McDonald's vanilla shake -- invented by "da debbil" himself.

Here follows a cautionary tale that will probably make you a bit sick. But stick with it -- there is a nugget (ouch!) of good advice in it.

Drove 2 1/2 hours this morning to have minor surgery done on my right eye. Arrived right on time. Wrong office. Right office was 15 minutes away, and they weren't sure until I got there whether they could do the surgery that day. BP on arrival was 165/95 from the stress of being late and the imminent prospect of laser beams boring into my eyeball.

They put enough eye drops in to numb an elephant. Then the zapping started. Not too bad, but not great either. At the end of it I had an eyeball that was sore, fixed and dilated from the drops, and I had a 2 1/2 hour drive back to my boat using one good eye while driving the Baltimore beltway. I was not happy.

So, there I was, about halfway home, stressed out, hungry, and feeling sorry for myself. What to do? What to do? Buy a McDonald's vanilla shake, of course. My custom of soothing myself with junk food overwhelmed me, and I bought and drank the shake while driving to Baltimore. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but guilt never sets in before I eat junk carbs.

What I failed to take into consideration was what a chemical-laden, super-sweet, super-fatty drink could do to a gut that had grown accustomed to a daily diet of lean proteins, vegetables, and fruit. By the time I reached the Mason-Dixon line, I was sweating and looking desperately for another McDonald's, but for a very different reason this time.

I finally found one off the interstate, and headed there, tires screeching, cursing every slow driver and stoplight that delayed me from unloading an explosive mix of demonic vanilla shake and residual matter from the nuclear reactor meltdown formerly known as my colon.

Just as I pulled into the parking lot, the meltdown began. Slowly at first, thank goodness. I tied my sweater around my waist and almost ran into the restroom, sat and waited a scant second before the explosion began. The only description for what followed is Holy Mother of God! Never experienced anything like it before and hope never to experience it again! The wages of sin, my friends. The wages of sin.

I cleaned up as well as I could, got back to the car without attracting any notice (I hope), sacrificed my sweater by using it to protect the car upholstery from my disgusting clothing and limped back to my boat. Now, having scrubbed myself clean, salvaged what clothing that could be saved, and discarding the rest, I sit writing this for all of you, my fellow sleevers.

The moral of the story? Besides the obvious bad choice of a milk shake lunch, something to consider is that eating small amounts of nutritious food over long periods of time can make your gut so happy that it will go into a mother of a hissy fit if you eat a substantial amount of unhealthy, fatty carbs.

I know this sounds like one of those accounts from people who ate the sugar-free gummy bears, but believe me, I did not exaggerate. Even while writing this account, I had to take two bathroom breaks. Things are settling down, but lesson learned -- McDonald's milkshakes and all of its fast-food relatives have no place in my diet anymore, no matter how stressed out I am.

Excuse me, gotta go!

psychoticparrot

Your story is one of a few I've read here and the main reason my husband and I haven't dared to have ice cream or shakes since surgery. Ice cream was our real fun go to treat before surgery. I wonder if our sleeved stomachs would react better to something like sugar free frozen yogurt. I'm too afraid to try.

Best to err on the safe side, IMO. Sugar-free frozen yogurt may not upset your digestive system, but it's all empty calories plus a whopping dose of chemicals that should never see the inside of the human body.

You may be thinking, "Huh, she should talk. She drank a milkshake today." All I can say is that I've paid my debt to society for my crime.

psychoticparrot

I shouldn't laugh, but your descriptions made me smile and chuckle! I totally get it. However, having the sleeve of steel, nothing ever really bothers me when I eat it. Like your experience, it's always on the way out that I pay the price!

I'm not sure a Mc D's milkshake would do it to me though. Who knows.

Okay, I take it back. I just looked at the stats... Um, I'd be sick as a dog. It's 530 cals, 15 grams of fat, 12 grams protein and a whopping 86 carbs! (most of them are sugar, too!) Nope, i'd be in the bathroom just like you!

Small shake 73 grams of sugar. Fairly new post op, many of us have a bad reaction to the combo of sugar & fat combined - it's dumping of sorts.

Too bad a sleeve of steel doesn't come with a gut of steel. On second thought, it's probably an advantage. If the gut objects to what the sleeve is feeding it, the sleeve shouldn't be eating it to begin with. "Trusting your gut" just acquired a whole new meaning.

psychoticparrot

Oh my! I've had a rough afternoon (opposite of your's). Thanks for bringing a smile to my face! Yucky story but such a hilarious, fun way to reflect!!

Since I had my surgery in August I haven't had any IBS, but I used to have it for many years. I was always afraid to go out to dinner with friends, "just in case" I had to run to the bathroom. If drinking a milkshake makes someone without IBS run to the bathroom, I KNOW I'll never try one. There have been way too many times in my past when I NEEDED to go, and almost didn't make it to the nearest fast food restaurant, just to use their facilities.

Thank you for a good lesson.

"I KNOW I'll never try one."

That's why I wrote about my experience -- to warn others about eating high-fat, high-carb junk and its effect on a digestive system not accustomed to such foods anymore. My gut meltdown has not been in vain!

psychoticparrot