I am so depressed and beating myself up. I have my VSG in dec 2011. My lowest weight was 165. I never reached my goal of 150 :(. I maintained my weight until this past winter/spring/summer. I had several foot and leg surgeries and was non weight bearing for 8 weeks. The pain has been unbelievable at times. My son and his wife seperataed which for someone reason caused me great heartache and depression. I love them both so much and she was such a great friend/ daughter. Well now I'm making excuses. I have gained 20 pounds since March!!! :( I was eating cookies and drinking diet Pepsi to address my inward pain. Help Help HELP How do I get back on track and will I ever reach goal?

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Go back to basics. Dense protein first. Cut out all white carbs -- sugar, flour, pasta, potatoes, etc. Cut othercarbs to a minimum.

Start weighing your food, and logging every bite on some app like MyFitnessPal. Every bite. Then lower calories until you start losing.

You can do this, but it's going to take some time and dedication.

I don't think you need tough love.  I think you need encouragement!  I'm so sorry about your son's separation.  I think watching our children struggle is even harder than dealing with our own pain!  And its hard to manage weight when we are so accustomed to using food as a way of self-care.

With several years of successful maintenance, you know what to do.   First break the carb addiction.  then get back to healthy foods - dense proteins and low carb veggies.  Weigh and measure and log your food.  You can do this!

I'll hold you and your son and his family in my prayers.

Carol

I would make a promise to yourself to make a plan (Grim's is excellent) and stick to it!! The mental part is definitely the hardest. Forgive yourself and move forward from here. No more excuses. You have to believe you are worth the effort. Best wishes!!

Are you seeing a therapist?  If not, I'd recommend working on finding one as soon as you can.  

I completely understand your distress. I've been there. My VSG was also done in December 2011. I had regain - more than yours. So having been in your shoes, my advice is a bit different from those who have already posted. I do not believe it's simply a matter of choosing the right plan and committing to stick to it - not coming back from where you are anyway.

Your regain was emotionally charged. Sure, it had to do with what you put in your mouth, but the reason behind the eating was emotional discord. I strongly urge you to see a therapist to help you deal with the emotional upheaval you are dealing with. Family issues can be intense and it seems that you are mourning the "loss" of your daughter in law through divorce. It's not unusual to fall back on lifelong habits and stress reducers during intensely emotional times. I know that's exactly what I did.

You also need to NOT be angry or disappointed with yourself. What's done is done and as long as you hold on to the self disparaging attitude it will be hard for you to go forward and reach your goals. Being kind to yourself and understanding that you fell back on tried and true methods of soothing to get you through surgeries and your son's break up will be more productive in the long run.

Along with getting back on a good, solid eating program, I encourage you to look at the foods that don't work for you. Try to understand on a physical level what those foods do to you and how they also alter your mood - especially after you eat them. For me, it has turned out to be high sugar foods combined with flour and fat. I understand those foods come with consequences when I eat them. I know what they are now and that helps me avoid them far more easily.

You can get to goal. It is a choice - a choice that is going to involve a lot of hard work and dedication on your part. You will also have to understand that you're in it for the long haul. You won't be on a diet. You'll be working on changing the way you eat for the rest of your life, so it has to be sustainable. My biggest mistake was that I treated my WLS in some respects like a diet. When I was done losing weight there was a part of me that was "done". Now I know that just isn't the case. I will never be done and my obesity will only be in remission. Everything that caused me to become obese is still there, doing pushups, waiting for me to let my guard down. I stay on top of that now and know to the depth of my being that my eating behavior has consequences - both negative and positive.

Regain is a complex issue. I wish you the absolute best on your journey to goal. Posting today was an excellent start for this new leg of your journey.

Thank you so much for your response. I agree with counseling and continued life style change