Need to vent, very frustrated :(

Going to be honest here: you need to find some peace with yourself right away.  Let's look at what you have and not what you don't.

1- you have a husband and family and friend to enjoy time with, find things to do that are less food centric

2- you went to dinner at 1 month out, that's a lucky thing for many people who've just had WLS and maybe your pushing yourself too quickly

3- your not normal you just had WLS it is all all in deal.  You will never be the same as "normal" people, at best you'll start to pass as "normal" as time goes on, but you have/had an issue with food/weight that you chose to deal with by choosing WLS and that's a serious matter.

4- it's too late to back out, so you need to deal with what you have.  You have a solid tool that you can use to get your weight in line with a healthier lifestyle, you can choose to work through these feelings of despair or fall into a dark place and keep the weight on you

Look I understand, I was cut open 8yrs ago and there was a lot of adjustments.  I had remember running to the bathroom to barf while at a work lunch where I had to come back to my peers and pretend that I hadn't just been crying in the bathroom.  I have had waiters insist on bringing me a different plate because I'd chosen to hate their food, when really it was very good but I couldn't eat it all.  I have had to decide to tell people or not, I suggest limiting the numbers of people you tell as it's just that many more times you have to talk about not being normal.  It takes about 6 months to start to feel normal and better equipped to deal with people, eating in public, and feeling confident about your new eating style.  I am preparing to undergo a revision to VSG in less than a month and all of these issues will come back, I've been thinking about them all and it's hard.  I chickened out in August and didn't go see my doctor, I am not far more mentally ready and will go get cut open again, this time not to be banded but this time for them to take my real stomach.  

Here's the hard truth about why I'm back in this position.  I tried to be normal.  I tried to go out and eat like my friends, my family, not pass on the cake at work, eat the cookie given to me.  All of these things are not for me, I'm someone who has an issue with food both psychologically and biology hasn't helped either.  But if you take one thing away from what I'm saying is you are going to have to give up on this idea of being normal when it comes to food and try to use this tool so you can be healthy.  You can go for long walks, run a 5k, swim in the ocean, ride a roller coaster and those types of things like a normal person.  

Everybody is different. You are a month out of surgery, your body is still healing from what was done to it. You should also up your protein level as well. I was 90 grams plus and more often than not pushing 150 grams of protein a day, protein is what helps you heal as well. Some argue it's not the case, but I truly believe that if the body feels like it's in starvation mode, it will hold on to what it can. That said, you have lost 20 pounds in less than a month. That is a victory whether you see it or not. What I am about to say next might get a few people mad at me, but then again, it's happened before, probably will again. As to your last sentence. I think that should be switched around somewhat, if you think the sleeve has potentially ruined your life, then you are an idiot. The sleeve is a tool, it will work for you. Some times it works slower or faster than others, bottom line, you have lost weight, it is working for you. I think the rest is all mental and you really should go talk with someone over it. Perhaps the shrink you more than likely saw in your pre-approval process. Good luck.

You can "truly believe" whatever you want, but science does not agree with you.

Very true, everyone can believe what they choose to. I also realize from personal experience that the body needs a certain level of caloric intake to function, otherwise it starts to shut down and tries to hold on to everything it can in order to keep you alive if you are nutritionally deficient for a prolonged period of time. Science isn't absolute, the knowledge from science is constantly evolving. In regard to the person who placed the original post, she is a month out from surgery, her body is still healing from the surgery. 

Congratulations on the pre-op and post-op weight loss! Well done! 

You can't help how you feel, and if you're having a down day, you have that right. No one can tell you how to feel. My understanding is the emotional ups/downs are normal, and we might feel a bit of remorse after surgery.

I know my post isn't very helpful, it doesn't have advice and fixes, I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I really hope you feel better about everything very soon.

Girl, I hate to tell you this but 20 lbs in the first month is absolutely nothing to be frustrated with. I know people that lost 7 lbs in the first month. 20 lbs is a lot. Your body has been beat up by surgery and it takes quite a while to heal. You're not anywhere near done healing yet, so give yourself time, and make peace with what is happening with your body. Regret doesn't get you anywhere, because it's irreversible so you will have to find a way to deal with things that seem disappointing to you. Stop comparing yourself to others, we all gained differently and we all lose differently. 

VSG will not only help you lose the weight, it will help you keep the weight off for the rest of your life, which is probably the reason why you had the surgery to begin with. You can have dinner with your husband. I am 2 and  a half months out and my husband and I go on a dinner date once a week. Yes I eat little and usually end up with some grilled chicken with green beans, but I can and do go out to dinner.

It seems that everything you're doing is the right way. Weight stalls are normal, if you stall for longer then 3 weeks you either eat way to much calories or too little (because that too can trigger a stall). I had a 2 week stall at 285. I did everything right but they weight did not come off for 2 weeks. I failed to realize that in those same 2 weeks I did lose inches off my waist and legs, yet no weight came off. Fat is burning, muscle is taking it's place. Your body sometimes needs to halt, re-evaluate what it's doing and then moves forward with functioning the way it should. Put the scale away. You lose inches even if you don't lose weight. Don't weight yourself more then once every 1-2 weeks. Obsessing over the scale is only going to grow your frustration, let that thing go.

You did not ruin your life, you did not make a mistake. You lost a whopping 20 lbs in 4 weeks and you are well on your way to a permanently healthier you. 

For your constipation, add Benefiber to your drinks (I drink it in my tea in the morning). The tailbone pain is also not unusual as your body is realigning itself as the weight comes off, so I would suggest maybe visiting a chiropractor for that problem.

Nothing is wrong with you other then you need to practice some patience :)

PM me if you want to talk, hang in there!

You have been through a lot, and did an incredible job with your preop loss. It is the cumulative total that will get you there, so one great month like this will add onto your future great months. You will start to have a bit more energy at the 6 week mark, but really notice a difference in how you feel closer to 3 months. Hang in there!!

I was THRILLED with 14 pounds my first month!  20 would have made me ecstatic!  Please, don't compare yourself to others.  Everyone loses at a different rate, and 10 pounds a month is considered great as far as I'm concerned.  Now that I'm so close to goal, it's coming off much slower, about a pound a week, but it only intensifies my determination to eat right and lose those final 10 pounds.  

You could have done this on your own, but would you have?  And if you did, would you have kept it off?  This is your best chance, and as you lose more you will be more and more sure that you did the right thing.

I am 3 months and 7 days out and I thought I was the only one that feels like this. I know I am losing because I threw out a bunch of clothes but I have been in a stall for the last 3 weeks even though I have joined a gym and work out 2 hours a day 6 days a week.

I have only lost 1 pound since I joined the gym and it discourages me. I am in therapy and I know in my head that I didn't gain the weight over night but I just wonder did I make a mistake with surgery ?

Sorry needed to vent : /

Do not be sorry for needing to vent. That is what we are here for, support. You are further along than I am, so there is not much advice I can offer you, but hang in there. You are not alone and things will get better :)