Pending surgery, having second thoughts. If you had to do it all again, would you?

I am four monthes + one week post op, a mom, and a grandma, and yes I would do it all over again.  I wish I had known about this along time ago.   It's normal to have doubts and fears, but I think you will see that it is so worth conquering your fears, and taking control of your future - your life!  I have not experienced any pain whatsoever.  None.   I will tell you from experience..I think most women here will agree.  You will regain the weight you've lost to date - especially with a pregnancy. And that, as you well know will be miserable.  Losing the weight, gaining a sense of control over your body and your eating will be a challenge - but becoming a mother is a challenge!  Few things that are worthwhile come easily.  Consider the example you will be to your child!  I say go for it, and don't look back as far as the surgery. Have a baby when you and your body and your health are really ready, not because your friend is doing it.  She may be having second child by then to grow up with yours.  My 2 cents...shared with love.

I am over 3 years post op. I have had amazing success with some weight gain lately and without a single moment of thought I would absolutely without a doubt do it again. You are in for a rough patch and if you want pre-op advice please feel free to email me at [email protected]. I will be glad to tell you my story. My ups, my downs, where I am today, what the pitfalls are. How it both ruined my life and made it the best decision I have ever made.

I would recommend VSG to people I hate (as well as love).

The pain was minimal after surgery.  The struggle was in being SMO, not losing weight after the VSG.

It has truly changed my life and I am grateful that I took this step to improve my quality of life.  It wasn't about how I looked, but how I felt.

Please please please have the surgery before you have a baby!

Tell your mother in law to get a puppy. Or a cat. Tell your bestie that she can wait to have HER baby if she wants them that close in age so badly.

Kiss your husband for wanting what is best for YOU.

You are still clinically, morbidly obese. That's a medical condition. And the morbidly obese part is the part about being so obese it will kill you. Often later rather than sooner, but eventually. Your baby needs you for the later part too! It's great you are working the diet and loosing , every bit helps, but you KNOW that you will just gain it back in the future (95% blah blah blah ; -)

I struggled with my weigh all my life, but managed it. Until I had my baby at 31. I gained 30 lbs while I was pregnant. I lost 15 lbs the night I had her (premie) and then I never lost another pound. By the time she was 6 I weighed 220 and at 5 foot that was a LOT. I could barely walk, my hips and knees hurt all the time (separate congenital issues, but ones that were exacerbated by the weight) and there was no end in sight. It was awful. I needed a cane to walk out of the house even, and a wheel chair for long excursions.

My Dr asked me to consider the surgery and I did because I trust him. I did a ton of research and at the end of the day I had the full DS, which gave me the sleeve to reduce intake and the switch to protect me from fats and additional calories in general. I lost the 120 lbs in a year. I felt awful much of the time. when your body is going thru all these medical traumas and healing from the surgery and then suffering from what is basically a year of starvation level famine, you are NOT gonna look or feel great all the time.

But at the other end of it your system heals and stabilizes, your skin and hair come back into condition, your energy levels come up and life gets so SO good.

Wanna know the very best day of it all for me? The day I was walking my little girl to school and she calls out, from a few feet behind me, "Mama, wait, you're going too fast!!"

Hello? Oh my ever loving god, I would NEVER have heard those words from her before the surgery. Before the surgery she helped push the chair for me or ran and got me things because movement was difficult.

I turned around and smiled at her and held out my hand and said "Oh no Katy Rose, you catch up to Mama! We are WALKING!!"

It was the very best thing that ever happened to me. My wedding day was the second best day, because that day I did a wonderful thing for myself when I married my loving supportive spouse, but I wasn't surprised to be getting married. I WAS surprised to be walking faster than my 7 year old daughter!

I know when you are wanting to get on with your life a year or two seems like forever. It is not. Have the surgery, loose your weight, heal and get healthy and have a healthy pregnancy that you can enjoy and then have the time of your life being a wife and mommy among all the other things you are.

That little girl is 22 now. I am still 110, fit and happy and healthy. I can still walk and be active, even if those hips hurt occasionally and I have managed to delay hip replacement surgery for decades. Am I looking forward to the time in the future when she has a baby of her own and I get to be a grandmama? Oh yes, of course. But I would never want her to have a baby because of my desire to buy cute baby clothes and spoil a grandchild. And if she were in your situation I would NEVER want her to have a baby and be trapped in an enormous unhappy body, with the additional challenge of trying to loose baby weight afterwards. How many fat girls you know who are smaller after they have their babies???

Take care of you first. They you will be able to be an even more fabulous mommy, and enjoy it even more! Best of luck!!

6 years later i am totally happy with my decision.  how could i not be happy with going from 247 lbs to 128?     

but you have to be willing to work at changing habits and accepting a new relationship with food.  its not like pushing the easy button but well worth the effort.  i was lucky to have an easy surgery and recovery. lost slowly but steadily.  no regrets here.   diane

I am a child counselor, and no good ever comes from having children because someone else wants you to.  I see this multiple times a week.  Also, your kids can still grow up together if they are not the same exact age.  Also worth considering is that I see clients all the time where their kids are the same age as their BFF's kids and their children can't stand each other.  I think wanting to start a family is great!  It is up to you and no one else, because you are the expert on what your needs are.  Other people's needs are not your needs.  You are your husband need to sort that out - no one else has to live with the consequences of that, good or bad.  You could easily wait for surgery if you wanted to have kids sooner, but if you are not worried about fertility you can just as easily wait to conceive.  Adipose tissue stores and creates estrogen and estrogen-like substances which makes it hard to have children, which is one of many reasons fertility spikes with weight loss drastically.

Many women now conceive in their late 30's or early 40's due to starting a career, going to grad school, etc.  It's also extremely hard to be both obese and pregnant.  Taking care of a newborn as a morbidly obese person is also really difficult.  I think it sounds like family is super important to you, but that you want to be healthy to be able to start your family.  I think being healthy first is absolutely 100% a good idea, if that is your inclination.  

Surgery is 1000x easier than staying obese, hands down.  Even though I still need to lose like 150 pounds, the 110 I lost have given me such great freedom.  My pain is higher, but that's because I'm moving around three or four times as much, and the old joints aren't used to it.  I'll take it!

Most importantly this is your life which you share with husband. So you want the surgery and he supporting your choice so go for it. Ignore your best friend and your MIL. You will be a healthier, happy mom after you lose the weight. A pregnancy will be easier to go through and running around after a toddle easier along with every other thing you want to do with your child.

Most of us don't have side affects that make life hell. What are you referring to?  Most of us have lost weight, over and over again. Somehow it always comes back. Probably because at some point we give in to the hunger..even if it just in our heads. After surgery you will feel so less hungry and head hunger will be easier to deal with. Once you start to feel thinner, prettier etc it is so much easier to involve temptations that would take those feelings away.

I would recommend surgery to anyone I love. I would hold their hand in the hospital, go home with them and care for them as they recovered and support them every step of the way. The health issues caused by obesity are pretty much guaranteed to get to you (or them)at some point. Surgery has its risks  yes but they are far lower than your chances of being sick due to overweight.

Ignore the nay sayers and deal with this for yourself and marriage.

Good luck

Getting close to 6 years post op.  I'd do it again this afternoon.  Best health decision, ever.  I'm 65 a feel like I'm 45.

It is a lot to think about. Here are a few things that I know. Only 5% can lose the weight and keep it off without surgery. Odds are not in your favor. Ignore other people's opinions. I know it is hard, but must squarely focus on what is best for you. If you pulled off a 100 pounds already you are a highly committed type, and have an excellent shot with the surgery. If it were me, I would not back out. Most of us would tell you in a heartbeat that we all wished we would have done it sooner. 

Well, let's see.  Remain obese, unhealthy, childless, sweaty, likely future diabetic along with other probable comorbidities, or opt for a healthier life with less fast food and crap food and be miserable?  Makes no sense. Being healthy, eating healthy does NOT make you miserable. Quite the contrary. When you realize how much better your life is without all the weight, sacrificing a life of McDonald's meals is no price to pay. Your quality of life will improve 1000 percent, no question. NO question.