Four Years Out and.... big gain

My four year surgiversary was on 2/22.  I lost about 85 pounds after the surgery (I hit goal) and maintained.  Last April my dad passed away and I ran off the rails.  I immediately returned to my old, horrible habit of using food for comfort.  I am just now starting to come out of the fog of grief.  My husband said something the other day that has finally gotten through and resonated.  He said my dad would want me to "get up off the mat."  He's right.  My dad was the strongest person I knew.  He would tell me to get back on track.  So now I am faced with losing 26 pounds and getting back to eating right.  It's a hurdle.  A big one.  I'm angry at myself and so ashamed of falling off the wagon as bad as I have.  After three solid years of feeling good about myself and not feeling uncomfortable in my skin, I'm right back where I was at the start of my journey.

So I'm back.  This forum was a lifeline and absolute Godsend to me when I was thinking about surgery and then after surgery.  So I'm back, to be accountable, to learn from all the experts here, and to be a part of a great group of people that really "get it."

I have not had any junk food for two days and believe me - that's a huge success for me!  So I'm on the right track but afraid to fail, afraid to let myself down, afraid to disappoint my dad.  But I'm back.  I'm up off the mat.

You can do it! Your dad will be your guardian angel, helping you every step of the way :) 

Do not lose hope, 26 pounds will be gone before you know it. 

The truth is that almost everyone has a 20 or so pound bounce-back regain in year three.  Life happens, people have problems, get sick or die.  Those things happen to everyone and do not cause regain.  Regain is from eating too many calories -period.

Regain happens because the body recovers from the effect of having been starved.  We get totally bored with the weight loss surgery lifestyle and revert back to the foods and behaviors that made us fat.  And the body is cheering us on, because it wants its old foods and old weight back.

To lose 26 pounds, set a realistic timeframe.  Losing a pound a week would be excellent.  So get your calendar and mark off 26 weeks.  That is your goal for losing the weight.

Now multiply your current weight by 10.  That is the number of daily calories you need to stay at your present weight.  Subtract 500 calories and you have the number you can eat to lose one pound a week.  For me, I need 1360 to 1400 to stay at 136-140 pounds.  I drop to 900 to lose a pound a week.

Weigh your food and track everything with My Fitness Pal.  Get the best and smartest scale you can afford and weigh daily.  Wear a fitness tracker and use it to meet your exercise goals.  Get rid of the junk food and shop for healthy foods.  Drink plenty of water.  Come here for support, go to your surgeon's support groups.  Go to a therapist.  Get grief counseling if you have not already done so.

I lost my husband to cancer two years after my surgery.  Grief causes a fog and remember that fog lifts.

White Dove you just explained in this small  post what I have been trying to understand for years! I have never been a calorie counter, I know I will have to learn to be once I have my surgery and you just made it all CLICK in my head!!! Thank you!!!!

It is so much easier with the tools available now.  I did it for many years with a pencil and paper.  Now I can take my iPhone and scan a label into My Fitness Pal.  It does the math for me.  Don't wait for surgery, download the app, get a digital food scale and start today.

First off, ((Hugs)) and I'm sorry for your loss.

That aside, you've got this. You did it once, and you can do it again. Best of luck!

Awesome advice, I didn't know about the calorie part.....makes me think I'm not eating enough and that is why I've been stuck for months, thanks for the great advise!

If I eat more than 900 calories a day I do not lose any weight.  It takes very little calories to maintain when you are smaller.  Thinking you need more calories is not the answer.  If you are not losing you need less calories.

First and foremost, I am very sorry for your loss. 

Second, thank you very much for this helpful info!  I got back on the wagon, so to speak, yesterday by walking a mile and not eating any junk food. Big steps for me!  I know I can do this, it's just.... doing it. 

I'm grateful for the practical advice, encouragement, and accountability that is shared on this forum.

Thank you again!

26 lbs is nothing! You got this!! Get off that mat and getting going!! Don't be ashamed and don't beat yourself up! Life happens and its not always easy! You're back and soon that 26 lbs will be history!