what the #$@&$ is wrong with me..

Another vote for talking to a therapist and attending a support group. This is really hard. Surgery is not magic. I would suggest you think back to what motivated you to get surgery. Can you grab any of those feelings back? Ask your boyfriend and other friends to support you (not tempt you with fried chicken when you are struggling). You can get control back. Holidays..well find other things to enjoy than the food, like the feeling of getting smaller. I understand about not being able to find people locally to connect with. I don't even have a hospital support group, Weigh****chers. OA or anything like that with 35-40m miles of me. But we both have OH and all these great people here. As a final not you are NOT the only person who has done this or feels the draw to food like this...You can get back on track!!! Hugs to you.

I think you need to clean out your whole kitchen. This is what I do every so often when I need an intervention. Throw out ALL the crap. Chips, cookies, pasta, crackers, bread, chocolate, candy, WHATEVER. Replace with only the things you need like bottled water, protein shakes, Greek yogurt, beef, fish, turkey, cheese sticks. Surround yourself with only good choices and tough through it the first few days. When you are craving sweets and have a headache, have a cup of tea.

If you can't handle going to the grocery store without buying junk, have someone else do it for you. 

You got this surgery for you!

I would like to take a sec to the 18 people who took the time to respond to my post.  It means so much to me that you shared your feelings and ideas and food plans.. I want to share with all of you that I white knuckled it through the day... I will be going to a therapist on Sat. and promise to get on here every day and post instead of just stalking.  I will keep you all posted to keep me honest.  I think my biggest problem is that I think I know everything and I know squat..

Thank  you all again.

First go on diet you were on right after surgery . Call your doctor get an appointment now. I know all doctors are different but one of the first things My doctor told the group is nothing white no rice no pasta no potatoes ever if you want to loose and keep weight off. Maybe I would ask myself why would I ever eat pizza this close to surgery. I know a big life change is always weigh your food operation control. I know people who had surgery years ago when she goes out to a restaurant to eat she brings her diet scale no drinking with meals and chew chew chew. Shevis ten years out. It your life your stomach hour decision on what you do

I don't want to beat you up on here as you posted, as to your title of your comment, my answer would be a lot. Now that the momentary beat up is over, let's get down to reality. First if I offend, I apologize in advance, I am not politically correct and I tend to be honest more than some people appreciate, that said, no one will ever accuse of me of misrepresentation. I am not implying anything, but some people are mentally strong and some aren't. My suggestion is see your nutritionist, I would also go and see a therapist that deals with weight loss, such as the shrink you most likely met during your pre-surgical requirements. I would also purge your house of all the garbage foods you shouldn't be eating, if it's not there, you aren't going to be able to eat it. Like someone else said, if you have pizza, grab a slice and east the meat and cheese off of it and toss the crust. While that processed garbage isn't good for you, it's the lesser of two evils. It's a hard road, we did't get this way overnight, it won't solve itself either. Just like an illness, you can go south really fast and it take a long time to recover. For example with myself, I used to drink diet dr. pepper for like ever, I gave up all sodas for almost 2 years ago, it was one of the hardest things I ever did, I had the caffene withdrawls for almost six months, now that I am long since off it, I don't even think about it. A lot of it is mental, part of it is having things you shouldn't within your proximity. If I stocked my house with reese's and chips, and so on, I would probably nibble on them, convincing myself that a little bit won't hurt, and so on. the problem is like any addiction, a little bit becomes a bit more then a bit more until you are chowing down on it all. If you have people in your life who are sabotaging you, then it's time to re-evaluate your friendships with them. Bottom line is only you can make yourself succeed or fail, the fact that you are reaching out on here shows you want to succeed, so the ball is in your court, you don't have to travel this journey alone, but you are the one who has to walk it and I think most will tell you, the first steps are the hardest, but once you are in motion, you tend to stay in motion. Good luck.

Ok, I am going to be more blunt than most.  Your sleeve has definitely not failed you. You have failed your sleeve.  I got mine 10 days after yours and have lost nearly 75 pounds.  I'm sorry, but it is hard for me to imagine how it would even be possible to lose so few pounds in that first 5 months.

Your problem is 100% psychological, and it is quite serious.  We are all food addicts, but you have it hard core.  You will never have success until you begin to understand your addiction.  Get to OA.  Not tomorrow...today.  Get to a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in addiction ASAP. And I'll say it again...GET TO OA!!!  Find meetings you can handle, get a sponsor, and keep going and going.

You can do this.  And your sleeve is still there waiting to help you.  But you have to help you first.

ok Mathew.. now let me be blunt by saying I am not sure who you think you are to come at me the way you just did. You know nothing about me... you might want to know that the heaviest I have every been in my adult life is 256lbs.. of which I lost over 70 of thos lbs with MY WILL POWER and the help of OA. Over the last 2 and 1/2 years I gained back 30 due to a tremendous amount of life stress.. While trying to make healthy food choices and working out the weight would not come off.. I made the choice due to health issues that I would have the surgery to help get me back to where I was and get back to living healthy and working out as I have in the past. I currently weigh 187lbs.  I hae never had or never will allow myself to have to loose 75 lbs..

I carry myself with dignity and most people think I weigh around 150..Where I want to be has nothing to do with anyone but me. Most people did not even think I need the surgery.

I have to say that everyone (I think I had 19 replies) were so kind and supportive that I was able to get myself back on track knowing that I am normal and **** happens.  I am not sure where you got your social work degree but you might have to learn some bedside manner before you continue to post on here.

Thank you for you very blunt opinions. Next time be kinder to the people on here and keep them to yourself.

woah, easy there honey.  You put your post out there, I responded honestly.  You say in this reply youself that you gained back 30 pounds "due to tremendous life stress."  My point exactly...the problem is psychological and emotional, NOT physical.  I was not at all unkind in my response.  Merely blunt, honest and to the point.  If you can't take that, I'm terribly sorry.  But that is on YOU, not me.  No need to come back at me with your beating up crap.  Beat yourself up if you'd like, not me. 

don't post your BLUNT responses if you can't handle a BLUNT response back..and again.. you don't know me so don't assume that you can call me honey.. Have a nice evening..maybe you should reread your post to me and see why I might have come back at you the way I did..

you are the one that has a problem with the bluntness, not me.  I did reread my post, BEFORE responding to your response.  There is nothing unkind there.

I suggest that YOU reread the posts.  Because you are obviously angry, but if you examine things objectively, you might realize that I'm not the one you are really angry at.

Just saying.