Always Remember..........

I just took a shower an hour ago. Your post reminded me of the circus act I used to have to go through to get to all the places that needed washing. Not even a year post-op and I'm already taking showering, walking easily, better health and vitality for granted.

Thanks for the reminders of why we decided to have the surgery.

psychoticparrot

At 350lbs. I thought for sure I was going to die getting in or out of the bath tub......very sketchy!

frisco

• How hard it was to tie my shoes without cutting off air and my head feeling like it was gonna pop. YUP
• How hard it was to walk any distance. Double YUP
• How hard it was to wipe my own azz....like my arm was to short... YUP again
• How hard it was to find clothes. F YES! 
• I hated to go out and made all kinds of excuses to miss out on doing something that wasn't mandatory. ABSOLUTELY!
• How my doctors would give me **** for being so fat. Mine were nice, thank God! My PCP fast tracked me to my sleeve. 
• How embarrassed I was in any kind of group. Pretty much! 
• What it feels like to be biggest person in the room. Hated this! 
• How I would think everyone was watching and taking note on what the fat guy was eating. Sometimes I'd eat light in public and go home and really eat. Sad....
• What hot and sticky feels like as a super morbidly obese person..... not pleasant.... I carried the Sweat Rag everywhere I went. 
• What little kids and dumb adults say out loud about fat people. - at least not to my face

What strikes me is how my life has changed. I am now more fit and more active than most of my friends. It's bizarre how the roles have changed. I was always the fat, slow, sweaty guy. Now I'm the one encouraging others to get off the couch and to move their butts! 

I just bought a entry level hybrid bike (Trek FX 7.2). I love the fact that I can do a ten mile ride easy peasy and not feel one bit tired afterwards. This past month I discovered I can do squat jumps onto boxes - wild! I've got this wild idea that I want to squat jump to a 30" box. Who would have thought?????

I'm also continually learning about obesity and its many factors, which in turn has helped me understand, accept and work with my issues surrounding food. Without VSG I would never have gone down this path.

I can honestly say that VSG has been a gift that has changed my life for the better in so many ways! 

Frisco, you are an inspiration. I will share with you my personal story and obviously anyone else who chooses to read it. I was always a big guy, but an active big guy up until 10 years ago this month actually. Prior to the incident I was and still am 6'5" but I was about 325 pound and I carried it very well. I was on the move all day working, I liked to play volleyball, etc. Then while in an ER for a respiratory infection which turned out to be a mild case of pneumonia, I contracted a staph infection on the left side of the scrotum. I know precisely where I caught it, it was the ER bathroom. When I first got there, just a non-productive cough, no fever, no other symptom. a few hours later, I was at 104.5 and the scrotum was swelling out of control. In a manner of hours, it literally grew to the size of a beach ball. I spent 23 days in the hospital over it. That was pure hell.  After that, the activity was much more difficult with what felt like the liberty bell swinging between the legs. As my activity level dropped, the weight piled on. I understand where you are coming from when it became easier to avoid doing anything than suffer through it. While in the hospital, I was pretty much used as a guinea pig, the urologist had never seen anything like this before and probably wouldn't again to the point where I found afterwards in the medical records that he outright lied to me but that's another story. At any rate, two years ago I finally hit the point where I said I have had enough, had surgery to remove the excess skin from the scrotum, then once healed, started on the process for the sleeve surgery which was done 7 weeks ago. In those 7 weeks plus the liquid pre-op diet prior to it, I've dropped 85 pounds and counting. I feel more energetic and do more without thinking the thought of do I really need to. I still have a ways to go, but the sky's the limit and I just keep my eyes on the prize, my former life. 

I remember visiting my family in Florida and loving it....but being miserable and hot because of the heat! I'm fresh off a two week visit where Florida set a new high everyday. I'm proud to say I didn't sweat & I wasn't miserable. 11 out of 13 days I was able to get a run in....I sweated then, but that was to be expected! 

I agree with all written.  Here are a few more:

-fearing my kids' friends would make them feel badly about their mom

-not being able to take a bath, as I didn't fit in the tub

-succumbing only when absolutely necessary to have a photo taken, especially a family portrait

-a real fear of dying too young or being permanently disabled by knife and fork, - either way having my family resent me because I could have done something about it

-intimacy with my husband was so difficult

-every time I went to the dr., it seemed I had another new weight related condition

-not being able to/be willing to take part in activities with my kids - sledding, riding a bike, going on roller coasters, hiking, going to the beach, etc.

I'm sure there are many, many more.  Thanks Cisco for reminding me of these things, just when I needed it!

Mary

Well Frisco you pretty much hit most of the negatives.  Here are a few more I remember:

taking the elevator in our 2 story office building when everyone else took the stairs. 

Ordering clothes out of catalogs because I couldn't stand the full length dressing room mirrors.

Looking around the room at an event to make sure there was one fatter person than me.

Making excuses at the grocery check out for all the junk i was buying (like saying I was having guests)

Worrying others would see my grocery cart contents. 

Being observed and commented on when eating junk in the office break room. 

Only being able to do one shopping venue per day then having to go lie down.'

Having to lie down every day at 4 o'clock regardless due to back pain.

Getting weighed at doctor and closing my eyes and telling  nurse not to tell me. 

Sinking astonished feeling when catching a glimpse of myself in a store window.

The good news is that minus 120 lbs there are too many positives to mention -  vive la sleeve!!!!

diane

Well Ditto on everything everyone has said.

It is crazy to remember those times and how hard life truly was. I sometimes wonder how we ever survived it all. The hurt, the physical pain, the emotional turmoil and the ridicule from strangers and loved ones alike.

Thank you Frisco for helping me to remember - it does me good.

1) Being the fatest person in the room;

2) Thinking I had to please everyone and do whatever it took just so they would like me a little bit;

3) Airplane seat belts;

4) Swimming or trying to - however I did float much better back then LOL;

5) Never ever having enough food to fill me;

6) Hiding food and going through drive throughs to buy two of everything, just incase one was not enough or in case there was no food to be bought tomorrow;

7) So much physical effort to perform even the simpliest of tasks.

I could go on and and on, thank you again form helping me remember.

Lorna

All of these replies are just bringing tears to my eyes. I thought I was the only one :( I have surgery in two weeks, and during this liquid diet I am going to keep reading this post. I cannot wait until these horrible things are a distant memory. 

Some more to add

1. Being in a crowded elevator, hoping it doesnt make a loud beeping sound like we are over the weight limit
2. Getting a special big chair at work when everyone else has the same chair (we all got new chairs, and they ordered me a "special" one)
3. Not being able to wear work logo tshirt on friday, like everyone else does
4. Worrying about getting into someone elses car, whether i will fit or be able to wear a seat belt
5. Not being able to go on rides at theme parks because i cannot fit in the seat
   1.    Or going on a ride, but putting the others in danger because we use the same lap bar
6. Holding up the building during a fire drill because i have to go down one stair at a time
7. Looking older than I am 
8. Not being able to go to restaurants because I do not know what the seating is like, if there will be tables, if its crowded, etc. 
9. Being ashamed to be out in public, just feeling like everyone is astonished that I am walking around at my weight
10. Avoiding going to the doctor because I do not want to be weighed
11. Cutting my own hair because I am afraid the chairs at the salon will not go up and down with me in them
12. Not being included in weddings because I cannot fit in the bridesmaid dresses (including my own sisters wedding) 

I cannot wait for my surgery and for my new life. 

This is a powerful and important post.  I can relate to all the points.  I'm taken by how quickly I've put these things out of my mind, and how important it is to remember how important it is to stay the course. 

Thank you for your wisdom and generosity participating in the support on this forum

Happy and Joyful New Year

Carol