Got my date! Now friends and family are freaking me out!

Im scheduled for Nov 20th. After a long long process I finally made it to the end and was approved by my insurance. Ive told friends and family, and while they are supportive, they are terrified for me. Everyone seems to know someone who had massive complications and cant eat anything and end up in the hospital literally wasting away, or, have gained all there weight back. Im upset. Im trying to take control of my health and prevent scary issues, not exacerbate my demise...oy....send me some positive stories please.

Ask for the contact information so you can talk with the person who is wasting away. It is usually the hairdresser's cousin's daughter-in-law's friend. Nobody will be able to give you a name or phone number.

Nobody is wasting away.

People who gain all their weight back usually just did not change their eating habits. They think surgery is magic and it is for a year or so.

They have visions of you dying on the operating table for what they consider an "elective" procedure. They'll be fine once the surgery is behind you. And the chances of anything dire happening in the OR are probably less than driving home in your car on any given day. Deep breaths. You'll make it through okay!

Hydrogirl

You really have to be careful of listening to others stories about WLS. I'll give you a perfect example. Two years ago my hairdressers husband died. I see my hairdresser about 6 times a year. He had WLS but it was not the sleeve, it was bypass. She woke up one day and found him dead in the floor. They were very close and had a good relationship and one adopted daughter. She was devastated.

When I would go get my hair fixed, she would always say she wished he never had the surgery because she knew it caused his death. She said he was sick every single day of his life. If they would go out to eat, he would take a bite of food, excuse himself to go to the restroom and vomit. He would come back, take a bite of food and go to the restroom to vomit.

His autopsy report indicated he died from a heart attack.

So after a LONG time of listening to this, I started asking more questions. After he had his WLS, he needed a knee surgery and some other type of surgery. He had gone to see a doctor who ordered a test on his heart and the test revealed his heart was enlarged. Well guess what? He said he was tired of having surgeries and never followed up with a doctor about his heart.

My point is can people have complications due to having WLS? Yes they can and they do but just because someone SAYS complications or death resulted in WLS doesn't mean it's true. Maybe he lived such a unhealthy lifestyle for so long he didn't get healthy before the heart attacked occurred.

I don't think it would come as a surprise to you she thinks I need to be put in an insane asylum for wanting to have WLS!

People who are scared for you (often due to lack of education and understanding) will never remember the ones they have heard of whose WLS changed their lives all for the good. A few years down the road no-one mentions them anymore just the ones who have problems. If they were realistic about your chance of major health problems if you remain overweight they would be scared too. Don't let them get to you.

I relate these people who feel like they need to provide their "thoughts" on the surgery to those people who end up telling women who are pregnant horror stories, or step in to say hey you are parenting your kid wrong. If I wanted that kind of information I would have asked you for your opinion otherwise keep your mouth shut and if you can't say anything supportive, don't say anything at all.

I hesitated telling my family because of this. When the comments started, I said "here go read this" and then come back to me and we can talk about your questions or concerns. People can be concerned, as they should be since this is a major surgery, however they need to be educated. Now my family is very supportive. They see what it is going to take to make these lifestyle changes.

You are doing this for you! Not for them! This was not an easy decision because it is not an easy way out like most people tend to think. You are taking charge of your life...for YOU! You don't have time nor do they deserve your time to talk about things they more than likely do not know anything about. Remember...you love yourself enough to make these changes and that is all that matters.

Tink

People care about you, and just worry. It is incumbent upon you to choose how you process what is being told to you. If there were some epidemic of people "wasting away", you would have heard about it on the news.

Take each voicing of their concerns as a gift of love, and understand that humanistically most people simply fear change; very soon you will not be the "Hydrogirl" that you used to be... It's a good thing, right? :-)

My surgery date is just 10 days before yours; you and I will basically be doing this together; I got 'cher back... let's do this!

Mark

You're lucky that you have a family that cares so much about you. It's natural that an announcement of an upcoming, major, elective, surgery will cause consternation.

You want a positive story? I'm 64 and for the last 10 years at my high weight of 275 pounds (I'm 5'1"), I was so sick from comorbidities that I doubted I'd make it to 65. Even at my age and poor state of health, I got through the surgery just fine. Recovery was a bit rocky, but I got through that too.

It's been 9 months since surgery, and half of my comorbidities are gone. My numerous medications have been cut in half, and I expect more to be cut by this time next year. The difference in my overall health and my feeling of well-being is astronomical. I can walk, swim, do household chores, shop, play with my grandson ... in short, I enjoy living again.

I don't know how old you are. If you're still young and haven't developed comorbidities yet, without significant weight loss, I guarantee you will eventually get them. Ask your family to picture two future trajectories -- the first, if you don't have the surgery, the increasing weight, the loss of health, the possible shortened life, and the life you have not worth living. The second, you have the surgery, you lose and keep off the weight, the increase in good health and enjoyment of life. Which future would they want for you?

psychoticparrot

We see this frequently on the boards. My husband was terrified too. I had initially gone for a seminar on the Rny a couple years before me sleeve, but he talked me out of it. When I found out about the sleeve he again really tried to. I knew enough to not tell folks, so even the in-laws were not made aware until it was done. My husband did a 180 within a couple of days of surgury, because he saw I was fine and he went into full on support mode.

Think of it this way. How many times do you hear stories about how someone died from ? Wls surgury is different because those who don't consider or may not need to do view it as elective and that one should simply have enough self-control to do it independent from the surgury. Yet, all the evidence is counter to that. Less than 5% are able to take off the weight and keep it off, and it is especially daunting for us super morbidly obese folks. We are far, far more likely to meet our demise from a weight related illness. Additionally, your quality of life being a super heavy weight is far worse than a more normal weight. I can attest to that first hand :)

I looked at it is my decision to make myself healthier. I tuned out anything that did not support that goal. Once surgury was done every last person who knows would in hindsight fully support the decision without all of the fear or stories of the hairdresser's nephew type thing.

Stay the course! I am a little below goal weight 4 years out and feel fantastic- that can be you too!

Thank you all so much for chiming in. I am so close now. My surgeon said this type of reaction by everyone is normal when you get close to the date. Im glad I found a therapist who has multiple wls patients. I asked him what he thought and he said he supports the surgery. His patients have been very succesful, and only 1 had complications. Im 33, ive lost 43 lbs so far from the 6 month process. Im very active, and only have gerd and high cholesterol. Im hoping to prevent diabetes and stroke. My family has a rotten time when menopause starts and these comorbities start. Im watching my family history closely to basically avoid a similar lifestyle that can cut my life short. Ive got about 10 yrs b4 menopause, if there was ever a time to do it, now is it. I quit smoking 4 yrs ago, I exercise 6 to 7 hours a week, and I have no children that depend on me. My big bear is sugar....oy! I have significantly reduced my intake and luckiky the cravings have calmed down. Yay!