Pending surgery, having second thoughts. If you had to do it all again, would you?

Hi everyone. I am currently about a month out from my surgery and am really getting nervous now. I am so afraid to make a mistake, to do the wrong thing. This surgery could either change my life for the better, which I hope, or ruin it, and that scares me. My main goal for the surgery is not necessarily to be skinny, but to be healthy enough to start a family. 

I am so afraid that side effects are going to make my life a living hell. Will I be skinnier? Probably, but will I be miserable? I dont know. I have people in my life telling me they support me no matter what decision I make, but everyone has a hidden opinion that they are not great at hiding. 

My best friend wants me to have a baby, so that her baby and mine can grow up together. Well tough, I am not ready for a baby, I am way too overweight for that. She wants me to visit an OBGYN before I get surgery, to see if surgery is even necessary. 

My mother in law is the same way, she doesnt want to wait 18 months for me to start trying to have a baby. She tells me I am doing so great on my own, why not just continue? (on my own I have lost about 98 pounds so far). If I did it this way, could I have a baby sooner? But what if I fail again and gain it all back? That puts me even later in life to try again. But what if I succeed?  See the problem is, I am 33 years old. If I have surgery in January, I wont be able to start trying to conceive for 18-24 months, according to my doctor. That is a long time for someone my age. My MIL doesnt want to wait anymore, she also thinks I should go to the OB now. 

My husband tells me he supports whatever decision I make, but he thinks the surgery would be best. 

Everyone has an opinion, except me. I do not know what I want. Well, I know what I want, I want to be healthy enough to start my family, but what is the best way to accomplish that? 

Ugh, sorry I am rambling...basically my question is this, in all honestly would you recommend VSG to someone you love? Has it been worth all of the struggle and pain? Would you do it again knowing what you know now? 

Thank you!

I basically had the same dilemma, but I am older (had surgery at 39 and I am now 41).  We have been trying to conceive for many years but due to my weight and PCOS we have not been able to.  My doctor says that I have a much better chance to conceive now that I have lost the weight but we still have not been able to.  I don't think anyone can help you with this decision as it is too important.  All I can say is that I would definitely not change a thing with having had surgery.  I was able to lose a little with diets but always would gain it back plus some and never lost the amount that I have now.  I have not been this weight since my teenage years and I have never been happier.  Whatever you decide, I would say for you to do what is right for you, not what is right for other people.  Don't let others influence your decision.  Good luck to you!

It's the best thing i've ever done. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, and recommend it to anyone.

I wouldn't let your best friend or your MIL dictate the choices you make for your own health.  It's your body, and your choice.  (And, seriously, how creepy is it that these other people are so invested in your procreation?  That's just gross.)  

I would, and have, recommended VSG to those I care about.  It's been 100% worth it.  See the post I just made, actually, to see how great my life is now.  I'm so thrilled.  :D

Not a single regret.

Much less struggle and pain especially when you compare the struggle and pain before surgery.  I could have never imagined the difference.

Getting this surgery has been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I would do it again in a heartbeat. My only regret is not getting it done sooner - thinking it was a "drastic" option and constantly trying and failing to do it on my own. Unfortunately, statistics are against people who do have a history of yo-yo'ing weights, and even the National Institute of Health recognizes "bariatric surgery as the only effective treatment to combat severe obesity and maintain weight loss in the long term." I wanted that extra insurance because I was tired of living my life up and down on the scale.

You really have to be honest with yourself about the surgery, what it means, and whether you're ready for it. It looks like you've been really successful so far on your own. That's a great sign. It typically means that you'll continue that success once you have this awesome tool to help you even more.

Yes, your life HAS to be different afterwards, otherwise the surgery will not work for you, but at no point in the 6 months I've lived post-op, have I ever felt miserable. I eat foods I love, that are on-plan and feel fulfilled. You also never know if you will even have any or many side effects. I had none whatsoever (no gas pains, no big acid issues, no issues with food tolerance of any kind, etc.). While it's good to be educated about what can possibly happen after, you can't go into it thinking it only of those things and expecting them. You have to listen to your body. Each person's journey is unique.

And 1,000% to what Gwen said. Why are these people so involved in such a personal topic? I am 32 years old, and while I love that my sleeve will help me possibility have children and be healthier for and through that process, I would never allow anyone to dictate what I should or shouldn't do in that regard. My doctor doesn't have a specific time goal for me to wait. They only recommend that I not start trying until after my weight has stabilized for a few months, as it's unhealthy for rapid weight loss during pregnancy. Typically most people's weight stabilizes between 18-24 months. I would rather wait and get a little older, than expose a fetus to the potential of the many side-effects that can occur due to pregnancy while obese. If it's a concern for you, I would also schedule a time to speak with my ob-gyn and get their opinion on your options for pregnancy at 35/36, etc.

It's hard, but you need to ditch anyone else's opinion on reproduction but YOUR OWN. You are your own person, and don't need the pressure from anyone else on having a baby. 

That being said, I had my surgery when I was 28 and it was hands down the best decision I've made. I would do it all over again workout a thought. I did have the surgery for my overall health, but also to help me conceive when I see fit. 

You need to get to a place where you know in your heart what is the right decision. Clear out all the nonsense from others, even if they are people you love. 

BEST decision I ever made in my life, and yes me too, I'd do it again. Yes, there will be a little struggle and pain in the beginning, maybe, because everyone's experience is different. Then life begins! This surgery is very personal. I also feel that other people out there aren't educated on WLS and may try to sabotage your decision. You need to decide is this something you want for yourself, for a better chance in getting healthy. Good luck. PS: I was 35 when I had my daughter.

One of my best decisions ever.  

Best decision I ever made - wish I did it sooner.  No regrets, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.  It's normal to question the decision because it is a life-changing surgery - but it changed my life for the better.

Mary