Lying about surgery?

Hi everyone! With my surgery date pending (January 19th) I have been forced to tell my co-workers I will be out for two weeks. My work is like many others, information spreads like wild fire and nothing is containable. To avoid the entire place knowing, I have been telling people that I am having hernia surgery. I figure this covers the stomach problems I may have afterwards, as well as the weight loss and strict diet I have been on so far. 

I am not ashamed of my surgery, I just know how judgmental the people I work with are. I am the only overweight person here, at least this overweight. Most of my coworkers are very fit, so no one is understanding. I have told one single person, and I am hoping she can keep it to herself :P

I feel guilty, all the lying, but I just don't think its anyone's business. Has anyone else felt the need to lie? Did it turn out okay? I have been losing weight pretty fast already, just on my diet, so it will not be a shock when I lose more. Since mid-July I have lost 106 pounds, so the continued weight loss will not seem out of place, but I am still nervous. 

I wish I hadn't lied, but now its out there, and going back would be even worse. 

Has anyone else done this? Do you regret lying? I feel like an idiot now for doing it. 

I thought about using a white lie to cover the surgery, but in the end, it didn't sit well with me, and I chose to share the information. 

But you have every right to privacy in this matter, and you should not be concerned about telling a white lie to protect your privacy.  Don't waste energy questioning yourself.  It harms no one, and you deserve the privacy that it protects.

best wishes,

Carol

My private life is just that.....private!  I have a couple of part time jobs. The bosses are not allowed to ask the type of surgery and none did.   One person asked me what kind of surgery I had(we are more friendly than just co-workers) and I said hiatal hernia.  I do not regret keeping my private life private at all.

Since you have already lost a significant amount of weight, continued weight loss should not get too much attention.

The fact that you told that one person might be an issue for you, let's hope this person respects your friendship honors your request for privacy.

Initially I only told a couple of people.. It was need to know basis..  but if someone asked me later if I had WLS- I wouldn't lie... 

now I am more open about that... 

I still believe it is noone business what surgery you are having... but- if yo are asked in the future - don't lie - it is not worth losing credibility over things like taht...

Beware that such a lie can be a career-limiting action in the future if it comes out.  Since you told one person, they are likely to confide in someone else and ask them to promise to keep it to themselves.  Before you know it, everyone is keeping your secret and looking at you as a liar.  Even with this subject being a personal one, it's a stigma you cannot shake off easily, if at all.

Personally, I would either tell people the whole truth, or tell them nothing, and to mind their own business. But I'm with Valerie on the pitfalls of lying.

There are plenty of people who are ok with saying they had hernia surgery, because they also did have a hernia fixed. And that they lost weight by eating low calorie, and exercising. They did those things as well. But they are still lies, when you intentionally leave out the weight loss surgery part.

Hey, we all lie. When someone asks me if their ass looks fat in those pants, I lie through my teeth. I break laws, too. I drive a little over the speed limit, and rarely come to a complete stop at stop signs. In this instance, only you can decide if this is a lie that you ought to tell.

I had no problem telling people I was having/had surgery.  They have seen me diet and they know it was a struggle besides that, trying to explain my 86# loss in 4.5 months would have been hard!! The thing that surprised me was all of the support I got... and from people I least expected it from!

You may be able to get away with a lie at first, but when your weight starts dropping off, they'll know. Massive weight loss can't be hidden. If your coworkers are as judgmental as you say, they'll be even more so when they guess the truth and realize you've been lying to them. 

If you tell them the truth, you may be surprised at the amount of support you get. You don't have to give them details -- just say you've had weight loss surgery and you don't care to discuss it beyond that (except to graciously accept the kudos you'll get as your weight loss becomes apparent!). 

Lying about WLS is like lying about pregnancy. Sure, it's your own private business, but sorry, it's out there for everyone to see!

psychoticparrot

I have never lied about my surgery, and I've never had anyone say anything negative about it, other than my best friend.  She wasn't super negative, but did question why I would go to such extremes to get the weight off.  Everyone has been supportive of the surgery, the weight loss and have been very encouraging.  If you tell everyone, then there is no reason for gossip.  If you lie, then they would have reasons to question why you didn't tell the truth in the first place.  I agree with Grim, either tell the truth or don't say anything at all.  It's none of their business what you are doing, so wait until the surgery becomes obvious before saying anything.  If they ask why you lied, tell them that you didn't want anyone to talk you out of it.  

Screw them. They are not worth lying to or feeling bad about. You are doing this for YOU not them.

If you don't like the fact I had WLS to better my self you can kiss my ass. Judge that missy.