Learning to trust the body again

Hello all, 

Although the last several years have been a train wreck as far as physical fitness goes, I have a history of being very fit at many points of my oh-so-long life.  My last half marathon was about 10 years ago.

I have been walking regularly since surgery and several weeks ago I started yoga as my ongoing rehab. 

This week, I thought I might be ready for easy hikes.  The first hike ended up including scrambling up rocks and boulders which caused me serious anxiety because of concerns about balance, being able to lift/stretch my legs high enough, and would I have enough strength to hoist myself up.  

It also included walking down boulders which caused me to have concerns about death.  

Anxiety isn't a day to day problem with me, but when it does flare, I am filled with catastrophic thoughts which is exactly what I don't need as I pick my way through a field of sharp stones. 

Having an "easy" hike challenge me in this way filled my brain with negativity.

In the end, my body did fine. I did NOT fall, my legs stretched as needed, and my muscles easily lifted me. I was not sore after the hike or the next day.  I have always loved the feeling of being strong and it warms my heart to feel that coming back.

Later I found that most guidebooks rate that hike as moderate, rather than easy.  But, tho my body was ready for it, it appears that my brain has a bit of work to do.

By the way, shout out to Acadia National Park and the Maine coast in general.  Absolutely beautiful!

I totally get where you're coming from.  For me, I just have to keep challenging my brain to these things and, finally, I've started to feel strong and capable :)  You'll get there!