I NEED A THERAPIST!!!

I know I have a bad relationship with food and we need to break up.  I need to learn how to move on and find a HEALTHY relationship!  Problem is...I have tried counselors/therapy before and did not have ANY luck finding a good one.  I usually ended up counseling them!  REALLY!!! 

How did you find your therapist?  What tips do you have for finding one?

The place where I went to do my psych eval has counselors who specialize in WLS patients.  My Therapist also speaks monthly at the support groups out of my Surgeon's office.  You may want to ask people in the support group or even ask your Surgeon.  I also can relate to the bad relationship with food for sure!  I had to admit that food had become my best friend :(    Wishing you the best!

I'm all for counseling.....when it's the right fit and truly needed and effective. 

Poor counseling, which is quite common puts you in a place worse than when you started.

Some here will push the therapy card when the wind blows.

Many times working on the positives can negate some negatives.

Learning about proper nutrition and food preparation gives you great reasons to commit to a healthier relationship with food. Knowing what to eat and why is very satisfying and is a very positive approach.

We all have some sort of issues with food, learning to eat correctly is a great fist step.

No amount of counseling is going to make watching TV and eating chocolate chip cookies sound like a bad idea.

It really takes about 6 months for new normals to be established.

Therapist or no therapist, your desire to do this can be the most powerful tool.

Hope this helps !

frisco

Education IS imperative. We MUST educate ourselves about nutrition. It is VITAL to learn how to read and understand labels, both on food and vitamins/supplements. 

But becoming obese was never about being rational. It was emotional. Knowing the nutritional or molecular composition of a chocolate chip cookie won't make you crave them any less. It's an emotional response.

Someeople can figure out those things on their own. Most need help. The solution is not an either/or. There are a LOT of components to successfully turning our lives around. We need a lot of tools in our tool box. Therapy is just one, but an important one.

Frisco, I really have to take exception with this statement of yours: "It really takes about 6 months for new normals to be established."  I think it does a huge disservice to those newly postop.  If eating "clean/good/on plan" for six months is all that it took for new normals or habits to be established, there would rarely be those *****gain.  Many of us make excellent use of the honeymoon period and follow the rules, only to struggle years out.  

Getting to the root as to what made us obese/morbidly obese is key to success; otherwise those old habits (regardless of how long we were "perfect"), will creep back in.  Whether that is through seeking out a therapist, reading self-help books, or surrounding yourself with a strong support team, building awareness of one's thought patterns and behaviors is the key to long-term success, not a set amount of time. 

I would like to know were you an emotional eater?  Did you stress eat? Did you ever hide and eat by yourself? Did you ever go through the drive thru and purchase a meal for yourself and someone else and order yourself something else to eat on the way home? Then I hide the evidence that you ate another meal?

Well I did all of these things. Do you think someone who does this can change by themselves? It does take work on a daily basis to make sure I eat healthy and make good choices. 

Bad behaviors can be changed but when you have done them for so long it will take longer than 6 months. Now do you think after reading this someone like this should get therapy?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes....... and eat when I was sad and when I was happy and eat for reward and celebration. Ask for utensils for 4 with to-go orders. Stop at McDonalds on the way home after eating out with others. Having boxes of candy gift wrapped. Buying a cake and having Happy Birthday XXXXX written on it. Pretend I was on the cell phone reciting while ordering at the deli. Having my catering person box up leftover lunch for the "neighbors". Buy donuts by the dozen instead of 4. Keep plastic bags in the car for fast food trash to keep the incriminating smell down. Ordering a to-go meal while still eating at a restaurant.

I scheduled WLS at my surgeon consultation and on the way home stopped at the Hofbrau for a complete turkey dinner with all the fixins, than phone ordered a large pizza and 2 liter diet Pepsi than went home and ate while reading up here on OH.

I have more if that's not enough?

It is my fault for not elaborating for the peanut gallery......My bad

When I said "It takes about 6 months for new normals to be established" to the Pre-Op OP. 

- Understanding that full plates of American portions will never happen again.

- Protein centric meals are whats right.

- No drinking with meals. Wait over an hour to resume drinking.

- Shop for fresh foods.

- Exercise

No way did I mean anyone was "fixed" at 6 months.

You can think what you want to think..... you needed therapy, I needed education, guidance and the reasons why.

If you read my post, it says counseling is great with the right fit.

Am I fixed at near 6 years out..... No, as long as I want ice cream more than broccoli. But, I do eat ice cream and cake on planned for occasions because I have learned how to make it work. 

I eat great and I'm more into food now, more than ever and stay in a +/- 6lbs. weight range.

Does it take work- Yes and for me, continued education in bariatrics and nutrition may be my therapy.

frisco

Please do not take offence for what I wrote. I just sometimes have to remind myself how I got there in the first place. I only go to therapy once a month. I also know that I have to talk myself out of doing things on a daily basis. Nutrition is very important also. I learn daily about food that I never knew was let's just say not good for us. 

Understanding my food addiction is part of my battle. Having a plan is the best thing I can give myself daily. I think helping others does help me in my journey also. 

I am glad you posted about your past behaviors. I am glad that what you are doing works for you. Everyone here wants everyone to do well. 

The peanut gallery? So while you throw pearls before swine, we should just nod sagely and not dare to offer a different opinion?