what the #$@&$ is wrong with me..

 I need some help... I don't want to get beat up but do need some help.. I think I am the only person on who has every posted this and I am ashamed and angry.. I have failed my surgery and don't know how to fix it..I had my guts  ripped out by choice (sleeve 6/9/2015)  I am five months out ..My total weight loss is like 25lbs.. which I have started to put back on.  I am able to eat a whole piece of pizza .I eat anything I want.. never get sick other then foamies a couple of times. Never threw up.. I have gone back to my old eating habits and start every day just the way I used to. Tomorrow will be a better day and it never is.. cant  stop eating sweets.. Now the holidays are coming and I have lost control.. WHO DOES THIS !!!! is there a way for me to get it .. so angry and lost ..I have been trying to find people in my area to connect with but have not been successful. ugghh sorry for the vent..

I am less than a month post-op and I can already feel the pull towards my old ways. My boyfriend brought fried chicken home tonight and 95% of my brain came up with every reason and way I would be fine to have some. Somehow the 5% convinced me that was a slippery slope and I stuck to plan. All that to say... You're not alone. 

My suggestions (and my plan if I do start giving into those temptations) is to call the program and set up an appointment with the nutritionist and to attend counseling to talk through the triggers and come up with some coping skills. 

I have my fingers crossed for you. You can get back on track!

First of all...don't beat yourself up!  You've come for help...so please accept it!  I think the vets will tell you to start now and get back to basics.  LOG EVERYTHING...no exceptions; protein first...minimum 60 gms daily; 64 oz water daily...minimum; and then...forget about eating carbs!  You've got to keep that number low if you have any hope of seeing significant weight loss.  If you log everything, you will see where your areas of weakness/concern are and can make changes.  You can do this...but you are going to have to focus and commit to the process.  It will be so worth it!!

They operate on our stomachs and not our heads. This is a journey of getting our thinking straight as well as doing the right thing food-wise. If you can get a therapist familiar with food disorders it would be great. Go to support groups if you aren't going. Come on here daily, you don't have to post everyday, but read and learn from others. You can do this. You have a tool, not a magic wand.

First of all, you can make a choice to change and the weight will come off. But the key is that you must make the choice.

No one needs to beat you up for this! You are doing that all by yourself. I will tell you from my personal experience that you need to lose the judgement and the anger directed at yourself. You will not be successful getting back on track as long as you are berating yourself and judging yourself for what you've done. You can't change the past. Instead, look toward the future and decide what changes you would like to make. 

Given the fact that you have been struggling for some time and so early out, I'm going to suggest that if at all possible you seek out a skilled therapist that deals with disordered eating. I know that therapy is not always an option, but it has proven to be helpful to many, including myself. 

One thing I have learned during my almost 4 years of being sleeved is that to get the most out of your new tool, you need to commit to adopting a new food life. You have to accept that you have issues with sweets and sugars and look realistically at how the effect those foods have on you physically and emotionally. When you really understand the way those foods are working or not working for you, you will be able to start making real progress.

Some basics for you to follow for now:

Log and track every bite you take. Plan your meals ahead of time. Shop for foods that promote weight loss and health and vitality. Stick to the following numbers each day:

80 grams of protein - minimum per day.

I'm so sorry, but once again OH lost half my post! Hopefully, this will go through. 

I know the beating your giving yourself is rough, so I won't rip into you to much. STOP! Take a sit and calm down for a bit. Rethink the reasons why you had this surgery and know that we all root for each other and wish of no failures, but It does happen. Have I f'd up during my last 18mnths? Heck yeah! No one is perfect, but you are to early out to be fighting with your sleeve.  Your sleeve is doing it's job, you are not. But why are you causing yourself to fail? Why are you sabotaging yourself? These are only answers you know and we don't. I would get to a nutritionist, my surgeon, and a psychiatrist very soon. 

I want you to vent away and connect with us. Log on here every day and be interactive. Ask questions, post your meal, do your daily progess, OH is your weight loss crew. I may not log on every day, but I have stalked this site for 2 years, it is the BEST. Let us help you, but first you need to get your mind together and get legit about this. 

The carb cycle you got yourself into is easily to fall in and hard to get out. So it's time to go cold turkey, you are an ADDICT. Go through the carb withdrawals and let this be a lesson learned. You will not progress until you BACK AWAY FROM THE CARBS.

*Take this from a recovering addict....as of 16 days lol. But, hey we all start somewhere. My addiction is not in remission yet but I'm getting there. 

I treat everything I do like I am in school and going to get a report card.   But I am the student and the teacher.  Everyday I rate myself on how I dress and do my hair.  I give myself a grade from A to F.

I grade myself on how clean the house is, how nicely the beds are made up, how my drawers and closets are organized, how my lawn looks, how clean the car is and how well my money is managed.

Some days I get lots of A grades.  Some days I give myself C's and some days there are nothing but F's.

With my weight loss surgery I was determined to be an A student.  So I used no sugar or flour or anything made with sugar or flour.  I had no potatoes, no rice, no corn, no peas, no noodles, no bread, no chips, no cereals, no ice cream, no soda, no candy, no cookies, no pie, no cake, no doughnuts, and no pizza.

All I ate was protein shakes, beef, chicken, turkey, ham, pork, sausage, cheese, hamburger, eggs and non-starchy vegetables. 

You have to make up your mind whether you are going to be  successful, average, or a failure at your surgery.  You have the ability to be a success and not everyone is smart enough to do this.  Whether you are going to use your brain and your tool and how well you are going to apply yourself to the task is up to you.

I'll give you an A plus for being a sweetheart.

Thanks, that is really sweet of you.