I NEED A THERAPIST!!!

Thank you!  I think you have a good point about the "break up" leading to feeling too restricted leading to increased cravings leading to binging leading to weight gain.  Vicious cycle for sure! 

I too need to work on the head hunger thing.  Think I'll start a post just about that! 

I'm sorry that you have had negative experiences with counseling in the past.  Unfortunately, as with any profession, there are some therapists who are just plain bad at their job.  It sounds like the ones you ran into had serious issues with maintaining professional boundaries and may have had competency issues. Other times, a particular counselor and client may just be a bad "fit".

Check with your Bariatric surgeon first because they may have people that they routinely refer their patients to for counseling. If that leads no where, check with your PCP.  Generally, surgeons and PCPs won't refer patients to someone if other patients have had poor experiences with them.

Then you can check the list of approved providers from your insurance company.  There are a couple of things you can do to check them out.  Do a search for them on the Internet and see if any of the physician rating sites has them listed. Sometimes they will and sometimes they won't, but there are a number of those sites. Then, you can check the Psychology Today "Find a Therapist" web page and see if any of them have listings there.  These are listings that the therapists create themselves, and usually gives you an idea of what kinds of approaches they use, areas that they specialize in, etc.

As far as what to look for, it Rrally deoends on what you need.  It might be useful to have someone with special training in eating disorders (but any competent therapist should be able to help you examine the inappropriate ways you utilize food and help you break those patterns).  Someone who utilizes Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a big plus because they generally focus on making changes.  If you have a history of childhood trauma, though, you may want to see someone who has special training in trauma therapy, because that is likely a big part of the issue.

You can often talk to the therapist for a few minutes before you make an initial appointment.  If so, explain very briefly the issues you are looking to work on and ask them what kind of an approach they would use for those issues.  If they have trouble anewsthing the question, then you probably want to move on to the next one.

Lora

“You don't drown by falling in the water.  You drown by staying there.”

Love that! Don't know how many times I've read your posts without noticing that!

Great suggestions that I will definitely put to use!  Really like this:  If so, explain very briefly the issues you are looking to work on and ask them what kind of an approach they would use for those issues.  If they have trouble answering the question, then you probably want to move on to the next one.

THANKS!!

Finding a good therapist is not always easy. I have a great one. I think I found her through a friend. I do feel we have to be our own cheerleader sometimes but therapy does help. It validates how we feel. Sometimes we can feel like we are going crazy.

Lora had some good points on finding a therapist and so did Gwen. 

I hope you find someone who can help you. 

"Learning about proper nutrition and food preparation" WON'T fix your head. How many of us tried to follow healthier eating plans before surgery, but would still take a nosedive into a bag of cookies? Yeah, it'll still sound good to us after surgery (probably), but with the emotional/logical tools to deal with those feelings, it can help a lot.

I would suggest looking for a counselor who advertises work with eating disorders or body image. S/he will probably have some experience with these kinds of issues and you may have better luck than with someone who does more general counseling.

Try the listing on Psychology Today, and on the left column you can find "eating disorders" under the list of issues. That should filter things down a bit.

I contacted someone at the local university School of Social Work and asked them for referrals to therapists who specialize in eating disorders.  I got good referrals and found one who was willing to take adults (a lot of them around here specialize in children).  

You may also want to try Overeater's Anonymous - there are online, phone and in person meetings in most cities.  It's not meant to replace therapy but it a great adjunct to it.  I need it all!  Therapy, OA, surgery, OH, exercise, food journal - I need all of them to keep myself on track. 

Therapy has certainly been a big reason for the success I have had so far. I got the name from my therapist from the GI/Nutrition clinic where I had my surgery. They recommended someone to me that has experience working with eating disorders. I have found it to be very helpful!

I used to be a nutritional expert on food. I knew the portions, and calories and .... and everything else. I was a great cook.. 

Just because i knew the food did not made me skinny. I was yo-yo dieting.  

Knowledge about food is one thing - therapy - completely different. 

WLS is a surgery on or stomach - not our heads.  I needed some help to understand why I was doing and eating the food that made me fat in a first place..  Why it was OK to put me and my needs first... and not "eat my feelings" and stress.. why it is OK to get angry... 

 

food specialist is not going to help you with that - a good therapist will.

Good luck..

 

The assertion that learning proper food prep and nutrition will help us not regain is silly. Like Hala, I knew about proper nutrition long before surgery. It didn't stop me from overeating. It also didn't help me with the things causing me paun, which were root causes of my overeating. Knowing proper habits does not guarantee proper eating and behavior. Look at all the people who smoke. You can bet they know cigarettes are harmful, but they do it anyway. If knowledge stopped people from smoking (or overeating or drinkin to excess, etc), then all we would have to do is educate people.