I NEED A THERAPIST!!!

It does sound rather demeaning, doesn't it?   Who is this "peanut gallery" of which you speak?

Although you may think your original post was clear, Frisco, it seemed to dismiss the importance that therapy plays for many of us to help with our eating disorders.  

I don't have a therapist, but I do attend OA meetings, which I think are more helpful than most therapists. I have the same problem with nutritionists -- I generally find I know more about good nutrition than they do! Common sense and good support can be just as useful for dealing with your food issues. A good therapist is, I'm sure, very helpful. Necessary, though? Maybe not.

psychoticparrot

I started with the list of providers from my insurance company.  I printed it out sorted by distance to my house and started at the top.  My plan was to go down the list and meet with people until I found one I clicked with.  I've had trouble finding a therapist that I've clicked with in the past, so I knew that it might take a lot of trial and error.  

Astoundingly enough, I really liked the first person I saw!

If you think counseling is really the way for you to go, then absolutely pursue it. I agree with Frisco that food education can go a long way in helping you fight the battle. That is exactly what got me to goal. My issues did not come to a head until I had lost all my weight and struggled with maintenance. Long story short, over an 18 month period I gained weight - too much weight (a little over 30 pounds).

I did everything I "knew" how to do, but was unable to sustain an eating plan that promoted weight loss. I got depressed and desperate. I sought counseling. I got on Google and searched for "Eating Disorder Therapists in....." I got back some very good links to reputable sites. I found a person that I actually knew on that list and contacted her and asked for help. We met, she listened and took an inventory and made a recommendation. I've been in "Food" therapy for not quite 6 months. It definitely has its advantages, but it has taught me absolutely nothing about how to eat correctly. It's taught me to look at how I use food, what food offers me on an emotional level, and why my compulsions to eat seemed to control me rather than me controlling the compulsion.

I also caution you in getting trapped into the thinking that you need to "break up" with food. I think so many of us suffer terribly from an ingrained diet mentality that keeps us in a negative cycle (I include myself in that group). I, for example, suffered from all or nothing type of dieting. I had to be "PERFECT" or else I was being "Bad" or cheating. This type of thinking can be very damaging. One glitch in the eating program and the negative thoughts start flowing and then the "I give up" attitude surfaces and all is lost until the next "First day of the rest of my life" rolls around.

If you have trouble finding a therapist, you can always go the self help route. A couple of good books to read on the whole diet mentality and *** &d upness around food are: The Gift of Our Compulsions (O'Malley) and Intuitive Eating (Tribole and Resch). I don't agree with the Intuitive Eating philosophy of eating what you want, when you want, listen to your body and your weight will even out. I don't think we as morbidly obese people have any intuition when it comes to eating and we have to completely reset and retrain ourselves how to eat properly. What I do like about Intuitive Eating is the way they are able to look at disordered eating, break it apart and make it completely understandable and acceptable and a place from which to start healing.

Fat Chance (Dr. Robert Lustig) is a great book to arm you with real knowledge on how food works in the body. It's a bit laborious, but damn, it's good. You can also see if you can find a youtube of his seminar titled Sweet Revenge. It's a down and dirty explanation of the detriment of sugar in today's foods. He also has some very solid points on eating carbs. He even came up with a category of "Safe Carbs".

Yup, I went off again. Sorry, but having been one who has regained some weight and really struggled to start to take it off again, the therapy issue is an important one to me. If I can prevent even 1 person from having to deal with what I did those 18 months, my diatribe is worth it.

Anyhow, hope this is useful for you.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write that very informative and helpful post.  I hate it when I hear people say "I'm being good so I can't eat that" or "I was bad last night because I ate ____."  I agree that, that kind of negative self talk CAN'T be good for us on any level. 

I will certainly check out the books you mentioned as well as the webinar.  I am more than willing to do anything I can to help myself be successful and stay successful.  Therapy, self-therapy, whatever it takes!

Thanks again!

~Suzy

I'll have to disagree with you & Frisco on this one. Food education & therapy are 2 different things but they can work hand in hand with each other for wl patients. Therapy was never meant to educate you on how to eat properly. It is meant to show you if certain situations will "trigger" you to turn to food to cope., it'll help you find other ways to deal with that.

Therapy deals with all the mental stuff. Food education deals with all the physical stuff, at least that's how I see it, but both are meant to work with each other, not just do 1 & neglect the other. 

I do agree that it i**** or miss finding a good therapist & maybe alternatives can work just as well. Everyone is different, books, support groups, therapy apps, etc might be what is good to help one get to goal & stay there. Hope this makes sense. 

Interesting how you interpreted my post and provides an opportunity for me to clarify.

I certainly did not intend to imply that education and therapy were mutually exclusive. I wrote, "...that food education can go a long way in helping you fight the battle." Then went on to outline my own therapy. I am a strong proponent of both. I have even worked with a nutritional therapist - an RD who teaches people about nutrition while also working on the emotional aspects that come up from learning how to eat in a healthy manner.

The whole food/obesity/weight loss thing is a huge tangled up ball of yarn. However one needs to untangle it, by all means....

I have to say you are always so helpful with your posts. You are honest also which is a good thing. 

Wow! Thanks. That's very kind of you to say. You know, I was wildly successful the first 14-15 months post op. I don't want anyone else to fall into the pit that I did when I was feeling infallible. If I can help someone avoid it, I really want to. It's a hard climb back out.

I think therapy is a great support mechanism while trying to understand and change your eating habits.

I think you have received many good tips on how or where to find a therapist, but I would also add that a relationship with a therapist is very much like finding a good friend or mate. There needs to be a good chemistry. If not, it probably won't work.

I had very little understanding of basic nutritional information so just learning about foods helped me make better choices when I started this process. I still give into cravings from time to time, but I think moderation is the key. I agree that we cannot 'break up' with food. Feeling restricted in what I could eat is what made me crave even more!

I have also found that most days when I have eaten my quota of protein & drank enough water my cravings are more manageable. Head hunger is the hardest thing for me to deal with...I know it comes from a variety of emotions, but having enough coping mechanisms is an ongoing battle.

Best of luck!