Thinking of backing out. Feel like failure and not mentally prepared. Anyone else done this?

   Hey all. Thinking I am going to back out of my surgery. I am scheduled to have VSG on December 21st. Been a big boy all my life 360 plus pounds and 5'11. I'm currently in "OK" health, but want to get a hold on my weight before the bad happens. I really want to have a long life, just don't feel that I am 100% prepared for the surgery. I still feel that I need to prepare myself mentally for this. I would hate to go into this thing not having the right mindset. After starting pre op liquid diet, this thing really hit me in the face and said. "It's real now, bro. You aren't ready."

Anyone else have this problem?

D

don't do it if you are not ready and not ready to commit 100% to new lifestyle.  it is OK to wait...

but .. what you also may be experiencing - what most of us did a few days before surgery - "cold feet" "This is real...and once you have it - it is not going back..."  

Make sure you are ready...  for the good (losing weight, being more mobile); the bad - nausea -problem eating, getting sick..limited diet...etc etc.. 

Hey there Onion!

I think you are going through what most of us do. Start thinking of how different our life will be after the surgery. Heck I was anxious all the way to when they wheeled me back to the OR. You do have to be in the right mindset however, it is so much easier to stay with what was comforting us. Food...a lot of it..all of the time. Change isn't easy. This certainly is not an easy way out as many think. It takes discipline and a change of lifestyle. I don't know of anyone on here that has said they wished they had never done it. I am on my two weeks post op and I already am so glad that I've had this done. I feel ten times better. and like you I was probably the healthy fat person around. I had no high BP, no diabetes, nothing. I am already much happier than I was before with myself. People say they can tell.

I will tell you this. after the surgery the fact that you aren't hungry changes your outlook on food. It is food for energy, health and survival. It's not about comfort anymore. There is always going to be fear of can I do this whether now or later. Expect that you will slip up later on and that's ok.  Your body will pretty much tell you "hey you weren't supposed to eat that" and then you are back on track.

I wish you the best of luck! there is a lot of support on here. People that have or are going through the same thing you are in one way or another.

Tink

If you are not ready for the commitment then wait.  I think the better question is why did you want to do this in the first place and are those reasons still valid?  Change is scary and hard.  There is no way for me to explain the change that WLS can make.  I don't hear I wish I hadn't done this.  What I do hear is I wish I had done this sooner.  The pre op liquid diet is tough.  But it is a short term thing.  Best wishes.

I am 22 days post op. The pre-op diet sucked out loud. after about 5 days though it was like a switch being thrown and it was pretty easy, mostly like because the body had entered ketosis. I know I was second guessing myself up until they rolled me into the OR. I was ready to jump off the gurney and grab my clothes and take off, obviously I didn't. If you aren't ready, then don't do it, but I will tell you, I am glad I did. Including the pre-op diet time, I have lost 61 pounds in like 35 days. The only pill I take now is my claritin for my allergies. It's also not like you will be on the liquid diet forever. I had the same thoughts in the beginning, this sucks. I made it through Thanksgiving with no issue, I actually sent my better half to her folks for the holiday week and I just went through it solo, the day after Thanksgiving I took a 115 mile drive up to a casino and ended up walking right past their humongous buffet on the way to the blackjack tables and the aroma was mind boggling, that said, it didn't even phase me like I thought it would. You just aren't that hungry anymore and if you do feel hunger, it is more than likely stomach acid build up that mimics hunger in which case I pop a prilosec and in 20-30 minutes it's gone. Do yourself a favor, just do it, I too was on the fence for years trying to get past the mental block of this surgery changes you forever, well it does, but for the better. Your call.....good luck.

Why do you feel you are not ready? I was pretty nervous and it really hit me when I was sitting in the hospital waiting for the surgery, but I thought about how many times I tried to lose weight and did but gained it back. I decided this was a tool to help me lose the weight and I am now determined to keep it off. My surgery was almost 8 weeks ago, I honestly have not had a hunger pain since. I have thought about eating but realized I was not really hungry and just took a couple sips of water until the thought passed. Just Sunday I was hanging in a bar, drinking water, the guy next to me was eating chips, a woman came sat next to me and was eating grilled chicken salad and the bar announced they had left over pizza and heated it up with free servings. There was not even a thought to eat any as I knew I was not hungry and had a goal. The day before the surgery was the last time I took medication for diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol. All my blood work in now under control with no meds. 

Pre surgery jitters, cold feet etc is pretty common. All kinds of thoughts race thru your head, you start thinking of going back to doing it on your own, 1 more time, etc, etc.

I remember being in the waiting room with my stylish cap,gown & booties & thinking its not too late. I can leave now, try 1 last time. Then I remember the reasons why I'm doing it. The research I've done. My previous dieting attempts & finally what I look forward to. I took a slow breath & let them wheel me into the O.R. I've had no regrets since.

You do have to mentally prepare yourself for this new life & if you're not ready, then wait. There's nothing wrong with waiting & re evaluating yourself. There's a guy on my job who's easily well over 400lbs & while he knows & asks about my surgery & others he's asked of also, mentally he isn't ready to take the plunge, no matter how much we encourage him to go for it. 

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

When you say you aren't ready is it because of the Pre-Op Liquid diet (which sucks) or is it because you haven't done the research and you feel not prepared for life after surgery?  Have you followed a hospital nutrition class/program?  Did you go through hurdles to get insurance approval?  I was terrified before my surgery- I'm not kidding.  Scared is an understatement.  I was absolutely unglued.  But after talking to some close friends I forced myself to write down what I was really afraid of.  I had done the research, attended the nutrition classes, attended Support groups with WLS patients that HAD the surgery.  If I wasn't prepared-nothing would prepare me more so did I want the surgery and a chance at a better life or not?  I decided I was worth having a chance at a better life.  The BEST DECISION I've EVER made for myself and my health. 

If you haven't attended some in person support groups with WLS patients- Do IT.  You will be crystal clear about your decision after that.  Good Luck and Best Wishes to you-

After I had lost about 40 pounds pre-surgery, I began to question if I could lose the weight on my own.  but then I had a stressful day, and I remembered to many times I had succeeded for a while only to go off the diet and gain all the weight back plus more. 

After the surgery, it is much easier to stay on plan.   The surgery changes your physiology - hormones, and ganglia in the stomach, as well as giving you the benefits of restriction.  I found it much easier to stick to plan after the surgery than any time before. 

Mindset is important.  There were several things that helps shape my mindset for success.  First, I had a friend/acquaintance who had the WLS about 5 years before me and was urging me to do it also.  When I finally decided to do it, I contacted her to tell her of my decision. She was so enthusiastic early on, but she had gained all the weight back in the last few years.  I realized then that failure is a real option, and I had to make a life-long commitment to managing my obesity.  I'm 2.5 years post op and I've been maintaining at my goal weight for over a year.  But it takes a constant commitment to the plan.

Another factor that helped me succeed was that my NP told me that more people die from Liver failure due to obesity than due to alcoholism.  I had a very fatty liver, even after the 3 month pre-surgery diet where I lost 50 pounds.  My obesity was diminishing my quality of life and it was going to kill me if I didn't take action.  I know I have to overcome it. 

I hope you find the right mindset so you can succeed at this.  I know you'll love the health and energy. 

best wishes,

Carol

If you aren't mentally ready, I would reconsider the surgery.  It's not a magic bullet that's going to make the weight miraculously disappear forever.  Losing and maintaining require constant vigilance and if your mind isn't in the right place, you will struggle.

I put it off for years.  When I finally decided to have the surgery, I was 100% committed to the program.  Go with your gut.  If it's telling you that now is not the time, don't do it.