Researching: just made the decision.....any advice ?

Hello everyone. I have just made the decision to finally go ahead with surgery.  Decided to do some research and wound up here.  I'm glad I did....seems to be a great community.  I have been reading posts here for hours.

I tell the doc what i decided next week.  I am looking for any advice or info that any of you would like to share...what you think is most important or little things that might end up being big surprises.  

My doc said the sleeve was the best option in my case...not sure why yet.  We will discuss it at next appt.  However she is my primary. I haven't seen the surgeon yet.  

I did go thru orientation for WLS a few years ago but decided against it at that time.  The excess skin, "dumping" stories, and out of pocket costs were my main cocerns.  I thought I should try it one more time   on my own.  I loss 70 pounds but never lost the rest of it.  Then gained nearly 40 of it back this last year.  

It is time.  I am 52 and have a most remarkable 4 year old grand daughter who is the light of my life.  I've got to do this for me....and her.  I am spending the weekend researching the sleeve so that I can have an educated conversation with my doc.  Any information, concerns or advice you want to share, will be  greatly appriciated... Thank you

I had the sleeve done a couple of months ago, my brother had the RNY 13 years or so ago. You will lose weight somewhat faster with the RNY, but it is more invasive. The sleeve is less invasive, it doesn't bypass any intestines and as my surgeon stated leaves the valve at the bottom of the stomach intact which is important. All the sleeve does is basically re-size the stomach, they remove the more elastic and stretchy part leaving only the more muscular part that doesn't stretch as easily or as much. While it is still major surgery, the less invasive option is always better, also if there is a problem, they can revise to the RNY, you can't do the RNY and revise to the sleeve. The sleeve is a amazing tool for you, but a lot of this is mental, if you stick garbage into your mouth after the sleeve is done, you aren't going to have the results you want. 

Like you, I had the same concerns, such as wow, this procedure is going to be forever, will I have hunger issues, how is it going to affect me in social situations such as family events, etc. I am glad I did it, I wish I had done it sooner, I never feel hungry after eating, I only have felt hungry if I have been out and about and haven't had anything like 6-8 hours since I ate last, then I get something and within a couple of bites I'm stellar. I was out over the holidays and passed by tables with all the normal Christmas goodies, didn't even phase me which pleasantly surprised me where as a year ago I would have 'nibbled' on more than a few choices present. I was at a casino the day after Thanksgiving which was about 10 days after my surgery give or take and walked right past their buffet on the way to the blackjack tables, smelled wonderful, again I was pleasantly surprised, no temptation whatsoever. As you see the weight drop, it also keeps you motivated to keep your eyes on the prize so to speak. So like my brother was saying to me while I was having all the concerns, don't worry about it, just do the surgery, after you do, you will understand, and like my brother to me, I am saying to you. Have the surgery, afterwards, you will understand and wonder why you were so hesitant before hand. Good luck.

Thank you so much.  So will I be never be able to meet family at a buffet again... Or Sunday family breakfasts at home...or will I be learning how to eat sensibly so I can join them?  Sounds like your brother is still happy with his decision and you kinda have a built in support.  That is wonderfull.  I know it seems like a silly question but I am realizing that there are so many social situations where food is involved.  I know my family will be supportive whatever the case......so far as they can be anyway.   I guess I just feel like I need to be prepared for So many things.  I have always believed that rapid weight loss should be accompanied by therapy.  but i may not be able to do that.  Any thoughts?

And thank you again for your reply.

Yes, I have a built in support system within my family and I consider it priceless. Prior to my starting this journey, if the family went to a buffet, my brother would still come with us, he would pick and choose among the choices and eat with us, just not as much as others. Buffets are meant to be a source of variety, not eating as many plates of food as you can before you nearly in a coma. He has gone to sit down dinners where you order off a menu and he'll order whatever, and after soup or salad, he'll eat a few bites of his dinner and take the rest home and have one or two more meals out of it. He jokingly calls going to Costco his lunch buffet, because after hitting the 4-5 spots that offer samples, he's like "I'm full". and states Costco membership is a great deal, he gets lunch anytime he wants it for free. Anyways, my point being, is while you are on your journey, you are going to have to draw a line and say, no I'm not going to do this or that. Once you are in maintenance, you will have some more options to you within reason. My brother for example, he is 6'4" and about 300lbs. For his height and frame, he looks great. He does have his bad habit though, he likes his irish cream in his coffee among other alcohol, not to excess, but socially. He even admits, it's empty calories and if he gave it up, he would probably be at 275 instead of 300, but it's what he likes and he does it. He is also a very active person and constantly on the move. I'm not saying save a bad habit for later, not in the slightest, but he is 13 years out from his surgery and he knows better than anyone what works for him. Everyone's body makeup is different, just as everyone adapts to the surgery differently. For example with me, for my height of 6'5", the chart says I should be 210lbs ideally, I laugh my ass off at that, so did my doctor. For my height and frame set, 285-300 is my goal and my doctor agreed, if I was to get to 210, I would have to be admitted to the hospital for malnutrition. To put it in prospective, for me, gloves that say one size fits all, don't. I wear a size 15 wide boot. I mention it that way to reinforce, no chart encompasses everyone, not everyone will fit into the same mold. As to your thoughts of seeking therapy, all a therapist is, is someone for you to talk to. Find someone you know, better yet if they have had WLS, and talk to them, my brother and I talk at least 3-4 times a week, each time we talk about how each other are doing. As to the social situations, believe me, after you have surgery, I am 9 weeks out today, it really will not phase you that much if at all. Like I mentioned, I passed by all the crap food during the holidays, did I look at something and think 'hmmmmm that looks pretty good', of course I did, just because I had surgery doesn't make one blind, but after that initial thought, it really didn't phase me and I carried on.

Buffets are actually a good option when you eat out. You can choose dense proteins and vegetables and be happy with your delicious yet plan forward options.  A group of us eat breakfast on Sunday at a local golf course.  Eggs and bacon are completely acceptable.  Avoid bread products (toast, waffles, pancakes) as they're filled with carbs and calories, and can trigger even more destructive eating behaviors.

For family events that involve food, bring something that you know you can eat.  Deviled eggs are a go-to for me.

Depending on what type of eater you are (I'm a compulsive binge/emotional eater), therapy is essential for breaking the patterns that cause you to use food as a reward or comfort.  I thought I could handle it emotionally after WLS, but found that my food demons were always lurking in the shadows.  It's not so much rapid weight loss, but how much food controls your life.  Therapy is something to seriously consider if you want to achieve long term success.

Support on OH is great, particularly if you want honest answers, not pats on the back.  I appreciate getting slapped in the face when I do something stupid here, especially early out.  That's how I learned and have been successful.

Listen to vets who have maintained their weight loss and are five years post surgery.  There are so many changes and issues in the first few years that regain and slacking off are more prevalent than we care to think.  

As a "vet" with 4.5 yrs since surgery - here's what has shocked me the most. 

Most of the time, losing weight will be the easy part. You develop a plan, follow the plan and voila, weight falls off. Simple  

Keeping it off and maintaining your weight loss is the REAL challenge we all have to face. I see you had some experience with regain so you may know this. This part is less about the food itself and more about the mental and emotional parts of our lives. We cannot and should not expect to live off 800 calories. We should not expect life to be easy and without the stressors that lead us to eatin the first place. You have to have to have to deal with those issues to be successful. 

Read tons here about the honeymoon period and life after the honeymoon. Prepare yourself for that before you even have surgery. 

And please, for your sanity, don't be addicted and A slave to the scale. Weigh once a week, understand you have no control over the number that pops up and focus on things you do have control over. 

Thank you.

 I don't own scales. Thought I'd just go by Dr appts.  Is that something I should do...weighing at home once a week?  Great point about the number being out of your control.  I hadn't thought of that .  wow this won't even resemble previous attempts at losing weight.  

I do have a question about excess skin.  Is there something I can start now that will possibly help with that problem?  do you just get used to it?  Funny...this time it seems like a fair enough trade....thexcess skin for a healthier and longer life with my grandkids....but still hanging on to a little vanity.  

My dr appt was postponed til next week.  I am glad as there is so much more to it than what the bariatric sites that I was told to look at have.  They all stop at recovery.  Sounds like the real journey starts later.   Thank you both so much.

So...at 4 and a half years...are you still happy with your decision?

Absolutely happy with my decision. No regrets at all. 

As for the scale, I would go by Drs appts for maybe 2-3 months but eventually you'll want to weigh every week or every other week to gage your plan and whether it's working. Whatever you do, don't have a scale for the first 6 weeks because you'll have large drops in weight and stalls that will follow. I always tell people I never had a 3 week stall bc I didn't weigh for myself for 6 weeks. 

As for excess skin, I had tons. I was extremely fortunate to be able to afford plastics but I would have lived with the excess over the fat any day. There really isn't much you can do to control whether you have it or how bad it is. 

Read tons here. Talk to people further out (like several years). Any Qs feel free to PM me.