Carbs are calling me today

For some reason all I can think of today is all the things I cannot have anymore: cookies, pie, cake, candy, chocolate, nutella, cheesecake. UGH. It's been miserable. I haven't eaten more carbs than normal (keeping them way under 40 grams a day usually under 20 a day easily) making the carb monster come out. I don't keep any of those things in my house (single and no kids makes it easy) but all I want is one home made chocolate chip cookie or a piece of cheesecake. IDK what it wrong with me (it's not that time of the month) and I won't be naughty and have any of those things. I am drinking water like I'm dying of dehydration trying to keep myself full so I don't think about the naughty things. I had a chocolate protein shake thinking maybe that would suffice my craving, but because it wasn't what I wanted it didn't help at all. I hate that my body wants these things. I hate that I cannot have them in moderation like a normal weight person who has never struggled with their weight. I know I had my surgery partly because I couldn't say no to delicious treats and I was pre-diabetic but that doesn't make it suck less. Even sugar free things send me off the deep end and into a carb spiral so I can't even have like a sugar free pudding or anything to satisfy it. I know this is just head hunger so I am doing my best to ignore it. Why is this happening almost 6 weeks (as of tomorrow) out from surgery? I've mostly been good this whole time (other than sugar free pudding which I ended up dumping so I wouldn't over eat it) and my only carbs come from cheese, my protein shakes, and a tiny bit (1 carb per serving) from my turkey deli meat. I'm at a loss here. Honestly (and I apologize to anyone offended by religious talk) but I feel like Satan is trying to get at me so I prayed about it and just hope that God gets me through.

It took me a couple years to figure out I have to reframe it - it's not "forever". It's for today. Today I choose not to have those things. And now every morning, I get up and I commit to not having those things. I find it more empowering compared to feeling deprived. 

Just know - this will pass. Just hang in there. 

Thanks acbbrown, you're right it's just for today and today I chose to have a 100 calorie pack of vanilla almonds to help with my sweet tooth, it upped my carbs for the day some (still under 20 grams for the day) but it also was super duper satisfying and now I am no longer thinking about cake or cookies. My mom gave me like three 100 calorie packs she was getting rid of so I may use those as a treat once a month. I know a lot of people on the forums say you have to be strong and never have treats but that just isn't how I chose to operate plus they don't use real sugar they use stevia and they do have protein. 

Wow, what an awesome way to put it! Thank you for that.

I made it my mission to enjoy guilt-free substitutes for what I was craving.  I made my sugar free pudding in the blender and mixed in enough protein powder for four meals.  Then poured into four serving dishes and had one for each meal.  It was a meal, not a dessert and it had my protein for that meal.

I found recipes for treats that followed my food guidelines.  Check out The World According to Eggface.  Make her Chocolate Microwave Protein cake and some of her Sugar Free Warm Vanilla Custard.

Make homemade ice cream with your protein powder.  Check out recipes for low carb cakes, cookies, and donuts.  I bought sugar free chocolate candy from Maine Cottage Foods.  It was very expensive but I needed to be able to be sure I had a good substitute for the real thing.

I make a sugar-free, fat-free cheesecake and it is in the recipe forum.

During weight loss phase I had protein ice cream at least once a day and I made microwave mug type cakes at least once a day.  I spent money on ingredients and on equipment.  I took the time to make special treats for myself and never felt left out or deprived.

Thanks White Dove. I love Shelly's blog and I looked at the chocolate microwave cake and I'm definitely going to try that for a once in awhile treat. I do need to grocery shop a bit and stop being so lazy with meal planning. I appreciate your suggestions.

Try making fat free sugar free jello instant pudding with 2% milk - I make it with 4 added scoops of protein powder, and put it into 4 small containers. It s nice low cal, high protein sweet snack when you feel the need. 

Six weeks post-op is a short time, given how long you'll have the sleeve. It often takes a while to get into the groove of healthy eating, which will reduce the cravings. At six weeks post-op, I longed for every uneaten morsel I had to leave on my plate. At four months post-op, I couldn't believe that anyone was able to eat full-size portions. My brain/attitude/whatever underwent a sea change during that time, so that what used to be "abnormal" (tiny portions, lean proteins, no sweets) became my new "normal."

Give yourself a bit more time. You might also want to consider attending Overeaters Anonymous meetings to help with your cravings. Although OA does not demand belief in God, only in a "higher power," you might fit in well and benefit greatly from the 12-step program. Dealing with "head hunger" is OA's specialty.

psychoticparrot

Psychoticparrot I have thought about OA, and I know it's stupid, but I feel so ashamed to go. There is a local meeting (I looked it up) but I am scared and ashamed to go alone. One of those things I am going to honestly have to push myself and force myself to go because I need it. Just like I force myself to walk/move more and force myself to avoid the bad food choices at the grocery store. This stupid head hunger messes with me. Still trying to find a good local psychiatrist/therapist/councilor who deals with eating disorders/WLS patients. My surgeon's office suggested several providers but my insurance covers none of them. I will find someone soon though I am waiting to hear back on one that sounds promising in the town I live. Since she is the only one covered by my insurance I'm hoping she can get me in.

OA has been a serious life changer for me and my relationship with food. It was definitely hard to go at first but I found a room full of people who were loving and accepting. I talk a lot about OA in my blog that is linked in my signature.