Looking SICK...worried friends and family

Hello, all! I know there are many posts on this topic, but I really need some sound advice. ALL of my friends and family are VERY concerned about my weight loss. I am definitely under goal, which I never expected (5'6", 128 lbs). I'm 9 months out and have lost 78 lbs. While some might consider this a victory, I do not . I look sick, and my friends and family are completely worried and scared for my health. This is the opposite of what I've experienced in the past, and I, too, am getting nervous about the drastic changes to my body. Everyone keeps telling me to "just eat more," but I CAN'T!!! Nothing sounds or looks good, so I'm supplementing with shakes and high-calorie Ensure. My internist is worried, and I've also consulted with a Gastrointerologist, who thinks I need to be scoped for a possible stricture. He also believes that I might need to have my sleeve stretched to allow more food (therefore, more calories). I'm emaciated, tired, and scared. Thoughts?? Feedback is very much appreciated!!! 

Scoping for a stricture is a simple procedure and the stricture can be fixed if one exists.  You don't have any signs of a stricture though.  Are you vomiting every time you eat or drink?

As long as you are supplementing you should be fine.  Your sleeve will stretch on its own.  It is normal to look too skinny during the first two years after surgery.  It is very rare to still be too skinny by year three.

The surgery allows you to starve the weight off.  The body figures out how to overcome that on its own.

Thank you so much for your input! I really want the weight to stop falling off (something I never thought I'd ever say!!!) It's just so hard to not be able to tolerate much of anything, and when I DO try, I vomit. I have a history of anorexia/bulimia, for witch I've been in outpatient treatment for in the past. I hate all of the "gossip" so I'm trying my best to be proactive with labs and bi-weekly check-ins with my docs. I have three YOUNG little girls to live for, and I'm so scared that I'm becoming sick. 

Your family is used to seeing a much larger you.  You are still in a normal BMI range.  We all look a little haggard and sick during the rapid weight loss phase.  After a few years, the fat redistributes and you fill out a little.  I promise you won't look sick in a few years, even if you don't gain any weight back.  

Be very careful adding high calorie foods to gain weight.  By year three your body figures out how to absorb EVERY calorie and you might be back here complaining of weight re-gain.  Your sleeve will stretch in time and you will be able to eat more food .  Many people lose 20 pounds below goal to allow for bounce back weight.  

If you want to add a few more calories, add in some healthy fats, like nut butters.  They are high in calories with very small volume and still good for you.  Most people who want to go into maintenance will add 100 calories per day until the weight loss stops.  1 tablespoon of peanut butter is 170 calories.  That's not a lot of volume to fit in your small stomach.

Thank you so much for your time and feedback! I've been trying to insure everyone that this is just a "phase," so, hopefully, the rumors and whispers will end soon! It's so difficult when a small town girl loses 80 lbs in 7 months!!! I hate having to "lie" about how this happened. Again, thank you!!!

Some perspective:

You are shorter than Sandra Bullock and you weigh 10 lbs MORE than she does.  She isn't what I would call skinny, and a universe away from "emaciated".  She is a normal weight.  

You are used to be obese.  You aren't any more.  That doesn't mean you are "emaciated".  You just aren't obese.  It takes a while for people to get used to the new you.  It can be shocking to see.  Sometimes when you lose a lot of weight your face will look drawn for a little while , then it fills out again.  I know mine did.

I'm tired too.  A lot of people are.  Usually it's low iron or something like that. I'm tired because I do too much and I don't get enough sleep.  

78 lbs divided by 38.25 weeks is 2.03 lbs a week.  That's not an extreme amount of weight to lose in that time period.  You weren't super duper huge to start off with, so 78 lbs is a lot for you, but 2 lbs a week isn't an extreme amount to lose. 

What White Dove and Rocky said. Right on the money, both of them.

Hi,

I also got a lot of - "You're too thin"  so I used BMI to judge.  When I stopped losing weight, my BMI was 24 which is the high end of normal.  So I did not give too much credibility to the people around me.  Part of the problem is that our loose skin makes us look less-healthy, and contributes to the too thin perception.  I also wore my clothes too lose, and that also makes us look too thin. 

I had a cousin who kept telling me I was too thin.  When we compared notes, we were the same height and the same weight.  I told her she couldn't call me skinny anymore!

For 5'6, 128 pounds is a bmi of 20 which is the low end of normal. Its probably time to stop losing weight.  Can you eat more often?  That's how I stopped weight loss.  I added a 4th meal per day. 

I hope you can sort this out with your doctor, so you can be happy and healthy.  You deserve it!

Carol

My doctor told me that for the first year to 18 months I was going to look "sick". He said that since I am starving myself to lose the weight my body and appearance is not going to look the best. Think about it for a minute, we are taking in drastically lower calories and fat than we once were. Our hair falls out, our nails get brittle, we have loose skin, etc... BUT once our body catches up we will start to look healthy again. Our body just takes time to adjust to not eating and behaving the way we used to. Looking at your height and BMI I wouldn't be too worried about it but I am not your doctor and I don't have any photos to look at. 

Best of luck! 

this happened to me too. at 5'4 my goal was 135 and i got down to 117!  people were saying I looked frail.  my surgeon said not to worry that it would bounce back. it did and i am now pretty steady at 125 which is good.   i ate nuts and peanut butter to stop the weight loss - a big blob of pb late at night does the trick.  or drink some whole milk.  by all means have the medical tests that are recommended, but this problem does tend to resolve.  i am 5 years out and now have to watch to avoid regain but its so much better than being fat.   don't resort to ice cream or sugary stuff.  gl   diane