Going a Little Crazy - Advice, please?

Good thoughts on the "not" instead of "can't", I can relate to that! You're also right about the disappointment with the indulgences. I'm enjoying eating so much more now than I did when I was eating carbs loaded with butter and cheese all day long. That was more frantic and furtive, not enjoyable at all, even though at the same time I didn't feel as though I could stop myself. I'm with you on the bread, too, I haven't had that since September, it is most definately a trigger for me. Thank you!

I am almost 18 months out and still dream about food, but they always turn into nightmares with me eating really bad foods and waaaay too much.  I wake up shaken then relieved that it was only a nightmare.

Oh, my, you just made me remember - I quit smoking maybe 25 years ago. I dreamed about cigarettes for probably 10 years after that, and many times I'd wake up smelling smoke and thinking "it's all over, I'm a smoker again" until I woke up completely and realized it wasn't true. Haha, this is what I have to look forward to! I can deal with it. I just need to stay with my therapist FOREVER. :) Thanks for your response! :)

typical anxiety - jitters before surgery. 

go for dinner tonight- if you are like me - you may realized that the idea of the food tasted better than the food instead... (my last major meal before my WLS was horrible ) 

After that - try to relax...  (yea , easier said than done). Hot bath helps me.. and since after the surgery you will be limited for 4-6 weeks to get a hot bath - enjoy!!!

Treat that sort of food as just body poison, ........... think of the end game. Mind set is the hardest part, the surgeon probably could do the work semi blind fold ....... (BUT WON"T) as for your mind hunger that is far more difficult but follow those here they have been through it!!! and still go through it daily ............ as di I

Best wishes

Ah, heck, let's call a spade a spade. To me yours is a clear case of food mourning. Those of us with food issues and "All or Nothing" thinking have the last meal mentality before every diet. You know, it's that "I'm never going to eat _______ again! I must have it now before it's too late!" That type of thinking has my name written all over it and I'm sure it's responsible for at least 50 pounds of my previous obesity! 

What you're going through is perfectly normal and happens to many, many people. Some therapists refer to it as The Last Supper Syndrome. It is so common among those of us with food issues, it's unreal! Know that you are not alone in this thinking. There is nothing wrong with you. This food craving and searching is a perfectly normal response for someone with food issues. Own it and be okay with it. 

The truth is that you will be able to eat any and all of those foods again - much sooner than you'd like, most likely. What is going to be important is that when you can eat those foods again that eating them becomes a choice and not a compulsion. 

Some people swear off junk carbs for life. I have not. Yes, they have been a challenge and will always be for me, but I can't engage in all or nothing thinking anymore. It's really detrimental for me personally. What I do know though, is that when I eat a cookie or a sweet treat that I am opening myself up for cravings. So, when I choose to eat off plan and indulge in a sweet treat, I have to be ready to fight the fight that will follow. When I don't have it in me to fight the fight, I steer clear. When I know I'll be okay, I may indulge. Most of the time now I don't. I have only a few pounds to get back to my goal weight, so I'm a bit focused at the moment. 

Anyhow, please know you're not crazy and you will have ample opportunity to deal with your thoughts processes around food in the months and years to come. It's a journey. There is no time limit to learn how to deal with your food issues. Sure, the sooner the better, but...I was a slow learner and am grateful for the lessons I've had to learn. 

Best of luck next Friday. Keep us posted and welcome.

I will make a short list of things that helped me, and I am/was very similar in the pattern you described:

1. You MUST get all of the crap food out of your house. I applaud you for staying out of it, but it is a recipe for derailing for sure. Even now, 4 years out and at goal, if it is in the house I eat it. Period. Get it out, and don't let it back in. 
2. Is it possible you are an emotional eater? You find out about surgery, you start having issues... similar to what I do. Try to find things to distract you. I used to keep a list on the fridge of things to do instead of eat. 
3. Keep easy and convienent healthy options to grab, instead of grabbing something less than ideal.
4. Plan for your food needs at work or out, etc.
5. Stay out of restaurants for now. If you are drawn to them due to the bad choices, just don't go. 

Hang in there, and I am excited for you that it is in a week!

Sheryl, First of all congratulations on your surgery date, it one day after mine. I'm on an all liquid pre-op ( I can have as much sugar free jello and as many sugar free popsicles I want as part of it) and have been since 12/2/15. It sucked out loud at first but now it is easier. I've found decaf tea I love (Good Earth Sweet and Spicy) and use that to get most of my water in because I struggle with plain fla****er. I love sugar free popsicles for something to chew. If I were you I'd get protein powder and just do liquids until surgery to kick the carb addiction now because if you're like me you will get massive headaches from no carbs that can last days. I understand you wanting to have "last meals" or "food funerals" whatever you want to call them. I forlornly drive my my favorite fast food places (I literally can't avoid driving by them on the way home from work) and wish I could stop for just one McDonald's hash brown or just one of my favorite burritos from Atilano's, but what you are doing is worth it. Once I found out I was having surgery I gave away or threw away every crappy, bad for you food in my house. I literally only have eggs (from before I was on liquids), coconut and almond milk, pb2 powdered peanut butter for my shakes and protein powder in my house. I threw out rices, pastas, ramen, all my baking stuff except baking soda (since it's good for cleaning). I believe in you, you can get through this! If you have to have stuff for your husband you can look at putting a small lock on one of your kitchen cabinets that only he  has a key to. If that's what it takes that is what it takes. You are changing your life for the better! Keep us posted! And cheesy as it sounds you go girl!