Newbie-A few questions

Hi.  I finally set up an account today and got the nerve to post for the first time.  I have been researching WLS since 2005.  Started with interest in LAP band.  I then met my now husband, got married and had 2 babies so I kind of put it off.  I have continued to go up and up in weight and I have been researching the VSG for the last 2.5 or so years.  I am done having kids and I am ready to take this huge step and change my life and be healthy and happy for me and my kids and husband.  My husband isn't 100% sure this is the right thing to do, as he thinks this is the "easy way out".  I have tried telling him that it in fact is not the easy way out it is a tool to help me become healthy!  If I don't utilize this tool for the rest of my life, it will not work.  Anyways, I haven't told anyone but my husband and my parents.  My parents support me 100% and I'm sure my husband will come around, he is a worry-wart and this is his "macho" way of handling this-if that makes sense. 

I met with my surgeon when I was pregnant with my son who is now 19 months old, and my original plan was to have surgery at 6 weeks post-partum so I would still be on maternity leave and no one would know that I went in to have surgery.  My surgeon and my primary doctor suggested I wait until my baby was a little older so I could focus more on me and my new lifestyle rather than this huge change along with a brand new baby with a crazy schedule.  I now am meeting with my surgeon Nov 11 and hopefully get this ball rolling again to get approved and surgery scheduled. 

I intend on not telling anyone other than my employer, my parents and my husband.  I'm not ashamed to have this surgery, I'm just a private person and don't feel that it is really anyone else's business.  Has anyone else went this route?  How did you handle people asking questions etc? 

What are some things I will need to get on hand now and up to surgery date and right after surgery that was helpful to you? 

I will discuss this with my surgeon as well, but I am very nervous about excess skin after losing weight.  What were your experiences with this?  My BMI is 52 so I do have a lot of weight to loose. 

 I just wanted to introduce myself and make that first post so when I have more questions (which I am sure I will have a million more) I'm not nervous about posting. 

Welcome on the journey! You will not regret it. :)

I told my employer I was getting my gallbladder taken out. My husband and parents knew about the surgery, and I made the mistake of telling 3 close friends. I get exactly where you are coming from about wanting to keep things private. There is a big stigma around surgery and while certainly, I don't want to play into that stigma, I also don't need people policing me on what they think my habits should be post-surgery, or make off-hand comments about it. One of my friends is severely overweight and I think he has given me the worst time about it, how he would "never" do that and risk surgery when he can do it himself if he wanted to, blah, blah. When people ask me how I lost weight, I tell them that I eat really little, and I basically stopped eating carbs. While it may not be the whole truth, it is the truth. I may change my stance on revealing it more publically when I am at goal, but for now, I just don't want to deal with people's misconceptions and meddling.

As far as excess skin, I think you kinda have to go into it expecting to have it, and then always be pleasantly surprised if it's not that bad. I am down 90 lbs from my highest, and still have another 90 to go. While I have gotten more "jiggly," I have yet to have any loose, rippled, or hanging skin. There are so many factors that go into loose skin - genetics, how long you've been overweight, etc. I am also doing what I can to make sure I always get a lot of water to hydrate my skin, I moisturize my skin with firming cream (maybe no science behind it, but, hey, it can't hurt, right?), and am soon going to be incorporating strength training into my routine to tighten the muscles underneath and hope that lessens the appearance of loose skin. Ultimately though, I know that when I'm at goal, if it's still something that bothers me that much, I can start saving my pennies and look at plastic surgery options. I'll see how I feel when I get there. :)

so what are you going to tell them if/when your gallbladder needs to come out?

I will cross that bridge if I get to it, but it really depends on the time I will have to take off. Maybe I'll use vacation days and not say anything about a medical procedure.

Welcome to the forum.  I'm so happy for you starting your weight loss process.  I think you'll be most happy with the results.  As you said, the sleeve is a tool and it doesn't make it easy, but it does make it possible.  I've been maintaining for about 1.5 years at my goal weight, and I  can tell that it would be trivial to over-eat even with the sleeve and gain the weight back.  It really is just a tool.  We have to do the work.

I lost 225 pounds, going from a BMI of 60 to a BMI of 24.  I had a lot of excess skin on my belly, some on my thighs and arms as well, but the belly was the major problem.  So last spring I had a fleur-de-lis tummy tuck, and I am so happy that I did.  I have before and after photos on my profile if you are interested.  I posted them because I wanted people to have an idea of what can be done with plastics. 

I knew I wanted to remove the excess skin from my belly but I had no idea how well it would go.  The surgery was a piece of cake, and my tummy looks like it did when I was 14!  It makes me feel so good.  I'd highly recommend doing plastics -  you deserve to feel good about your body after all the work of overcoming obesity.

I wish you the best in your weight loss journey.  I hope it works out as well for you as it has for me.

Carol

I am going the "not telling people" route. My mom, MIL, and household family know I had it done. For everyone else, I tell them that I made a lot of big changes in my life. So far, that's satisfied the people who have asked. However, I am only 6 weeks out and less than half way to my goal weight. I may have to rethink my approach later, but I still feel that, for most people, it's none of their business that I had WLS.

Helpful things:

-Baby spoons - to help you eat smaller bites so you eat slower
-I got a couple of silicone baby food trays to freeze food in.
-Protein shaker cups (I like those because they come with little screw on cups that can hold your vitamins and protein powders for when you're on the go. They also have a strainer like thing in the lid that stop any big clumps)
-I also use a wire mixer ball in my shaker cup because I really don't like getting clumps.
-Some 2oz and 1oz plastic bowls with lids for portioning out and freezing food. (If you have Gordon Food Service where you live, they should have them)

When you're in the pureed stage, having food already prepared and ready to go makes everything so much easier. I actually still use everything on the list at 6 weeks post-op.

Welcome! Good luck on your journey!

Just wanted to address your husband's "easy-way-out" comments. I don't understand what is wrong with an easy way out of the deadly and intractable condition of obesity. Many, many studies have shown how difficult it is to overcome obesity and how dangerous it is to your health. If cancer could be cured with a single pill washed down with orange juice, would anyone say it's a character flaw in a cancer patient who forgoes the debilitating chemo and radiation treatment and takes the "easy way out" of their disease?

And, as you probably know already from reading the posts here, the sleeve is far from an "easy" out. It's a major surgery and has all the risks inherent with any major surgery. Many patients take weeks or months to fully recover from it. Weight loss then becomes "easier" (though never "easy"); that is, the sleeve is effective at weight reduction and as a means toward better health and longer life. 

I'm afraid your husband still has the outdated attitude that "will power" alone should be enough, and if it isn't, you are a seriously flawed person. He needs to educate himself about obesity as a disease that has its roots in physical as well as psychological factors. You are not flawed; you are sick. Hubby, back off!

psychoticparrot

I honestly wi**** was that easy explaining this to him.  We literally get in fights about this and it ends up with me being in tears trying to get my point across but I feel like I'm just wasting my breath.  I'm doing this with or without his support,  but I do think it would be much easier if he did stand behind me and support me.  He says things like "you haven't proved that you can stick to anything, what makes you think you can stick to this?"  I try to explain what I have learned through my research and he makes rude comments like "oh that sounds healthy" or something someone that is uneducated in WLS would say. When I get upset and in tears he says I just have a one track mind and won't think of any other possible solutions.  Apparently he isn't aware or have completely forgotten everything I have done in the past almost 20 years and it obviously didn't work.  I don't know what I need to do. I have to do this for me, I have to be there and be healthy for my children, they are very young ( 5 years old and 19 months old).  I can't take this fighting and stress. 

 It is extremely frustrating. 

I don't mean to be critical here, but it sounds like your hubby is your own worst enemy in this. Perhaps you should have someone you both know that he respects and will listen to have a heart to heart chat with him. He needs to understand that he is hurting the person that he allegedly loves. If that doesn't work, then just hang in there, use the forums to vent and march onward. There is no better feeling I am sure than succeeding at whatever you attempt and then to look the naysayers in the face and just beam, then right after that, serve him with divorce papers. Yes I kidding about that last part, but I am sure it made you smile which was the intent. Good luck.

Thank you very much for your support and I agree.  I know you are kidding and it did make me smile.  Thanks so much.