helped me to feel better and that keeps me motivated.  I don't want to go back to being a couch potato.

My house is A LOT cleaner these days, so I think I redirected some of my focus into that.  Don't let your therapist dissuade you from surgery.  Do your research (as I'm sure you're doing here) and decide for yourself.  You have to live in your skin, she does not.  I would have WLS every day if I knew how much better my quality of life would be compared to three years ago.

Good luck on your journey.  You deserve a better life.

I love this post.

HONEST.

Wow!