Spouse Support

My husband was very against me having the surgery when I first brought it up. He was worried about risk of complications, death, etc. What made him calm down was when he got the actual facts and figures of risk etc. The way my surgeon put it: Continuing to live the unhealthy life I was living and getting bigger year by year had a far, far greater risk of early mortality than the surgery did. I think this was a real wake-up call.

Ultimately, you know your body and you know when something has got to give. I have yo-yo'ed with my weight since I was 12 years old and I was so sick of the cycle - each time ending up heavier than the time before. If you're here and really considering surgery, you already know you don't want to be setup to fail again.

I am sure his ultimate concern is for your health, and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, but I think having him meet with the surgeon would go a long way. As others have mentioned, he sees only the side effects, not all the successful people who have thrived without complications post-op. Let him know how seriously you take this journey and that you wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your own success by not following doctor's orders (which is how a lot of post-op people end up back in the ER). Maybe he just needs to get used to the idea of it, like my husband did! :)

Thank you! I am going to try to be patient and see if he comes around to the idea. Or see if he will at least meet with the doctor with me. Right now he says he doesn't want to go to my consultation with me.

I have been considering the Sleeve for about a month now. He has only learned of my intentions for the two weeks. Hopefully he will come around. I was considering the Lap Band 5 years ago and I let him talk me away from that but this time the risks don't seem as scary and I hope he will see the same.

Hi Bethany! Thanks for sharing and for letting us in on your situation, It can be very raw to let strangers in on your life.  :)

I just wanted to say, so much of what you shared is familiar to me. I too have a spouse that is very fit, he actually is a marathon runner...and has never been more than 20lbs over weight. While he has always been loving and supportive, he truly can not understand what it is like to be me! he would often say, you just need to start running and eat less. I weigh 320lbs and struggle to carry the laundry upstairs! When my husband was questioning my choice early on I asked him to do me a favor...I asked him to load himself up with weights (backpack full of cans) weights on each limb etc and try to move around. He was only able to add about 75lbs to his body and was trying to sit in the back yard chair, bend over to pull weeds, throw the football with our son....it gave him a whole new perspective. It was funny... but also a great visual for him, he finally admitted that he doesn't know what I deal with and can respect my decision for MY body. I too am a nurse, I work 10hr shifts in the OR and can say I have seen alot of scary things...but I know that the benefits to my life and future far outweigh any possible risks. 

Blessings to you as you face this decision! 

He prolly knows this somewhere in the back of his head, but you might point out to him that obese bariatric patients are at high risk for ANY type of surgery. Which is why he sees so many with problems. And that as an obese person YOU will be at high risk when in the future you have to have any kind of surgery, for any reason. And that if you have the WLS now, before you get larger (because we all know that IS what happens) you will be healthier all around, much less likely to need surgery in the future, and better able to come thru it when you are older.