Telling the Family

SO I haven't really told any o my family members that I have decided to have VSG. My kids know but that is it. I was afraid that they would try to talk me out of it and after the research I have done and all of the wonderful results you guys have had, I am determined to go through with it. My sisters and I are very close and I don't think that I will be able to hide it from them when we have Sunday dinner at my mom's house and I am not eating. I am not ready to tell my mom yet because although I am 43 years old, she is going to freak out. But anyway my sisters and I are getting together this weekend for a girls get away and so I am going to break the news then. Wish me the best!

Hi,  I can understand your concern about sharing this information.  The first few people I told had strange reactions... like the friend who told me that "if you'd just give up that low carb diet, you'd lose weight!"  Right! or others who thought it was the easy way out.  Or the acquaintance who figured it out, and then asked me what I was going to do about all the excess skin - as if this was something I wanted to discuss with someone who is nearly a stranger!  sigh

I thought about a cover story, a white lie so people would think I had surgery for something else.  But I couldn't bring myself to misrepresent it.  So I changed the way I told people, and the negative comments stopped.  I'd tell people that I had been struggling with my weight for a long time, and that I was working with a medical team at Lahey to address the problem and that they recommended that WLS was the best decision  for my health.  When I presented it in this medical context, people didn't second guess me. 

Good luck telling your family.  I think they will rally around you when they realize that it is the best decision for your health long term.

Carol

Thank you for the positive feedback. I like that explanation you gave I might try that.

If they try to talk you out of it, be ready with the facts about obesity and effectiveness of the surgery compared to dieting alone. 5% of folks are succussful with dieting alone. Odds are not in your favor without surgery. Hang in there and don't back out. I elected to tell my extended family after I was done. It was the right call for me, and it seems that you have thought this out. Hold your ground and remember that it is normal to get a little jittery right before, so don't chalk that up to not being ready or making it easier to talk you out of it!

I didn't tell anyone and still haven't.  There are only 4 people who know other than the medical people:  me, my husband, his brother and my friend.  For me, it's no one else s business.  If I thought they would be supportive, I would tell them.  Being nosy isn't being supportive.

Oh, my parents aren't living so I didn't struggle with that end of telling or not telling...

When your family sees how healthy and happy you are post surgery they will understand.  I am a year out and have lost 103 pounds and no longer have sleep apnea, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.  Anyone who isn't happy for you with those types of results do not really understand how important this surgery is for your well being.  God bless!

I'm a little more hard nosed when it came to this aspect.  I openly would tell anyone that asked because people noticed the change in appearance.  It was not open for discussion however.  I didn't spend one minute justifying it other than to say doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity.  I couldn't yo-yo diet any longer.  

You will hear it all....my mom had the best, I'm concerned about your health....mind you she said this when I weighed 190 not 336....#&$*^%*! What??  Good luck and if you are committed, you have made a great decision!

Well I talked to my family and everyone is supportive. #sigh of relief