Very Irritable

Sorry I don't get where the Nanny reference fits in

Forum nanny: someone who tries to tell others how and what to post  and not post on a public Internet forum.

A forum Nanny is someone who thinks they know how everyone should post. That their way is the only way. Such as the list you just posted

Sorry, but I completely disagree. In a completely visual communication mode, anything people can put in to help clarify emphasis is -- IMO -- useful.  If people prefer to use capital letters to EMPHASIZE a point rather than using bolding or italics, I have no problem with that.  

You seem to think that being emphatic and compassionate are mutually exclusive.  They are not.  When someone tells us that they are eating Taco Bell at just a couple of weeks out, or stopped for a KFC bowl on the way home from the hospital I absolutely want to be emphatic and clear about the fact that they are screwing up big time!

You can always choose to skip posts with "too many" capital letters and or exclamation points..

Lora

When you watch people repeatedly making life threatening decisions, you tend to want to shake them up a little. SOMETIMES ALL CAPS IS THE ONLY WAY TO GET YOUR POINT ACROSS WHEN THE SUBJECT IS SERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She's new around here.  She's been a member of OH for about a month. She has no****ched people DIE because of their own choices like we, who have been around for many years, have. 

Thanks, Lora!

Today I’m sharing ten tips that you can use as a parent, a partner, or simply as a person when you find yourself in a disagreement or conflict.

1. Breathe. Take a moment to remember that while you may not be able to control the emotion you feel in response to someone’s words or behavior, you can control your response to that emotion. Your reaction is always your choice – make it a conscious choice. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. Give yourself permission to step back. A calm, measured response in an hour is almost always better than a thoughtless, harsh response immediately.
2. Don’t take it personally. One of the most eye-opening things I have learned is that a person’s judgment of or reaction to me is not entirely based on me or the situation. Our judgments and reactions are born out of a lifetime of experiences. Positive reactions stem from good memories, happy times, and successes. Negative reactions come from past hurts, failures, and regrets. So the next time someone criticizes you, remember that the words are more of a reflection on the speaker than on you.
3. Make a connection. If you are having an in-person interaction, make a conscious effort to make meaningful eye contact. If you are comfortable doing so, make a physical connection by reaching out to pat the person’s arm or even giving her a hug (especially if it is your child or partner). If you are having a difficult online interaction, pretend the person is sitting next to you. Form a mental picture of sitting across from the person. Remember that there is a face – a person just like you – behind the words on the screen.
4. Ask questions. One way you can respond more mindfully to a negative statement (instead of flying off the handle) is by asking for clarification. When you hear a statement that sounds negative, ask the speaker to explain more about where they are coming from. Chances are the statement had nothing to do with you, but more with the person’s past experiences. Learning about their viewpoint can help you craft a respectful response.
5. Share information without expectations. If the person seems open to a conversation, make it just that – a conversation, not a soapbox. If you decide to open up about your own philosophy, preferences, or experiences, do so because you enjoy talking about the subject. If your goal is persuasion, the other person will be more likely to resist.
6. Reverse the roles. This one is also known as “treat others the way you would like to be treated.” If someone was trying to convince you to parent or live differently, what approach would you appreciate? Would you be open to change if someone was bullying you? Criticizing you? Blaming you? Or would you want them to listen to you, sharing information in a neutral way, showing concern for you?
7. Focus on the positive. Try to find a common, positive ground. Sometimes that may be as simple as the fact that we are all acting out of love for our children, regardless of whether you believe some actions to be misguided.
8. Remember that everyone is working with the tools they have at the moment. No one sets out to make mistakes. We’re all struggling to parent (and live) in the best way we know how. When we learn better, we can do better.
9. Agree to disagree. Disagreements do not always resolve in complete understanding. Sometimes time, cir****tances, or attitude mean that we will not see eye to eye. But disagreement does not need to mean conflict – we can be respectful and supportive in other ways.
10. You can only plant the seed, ideas take time to grow. When you are passionate about a subject, sometimes the best way to have it take hold in another person’s life is to let them see you live it. Be the seed of change.

It's official already!  You WIN!!

Today I’m sharing ten tips that you can use as a parent, a partner, or simply as a person when you find yourself in a disagreement or conflict.

1. Breathe. Take a moment to remember that while you may not be able to control the emotion you feel in response to someone’s words or behavior, you can control your response to that emotion. Your reaction is always your choice – make it a conscious choice. Allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. Give yourself permission to step back. A calm, measured response in an hour is almost always better than a thoughtless, harsh response immediately.
2. Don’t take it personally. One of the most eye-opening things I have learned is that a person’s judgment of or reaction to me is not entirely based on me or the situation. Our judgments and reactions are born out of a lifetime of experiences. Positive reactions stem from good memories, happy times, and successes. Negative reactions come from past hurts, failures, and regrets. So the next time someone criticizes you, remember that the words are more of a reflection on the speaker than on you.
3. Make a connection. If you are having an in-person interaction, make a conscious effort to make meaningful eye contact. If you are comfortable doing so, make a physical connection by reaching out to pat the person’s arm or even giving her a hug (especially if it is your child or partner). If you are having a difficult online interaction, pretend the person is sitting next to you. Form a mental picture of sitting across from the person. Remember that there is a face – a person just like you – behind the words on the screen.
4. Ask questions. One way you can respond more mindfully to a negative statement (instead of flying off the handle) is by asking for clarification. When you hear a statement that sounds negative, ask the speaker to explain more about where they are coming from. Chances are the statement had nothing to do with you, but more with the person’s past experiences. Learning about their viewpoint can help you craft a respectful response.
5. Share information without expectations. If the person seems open to a conversation, make it just that – a conversation, not a soapbox. If you decide to open up about your own philosophy, preferences, or experiences, do so because you enjoy talking about the subject. If your goal is persuasion, the other person will be more likely to resist.
6. Reverse the roles. This one is also known as “treat others the way you would like to be treated.” If someone was trying to convince you to parent or live differently, what approach would you appreciate? Would you be open to change if someone was bullying you? Criticizing you? Blaming you? Or would you want them to listen to you, sharing information in a neutral way, showing concern for you?
7. Focus on the positive. Try to find a common, positive ground. Sometimes that may be as simple as the fact that we are all acting out of love for our children, regardless of whether you believe some actions to be misguided.
8. Remember that everyone is working with the tools they have at the moment. No one sets out to make mistakes. We’re all struggling to parent (and live) in the best way we know how. When we learn better, we can do better.
9. Agree to disagree. Disagreements do not always resolve in complete understanding. Sometimes time, cir****tances, or attitude mean that we will not see eye to eye. But disagreement does not need to mean conflict – we can be respectful and supportive in other ways.
10. You can only plant the seed, ideas take time to grow. When you are passionate about a subject, sometimes the best way to have it take hold in another person’s life is to let them see you live it. Be the seed of change.

ppl intensely dislike forum nannies. Too many ppl think everyone shoul hold their hand all the time. 

Wish I had a dollar for every forum nanny post I have seen.

i am insulted that you posted this list, ASSUMING that I needed it it. I think you are a meanie for not taking my feelings into consideration before you posted it. Where is YOUR empathy!?

Good grief that's TOO MANYrules to have to follow, I'd forget what my original response was!!! I'm an adult I don't NEED a mommy to tell me what or how to do what I do everyday!!!

Excellent post.  It makes my heart sing when someone like you comes along.  Someone who gets how important it is to listen and read and be discerning on the advice given here.

There are so many smart people here, who keep up to date on the research for the various surgeries, who have lived a successful post WLS life and who still come here to be accountable and to share what they know ...

And then there are forum nannies ...  I have yet to meet one that sticks around longer than a hot minute and they provide little more than a finger wag.   It's one of the reasons they get short shrift around here - aside from the fact they usually have the personality of a wet dish rag!