Dealing with snarky co-workers

Don't let anything or anyone get in your way!!!!

As you already know, by not being upfront about it, you leave yourself open to speculation.... it's pretty natural.

I was open up front from the get go and that was the best for me. I received nothing but encouragement and support all the way up to the point where I was getting smaller than them!

Bottom line.....your body, your choice!

Focus on the job at hand and do the work to get your skinny on and let the cards fall where they may !

frisco

Not that you had to, but if you started out by telling everyone what you were actually having done, and that you didn't care to discuss your health beyond that, it would have been the end of it.

But you did lie. Sure, you had a hernia repair, but you intentionally mislead everyone. People tend to react snarky, and gossip, and spread rumors when they've been lied to.

People often try to hide having WLS. It's impossible. We just lose way too much weight, way too fast. Everyone eventually guesses, and there is a lot of unwelcome chatter and rumors.

You can start out telling them nothing. Make a strong statement that your health and the reasons for surgery are not a matter for discussion, period. But they will still try and guess, and discuss it.

Or you can briefly explain what you are having done, and then say it is the last word on the subject, and you won't be discussing it further. I believe it's better to have the truth out there than a whole lot of crazy rumors. They can't speculate endlessly and create rumors when the truth is already out there.

Because in the end, there is just no hiding WLS.

I did not say anything before my surgery and I think only one person has asked since about how I lost the weight. If there have been any snarky comments, I haven't heard them. I think mostly people don't talk about me at work. I do get a lot of positive comments on my daily lunchtime walks.

I only told a couple of people at work at first like you but now have shared it with almost everyone. I had one girl make a comment when she saw how much weight I had lost that she hoped I didn't develop an eating disorder. I consider this an incredibly stupid comment, but I'm not letting it bother me and you shouldn't let anyone's comments bother you either. It is really and truly none of their business what you want to do with your body. Try and ignore. Good luck to you and congrats on the weight loss!

I had planned on telling NO ONE but my husband about the surgery prior to having it. But I ended up telling my parents, MIL and my best friend. Everyone else, including work, thought I was just having a hernia repair. Less than a month ago my MIL was talking about me with my siblings (who didn't know) and they were really concerned. My MIL was talking about how I wasn't really able to eat and my sister was really scared. I ended up having to tell them, and they were very supportive.

Everyone else still doesn't know. Even though I've lost 64 pounds since my highest weight, I still don't feel the need to tell them. If someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them I'm drinking a lot of protein shakes. I've also posted on my facebook page about my daily walks and bike rides. I know that my co-workers would be supportive, I just don't feel the need to tell them. I'm sure there will come a day that I do, but for now it's none of their business.

How would you deal with a co-worker who was being snarky about you gaining weight? Or being snarky about your haircut? Or the outfit you're wearing?

My point is that snarky behavior and rude comments are never acceptable in the workplace. It is unprofessional and contributes to a hostile work environment. And that's exactly the wording I would use when they make their next comment:

"That comment you made is rude, unprofessional and makes me super uncomfortable. Is that what you intended?"

If their answer is "yes", then you need to report them to your HR Dept. This kind of ****ty behavior needs to be nipped in the bud. By not saying anything, you are guaranteeing that the bevahior will continue or get worse.

I work with all men and they really could care less about my surgery. I told them and the only thing was one guy said "good for you..about time , flaco"...Flaco was my nickname...which means skinny in Spanish..lol. I think guys are different than the ladies about this type thing.

I disagree with this comment, "We just lose way too much weight, way too fast. Everyone eventually guesses, and there is a lot of unwelcome chatter and rumors." I have lost 85 pounds since my January 26 VSG. I have about 11 more pounds to lose in order to have a Normal BMI. Before WLS, I had just hit the Morbidly Obese BMI Number. I only told my husband and daughter because they had a part in my after-care, no one else. When people have commented on my weight loss, I have told them that my doctor told me I had to lose weight because I was just one number below Diabetes and she put me on a 6-week liquid diet to get me started, and since then I have done low-carb. All this is true. My WLS was my business, and I didn't want it to be the main topic of discussion about me. I agree with the comment, "I intensely dislike any attention I'm receiving for losing weight because my aesthetic appeal has absolutely nothing to do with my worth as a person", what I look like is not what is important, it is what is inside. I did this surgery to prevent further health problems, not for vanity. Kay :-)

Years ago, WLS was rare enough that people did not expect to encounter someone who has had it. Today, it's done much more often. It's in the news, social media, and all over popular culture. I think you are fooling yourself if people that see you all the time haven't discussed whether or not you had surgery. They just haven't said anything that you know about. It's just become the conclusion that people jump to. Either that, or they wonder if you had cancer or something.

I agree it is your business, and you can share, or not, with whomever you like. But don't fool yourself into thinking you aren't lying when you say things like liquid diets, low carb, small portions, more exercise, etc. Sure, those things are all true. But overall it's still a lie. I'm not judging. I've lied about stuff before, and I have no doubt I will again. It doesn't make it any less of a lie.

I could win the lottery tomorrow, and buy a mansion and a yacht. If people asked me how I got all this stuff, I could tell them I'm a hard worker, and saved my pennies. Which is absolutely, positively true. But it's not how I got a mansion and a yacht. It would be a lie. And it could hurt a lot of other people who work really hard, save every penny, and barely get by.

"Oh, well, YOU did it the easy way..."

Uh huh. The easy way.

I spent a year researching and consulting medical professionals, making the decision to have the surgery, and going thru the medical and insurance approval. Then I went thru major abdominal surgery, a month of recovery, and then a year of enduring an artificially induced famine, with all the medical fall out of that. Uh huh. The easy way.

Where as everyone else just doesn't eat much for a few months, looses some weight, and then over the next year gains it all back plus five pounds.

I didn't do it the easy way. I did it the smart, hard way. And the lasting permanent way. But there wasn't anything easy about it.

Deliver in a wry, neutral tone.

That usually shuts 'em up.